


Its all fun and games until someone hurts Wally

by Justa14writer



Series: Broken [1]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Blood, Blow Jobs, Body Image, Chemicals, Cutting, Dark, Depression, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Experimentation, Fear of Flying, Fear of Heights, Flashbacks, Fucking, Gags, Hurt, Insanity, Knives, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mindfuck, Mommy Issues, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Non-Consensual Touching, Not Happy, Painful Sex, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rudolph West's A+ Parenting, Season 1, Self-Worth Issues, Semi-Unreliable Narrator, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Surgery, Surprise Dinah Angst!, Tears, Therapy, Vibrators, Wally Kidnapped, Wally Whump, Weight Issues, Whipping, happy memories that just make you sadder, like...some heavy stuff you guys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-05-18 22:53:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 52,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5946316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justa14writer/pseuds/Justa14writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The problem wasn't that he thought these imposters were his friends, the problem was he wouldn't be able to tell them apart when his real friends came to rescue him...</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Cadmus has decided to unlock the secrets of the speed force. And when the Flash is to hard to catch what do you do? Kidnap his sidekick of course! </p>
<p>But Lex Luthor decides to make it more amusing for himself by psychologically breaking the teen. How? By making controllable clones of the Young Justice team, Roy, Flash, Batman, Wonder Woman, Hawkwoman, Green Lantern and Green Arrow.</p>
<p>Will Wally be able to recover?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

February 19th 2013

"Uggg, why do we have to go to some random Wayne Enterprise laboratory again?" Wally asked for the one hundredth time.

"KF pay attention!" Artemis yelled exasperated. 

Robin snickered, "Because there was a radioactive malfunction at a remote lab. Civvies can't get help to it so the league is sending in us." 

Wally huffed. Can't the Bat fix his own problems? Oh wait, Bruce Wayne and Batman are supposed to be seperate people...

"Alright," Kaldur said suddenly "Miss Martian how much closer? We've got to come up with a plan to enter the building." 

"ETA five minutes Aqualad." 

"Thank you; I believe Superboy and Miss Martian should go in first while Robin finds out the safe places for Kid Flash, Artemis, and I to enter."

They agreed with the plan, getting ready to exit the plane in the remote jungle location.

Kid Flash watched as the teams resident Super and Martian enter the abandoned (but still new looking) building. 

"All right. We see the problem." Came Superboys gruff voice.

"We can enter through the left side entrance." Robin said looking up from the hologram on his wrist. "KF you should speed in first and meet up with Miss M and Superboy. We'll be right behind you."

"Got it." 

He ran around the building until he got to the door. He kicked it open with a bit more flourish than necessary. 

He ran into the laboratory only to stop in his tracks.

Wasn't this place was supposed to be completely abandoned by civvies because it was too dangerous? 

Why were there hundreds of scientists milling around?

And wasn't this a Wayne Enterprise laboratory?

Why were they all wearing white like- like-

"Cadmus?!" He gasped.

This- this didn't make any sense! How could Batman screw up his own stuff with Cadmus?! What?!

He spun around trying to make sense of his surroundings.

"Awww, he looks shocked." Came a familier voice. He spun around to see Red Arrow leaning in the doorway.

"Why? Red- whats going-"

"On?" Came Superboys voice in a very wrong sneering kind of way.

Robins cackling came into earshot causing Wally to faulter.

"Rob? Whats going on?" He said raising his arms up hoping to calm down his boyfriends creepiness. 

"I thought it was obvious." Said Artemis to M'gann, rolling her eyes.

Now Wally was even more confused, wasn't anyone else as confused as he was?!

M'gann giggled, "Be nice, he's never had *all* of his teammates gang up on him at once. Its usually just one."

"Gang up? On me? But-but why?" Wally couldn't wrap his head around the idea of all of his friends ganging up on him. 

A deep sigh of disappointment sounded from behind him.

Uncle Barry was behind him as the Flash.

"It's obviously a trap Kid Idiot." He said shaking his head.

"But-but why?!"

His world started to spin madly, and the floor was suddenly rushing up to meet him. 

When his head hit the floor he barley felt anything being way too numb. He looked above him waiting for the punchline or an explanation. 

All he saw was Batman standing over him with an empty needle in hand. 

Then everything turned black.


	2. Chapter 2

Friday, March 11th: Three Weeks Later

Robin stormed into the compound barley hearing Batmans orders to spread out.

Wally, his amazing speedster boyfriend, has been missing for three weeks too long. 

They still had no idea how they caught the speedster in the first place but that hardly mattered when Batman and Green Lantern found a lead that led them to the Amazon Jungle.

Robin frantically searched the rooms knocking out scientists on the way, 'Wally, please please be okay'

He hoped and hoped that Luthor and Cadmus didn't damage him or make him unfixable.

There was a nagging voice voice in the back of his head (that sounded like Batman) that said that he's been gone to long to hope for such things. 

The Flash sped by him causing him to stumble slightly. The Flash and Batman were in charge of the mission and the young justice team was only allowed on because they had practically begged them on their knees to rescue their friend.

The young justice team, Hal, Barry, Bruce and Oliver were the only ones who even knew that everyones favorite speedster was missing. 

Wally had touched many hearts including many members in the league. 

Wonder Woman and Hawkwoman were known to Wally as Aunt Di and Auntie Shay. And of course Oliver and Hal were both his Uncles so they were close. And Dinah wasn't just the teams therapist, but their den mother as well. And Batman had definitely warmed up to the ginger speedster. 

Oliver was under strict orders to NOT tell Roy whatsoever, because well...imagine the rampage.

Dick met up with the rest of the team, Batman, and Flash outside of the last room. Only this one had a more complicated lock code. 

Flash was vibrating with anticipation. 

When the door was finally opened they ran in only to stop and stare at the sheer size of the room. 

They were on an observation deck overlooking a large lab.

It was the size of a football field with more scientists milling around large blinking machines and vials of strange liquid. 

And it suddenly became blindingly clear how they got Wally in the first place.

There were clones of Artemis, Kaldur, M'gann, Conner, Roy, Dick, Bruce, Barry, Oliver, Hal, Diana, Shayera, and even Clark (who wasn't particularly close to Wally).

The Roy and Artemis clones were lounging on a machine hooked up to the wall by bright neon wires. They looked relaxed and natural. 

The M'gann clone was chatting excitedly with the Conner clone who looked stoney but happy to be in her presence.

The Robin clone was typing away on a replica of his own hologram, a look of intense concentration on his features. He was nodding along to whatever the Kaldur clone was saying to him calmly.

The Superman and Wonder Woman clone had their patented godlike stance going in the corner while talking to Hawkwoman clone who was flexing her muscles in antcipation for a fight. And the Hal and Green Arrow clones were laughing at some joke that was probably atrocious.

It was so much like them that they all (including Batman) did a full double take before searching the ground for their friend. 

Their vision was blocked by the backs of the Batman and Flash clones. 

They were bent over a table clearly in deep concentration.

Superboy gasped in shock, eyes wide as he stared at the table in horror.

"It's- it's him!" he said pointing a shaky finger at clone Batman and Flashs back.

The Batman clone moved to the side a little to grab a scalpel off a nearby table revealing a lab table with their speedster strapped to it, chest exposed and bloody. 

Even if they wanted to have self control in this situation (i.e. Come up with a plan) they wouldn't be able to stop themselves from leaping the railing.

\---

The battle didn't last as long as long as you would have thought it would.

The clones weren't very strong or powerful at all. They had very dull versions of the originals powers and the three archers could hardly use their bows.

When they'd torn up all the equipment and things, Robin frantically searched for Wally only to find the real Batman and Flash already there. Batman was wrapping his chest in bandages while the Flash pulled off an oxygen mask that was giving off a strange orange gas. 

Wallys head lulled to the side pathetically and his eyes were half open and glazed over. 

His pretty green eyes were duller and almost unrecognizable. (Robin hoped to whoever was up there that it was because of the drugs)

When Flash and Batman were done,  Flash gingerly picked up his nephew (who had fallen unconscious after the drugs left) and started to walk (slowly) the the plane while Batman called in Green Arrow and Green Lantern to pick up the prisoners. 

"I'll stay here, go." he ordered.

They rushed from the room, thankful that they had the all clear. 

When they got to the plane the Flash had already gotten him on a cot and was hooking him up to an IV. Robin knew that he should let the Flash take care of his nephew...but there was still a selfish part of him that wanted to go over and make sure his everything was okay.

He resisted and instead sat in his seat, facing the skyline searching for the mountain.

\---

When they got to the mountain the Flash immediately ran to the medlab leaving them to occupy the too empty living room. 

After a few hours Batman returned, ignoring them and heading through the doors.

He wasn't in there long before he walked back out to address them, the Flash behind him. He Flash looked sick to his stomach, making Robin sick too. 

The Flash looked like he was going to say something before speeding into the kitchen without a word and devowering half the contents in the fridge.

Robin really really hoped that the sick look was just from lack of energy. 

"Wally hasn't woken up yet, however, when he does it will probably be best no one visited him."

"What?!"

"Wait!...we just leave him!"

"No way! We've missed him!"

" *Silence*..." Batman hissed.

They fell quiet.

"Ki- kids Wally's... Wally's probably not going to be able to HANDLE visitors." Flash said quietly. " *No one* is going to able to visit him until we have a plan of how to help him."

The fact that the Flash was admitting this scared Robin.

"Why?" M'gann asked sniffing a little.

"Think about what we saw in there." Batman said gruffly.

Robin thought about it and couldn't even be upset that he hadn't thought it up before hand he was so horrified.

"Clones." He whispered.

Batman and Flash nodded.

"When he wakes up, he's probably going to think that he's still in his captors hands. Nobody visits him until we know how to convince him that he's safe. Understood?"

They mumbled affirmative and watched the Flash lock the medlab doors, leaving the speedster inside.

Flash turned around. "Monday there will be a meeting at the Watchtower about what was done to Wally. Everyone (including those who did not know in the first place) will be filled in. You all will be going."

They nodded, watching the two heros leave the room. 

They retired to their beds early.

How could they show Wally that he was safe?

What did the clones DO to him?

Just as 11 rolled around, Dick suddenly sat bolt upright. 

What if he was there when Wally woke up,  and *convinced* him? There was no way the clone had his memories! There had to be a way to show Wally that he was the real Dick Grayson! 

He lept from the bed, put his sunglasses on, and stealthily crawled into the air vents. (Warry of Superboys hearing)

When he got to the medlab, he looked down from the grate. Most the lights were off, except for the lamp right next to his bed. 

There was a mini fridge next to him that probably had some speedster protein bars and water in it. 

Wally was sleeping peacefully, the blanket pulled up to his chin.

Robin dropped down, and crept over to the bed lightly.

Now, how to make himself as non clone like as possible...

First- take off the glasses.  
Second- sit down in one of the chairs, but make sure your not *looming* over him.  
Third- take his hand because you really really missed your boyfriends smooth, overly warm hands.  
Fourth- cry tears of joy because you just realised how lost you were without him and how how you thought you were never going to see him or his bright eyes or his beautiful smile again and how worried you were and still are...

...alright maybe those last two were more for Robin than Wally...

He tried to stay patient and calm, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to leap at him and hug him and kiss him because that would deffinatly freak him out and probably set him back mentally.

\---

2 am, Friday March 12th

Robin had dozed off a few times but was awake when Wally started to stir slightly.

Robin looked up hopefully, making sure to not be intimidating.

'Remember' he told himself, 'Wally's not going to be himself, so don't be disappointed when he doesn't believe you're really here to help'

Wally's eyes fluttered open and looked around blearily. 

He looked kind of out of it, making Robin wonder if he was just sleepy or if Bruce and Barry had him on drugs.

He was slower, and first blinked a few times trying to focus. 

He sat up, the blanket falling down to his waist revealing the bangages on his chest and bruises on his shoulders. 

He looked down at his lap noticing the blanket, then he looked to his left saw the medlab doors and froze. 

Dick watched curiously. Was it possible that Cadmus had similar labs to theirs? 

But even that didn't make sense, there were enough differences right? Surely Wally knew the difference between the Mountain infirmary and a Cadmus labratory?

But none the less he froze in fear.

Dick suddenly felt hopelessly lost and confused. He did NOT think this through enough. He didn't want to get Wallys attention because he didn't want to startle him, but he also didn't want Wally to take notice in him and find him just being silent and staring. 

He was still holding his hand too, but now he couldn't move it without getting his attention. 

'Well...' he thought, 'I've gone this far'

Wally was still staring at the doors in fear, before he clenched his hands finally feeling a presence there.

He tensed, slowly turning his head to his hand, as if afriad to meet whoever was with him all at once.

He kept his eyes on their hands, already knowing who it was, not needing to raise his head higher.

He as trembling in pure *terror*.

His dirty red hair was casting his face with a shadow making it impossible to see his eyes.

Dick squeezed his hand very very slightly-- just enough to let him know that he was there. But Wally flinched anyway. 

"Wally," Dick whispered soothinly. But Wally flinched again making Dick feel guilty for not thinking this through all the way. "Walls, it's really me. Okay? We got you out. You're at Mt. Justice Wally."

That had the opposite effect Dick wanted.

Now Wally was shaking and taking deep shuddering breaths. 

~~

Friday, February 26th: Day Seven since Capture

"Wall-man. Come on, wake up, please wake up." Wally groaned in pain, waking up with a massive headache. He was hearing Dicks voice (or was it the clones again?) filtering in and out of his groggy thoughts.

He opened his eyes, immediately tensing when he saw the familier sunglasses. After the first 'rescue' he had been warry of the clones tricks. Was this another one? Just playing with his emotions again?

'Please don't be...' 

Robin (or clone Robin) was hovering over him clearly worried even though Wally couldn't see his eyes, to this right was Artemis (or clone Artemis) looking at him through anxious gray eyes.

Robin's hand came up to cup his face causing Wally to flinch back. 

How many times had those hands hit him until see couldn't see?

Or was this the real Dick, who would never hurt Wally like that?

Wally wanted it to really be him so bad, but he didn't think he could handle the crushing defeat and hopelessness from the last time the clones had played him.

"Wally, you're safe." said Artemis, slowly and carefully, blonde hair tickling his nose. "You're at Mt. Justice Wally." she said stepping out of the way, letting Wally see the doors of mt Justices infirmary. 

His heart swelled. Two bit knock offs of his teammates couldn't make an exact replica of the medlabs!

Could they?

~~

Back with Dick and Wally: Friday March 12th

Somehow, telling Wally this didn't make him anymore less scared. But at the same time it make him more scared.

He wasn't shaking anymore, but his shoulders were still hunched, as if trying to make himself smaller and he was still tense. And he still hadn't looked up which all scared Dick. 

How could he still doubt that he was safe? 

"Robin. Report." came the voice of Kaldur in his ear, almost making him jump out of his skin if not for his training with Batman. 

He forgot he still had the communicator in his ear.

"We went to your room and you weren't there." Superboy said bluntly.

"Are you in there with Baywatch?" came Artemis's voice.

"Ya, I'm here." Dick said lowly putting his sunglasses on for his secret identities sake. Wally didn't outwordly show sign of hearing him, but Dick doubted he tuned him out.

"We are under orders to not go disturb Kid Flash." Kaldur scolded. "I suggest you leave before he wakes up."

"He's already awake."

Silence.

And then, "Now that Boy Wonder's broken the rules none of you can stop me." Artemis said hotly.

"Be careful, he's freaked out." Robin warned as Artemis stepped into the room with her mask down. 

At the sound of the door Wally tensed, but still didn't look up, or remove his hand from Robin's. As if fearful of what he would do.

She approched slowly and cautiously, not wanting to scare the speedster.

"Wally?" she asked sitting in a chair next to the bed. She looked at Robin for hints, but he could only shrug is shoulders so she tried again. "Baywatch?" 

THAT got a reaction.

He flinched away from her as if struck and tried to shrink in on himself even more. 

It was then that Robin took in his size. Along with being paler, he was also skinnier. To skinny. His skin looked like it was just stretched over the bone. Robin could easier count his ribs and it *scared* him. Wally should never look like this. Wally could *die*. 

Before Robin could offer food, the doors slid open once again. This time with M'gann floating towards them. 

"We've decided it would be best to go in one at a time, so it doesn't feel like we're ganging up on him." Kaldur said from the communicator. He didn't sound happy, but he must have figured out that nothing was stopping them now that Robin broke the rules. 

Reason number 785 why this was a bad idea and he should have thought about it more and not just done it on impulse...

M'gann had a tray in her hands, and that had Robin smiling. Cookies! There was no way they could taint something so innocent like M'gann's cookies right?

"Wally? Wally look up please." M'gann asked, her smile falling a little when she saw how tense he was in their presence. 

Wally tentatively looked up, and Robin celebrated internally. 

They were getting through to him!

~~

Wednesday, March 2nd: Day Twelve since Capture

"Please look up." said the not-M'gann softly.

And Wally tried not to, he really did...but the not-M'gann had her *voice*.

She looked and sounded just like his friend, and he could never stand to be the reason her pretty green eyes were downcast or if he was the reason her voice had the confidence taken out of it. 

And he also looked up because...because...well he remembered the LAST time he had disobeyed an order from his captors. It was better to be submissive in the long run.

So he looked up, into the *wrong* green eyes, the *wrong* green skin, with the *wrong* red hair. And he could feel just a little bit more of his sanity slip away...

As it did everytime he looked at his not-friends. 

~~

Friday, March 12th: Day One since Rescue

Wally looked up to meet M'gann. 

His face was gaunt and just as skinny as the rest of him. His lips were chapped and unhealthy. He had deep bags under his eyes like he hadn't slept well in days or weeks.

And they had to stop and stare, because his *eyes*.

They were no longer filled with life or confidence or joy. They were dull green/gray-- unrecognizable.

They were empty, and depressed, and- and ...broken.

They were also wide with fear as they looked at M'gann, as if waiting for the blow. 

M'gann recovered and slowly brought the tray up into his eye sight. 

"I- I baked you some cookies Wally." she offered. 

His eyes found the cookies and for a moment, something sparked in his eyes...it wasn't memory, but instead *intrest*. 

Then they dulled again and he seemed to deflate. He didn't make any moves for them and instead looked at M'gann for an explanation.

They were confused. Why was Wally turning down cookies?

~~

Wednesday, March 2nd: Day Twelve since Capture

Not-M'gann had a cookie sheet filled with cookies that looked delicious- if a bit burnt. 

But he knew better than to take them. They were probably going to eat them in front of him, like they did with all good food, before giving him scraps and laughing.

(Laughing. Always laughing. With *their* voices. How could he love a sound and hate it just as much?)

The M'gann clone pushed them towards him teasingly. 

"Come on, you're allowed. We may have *forgot* to feed you the past two days but I asure you we're very, very sorry." She smiled (so wrong, so wrong) "Go on."

And he knew it was going to be a mean trick, that they were going to get his hopes up again only to send them crashing down on him like they had been doing again, and again, and *again*.

But he just wanted to get the ball rolling because dragging it out hurt almost as much as much as getting his hope back only to be deafeated time and time again. Almost.

So he tentatively reached his hand out. And...oh...he was right, she suddenly wrenched them out of his reach (much to the amusment to the Roy and Hal clone) his stomach whined in protest but Wally didn't show any outside emotion. He was used to it unfortunately. 

Towards the beginning he might have whispered 'why? Why do this when you're already *experimenting* on me?' but he knew better than to ask stupid questions like that now. He would just get laughed at and he didn't like to hear the clones laugh at him with HIS friends laugh.

Not-M'gann reached for one of her cookies and ate it with relish. Her face turned to one of pure bliss as she ate it with gusto. 

Wally tried not to let it get to him, they had done this before with all kinds of his favorite food. But for some reason, he was really craving some of Meg's cookies which made him homesick which made him sad. And now he was just a mess of emotion and he didn't like it.

After not-Hal and not-Roy had also eaten cookies in front of him they dropped the usual gray stuff down on the floor.

"Whoops," not-Roy sneered as it fell off the tray and onto the ground, spilling the 'food' onto the dirty dungeon floor. "Looks like you're going to have to eat it off the floor." he laughed that nasty laugh again causing him to flinch (how was he going to hear his friends laughter without waiting for the pain ever again?). They left leaving Wally and his gray goop alone.

He didn't care that there was a camera watching him for the clones entertainment, he ate it anyway. 

~~

Friday, March 12th: Day One since Rescue

"Wally," she said softly, "you can have them, I promise."

Wally just looked at her before tentatively reaching a boney hand out. He hovered over the first one, looking back up with a small crease in his brow as if wondering how he got so close.

They waited for him to realize that they were really for him. And then maybe he would realize that they were the real deal.

He took it and just held it in his hand, staring at it with the same crease in his brow. 

He lifted it into his mouth and took the tinest bite, only getting crumbs. Robin wondered if they had ever laced his food with poison and once again felt angry at Luthor and Cadmus for doing this to him. But he swallowed down his anger, not wanting Wally to think that he was angry at him.

To prove that the cookies were safe, Robin reached his other hand over and took one for himself. He took a bite, used to the burntness of them and grinned at M'gann.

"These are great, right Walls?" He asked.

He didn't say anything, still giving the cookie in his hand a strange look.

He looked up, meeting M'gann's eyes before dropping back onto his lap. He frowned suddenly.

What ever he was going to say was cut off when Superboy entered the room. Not scowling but not smiling either. Wally checked to see who it was before flinching at seeing Conner.

A look of hurt flashed across Conner's face before it was gone again. Leaving a neutral expression. 

He sat next to M'gann and Artemis giving Wally one of his rare smiles. 

Wally flinched again, eyes dropping to his lap and the half eaten cookie that was there. 

He didn't make a sound, instead he just sat there tense and quiet. 

The quiet part freaked Robin out the most. This was Wally West, Kid *Mouth* he wasn't supposed to be quiet for more than two seconds. 

They *changed* him. They made him afraid of holding Robin's hand. Robin was disturbed, heavy on the dis.

And Richard Grayson was NOT happy about this.

\--

Aretmis was not okay. All she had done was call the speedster by her favorite nickname and he flinched like she had hurt him. Someone with her face *hurt* him. They made him *fear* the name 'Baywatch' and she was not okay with it.

Artemis Crock was NOT happy.

\--

Miss Martian was upset. She was having  difficult time finding the silver lining. Sure Wally was here, but he had looked at her like she would take cookies from him! TAKE COOKIES FROM HIM! Why on earth would they desecrate something so good and so innocent like cookies?!

No, 

M'gann Mor'ze was NOT happy.

\--

Superboy was not in the best of moods. Sure he might have some issues controlling his strength, but he would never-- ever-- willingly harm his teammates. His *friends*. The fact that Wally flinched away like Conner had hit him or hurt him made him angry.

Conner Kent was NOT happy.

\--

Robin was about to try another conversation (to convince Wally that they were real) when Kaldur walked in. 

Wally saw him and his eyes widened in fear. 

"No," he whispered. 

They all paused, even Kaldur. It was the first thing Wally had said. And it was 'no' with *fear* in his voice and in his eyes and in his body. There was hurt on Kaldur's face. Wally suddenly seemed overwhelmed with the amount of people in the room and suddenly twisted his hands in the blankets and sheets backing up into the headboard. He pulled his knees to his chest trying to put as much distance between him and them as he could. 

Kaldur walked forward very very slowly.

"Wally, I know you might have trouble believing this, but we're really your friends. Remember for my birthday two months back you got me a computer and showed me how to work it? And we had vanilla cake and chocolate ice cream?" 

It didn't matter that Kaldur was giving good reasons to believe that they were the real deal but Wally was no longer listening. 

He had his eyes squeezed shut and his hands pressed tightly over his ears rocking back and forth.

When Kaldur got to the edge of the bed Wally looked up suddenly, green/gray eyes wide,

"Please no. Not the water again." He said voice terribly scratchy and underused. 

Kaldur stopped.

~~

Friday, March 4th: Day Fourteen since Capture

Wally had not seen the Kaldur clone since the first day he was kidnapped. But suddenly he wished he was with someone else. He was silent, which was nice. He didn't need anymore confusing or conflicting thoughts about his friends and his not-friends and his fragile sanity.

And he didn't want to be near the Uncle Barry clone that tied him to the tables or the Auntie Shay clone who poked him with needles filled with painful chemicals.

But the not-Kaldur was also new, and new here was painful. (it was all painful, but that didn't mean he wanted more)

The Kaldur clone led him to a room with a rickety table and two buckets full of water. Wally froze, not liking this at all. But the Kaldur clone pushed him forward, causing him to stumble and nearly fall.

He caught himself on the table but barley got his footing before not-Kaldur grabbed his hair tightly in his fist and shoved his head into an ice cold bucket, Wally gapsed before sputtering and chocking. The ice cold water filled his lungs making him cough and struggle but the strong hands held him there until he felt lightheaded before they finally wrenched upwards allowing him sweet oxygen, he coughed and gasped in only for a rattling sound to replace normal breathing sounds.

He tried to cough up the water only to be dunked under a scalding hot bucket. He could feel his skin actually burning to where if he was held under for too long he would get blisters on his face. Oh and another problem...he still couldn't breath! 

He was thrashing again trying to get out of the boiling water but was kept under for a few more seconds before not-Kaldur yanked his hair back up letting the coolness of the room hit him in the face he gasped only being allowed a small cough and a bit of oxygen before being pushed back down into freezing bucket. 

The waterboarding went on for what seemed like hours before not-Kaldur finally yanked him out and let him fall to the ground. He fell onto his hands and knees hacking and coughing up as much water as he could while also trying to *breath*. When he finally got enough in his lungs his arms gave out causing him to fall onto the ground on his chest (also making him cough again). 

When he felt like he could breath again not-Kaldur kicked him in the ribs slightly to get him to roll over. He coughed again, ribs stinging. 

Not-Kaldur sneered at him. "See you tomorrow." Sending cold dread racing through his body. Again?! Nonononono...

Not again. Not again. Not again.

~~

Friday, March 12th: Day One since Rescue

To say Kaldur was upset would be an understatement. First: one of the most mature members of the team disobeys an order from Batman and Flash. Second: his clone made Wally fear water. WATER.

Kaldur'am was NOT happy.

\--

Batman was NOT happy. 

ALL of the members of Young Justice disobeyed orders. He knew he shouldn't really be surprised, they were teenagers who hadn't seen their friend in weeks still...he thought he made his point that Wally needed some time by himself quite clear.

He raised his hand to his communicator to get them out of there. And to call Barry and tell him they were going to have to bump up the meeting for tomorrow.

\--

"Kids." came Batmans unhappy voice. Robin tensed, oh great...reason number 900 why this was a bad idea. "Say goodbye to Wally and leave."

Robin turned to Wally, who was still trying to disappear into the headboard. 

"Alright Walls, we have to go. Here's some food and water. You're welcome to all of it and...and I hope you slept well...and..." Robin didn't know what else to say that might have a double meaning to him. 'We'll be back later' and 'Get some rest' sounded ominous. And 'Oh by the way, we ARE real' sounded like something unreal teammates would say.

"Night Wally."

"G'night Walls."

*grunt* (from Superboy)

"Goodnight my friend."

And one by one. They all left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you noticed I was was doing something a little different, I hoped you liked it. Next chapter I'm going to focus on Wally's experience more and even out the stories. And just in case you're a person who likes things in chronological order, heres what we know:
> 
> February 19th: Wally West Kidnapped  
> February 26th: A second fake rescue with a replica of Mt. Justices infirmary  
> March 2nd: Fake M'gann teases Wally with cookies  
> March 4th: Waterboarding with fake Kaldur begins  
> March 11th: Wally West resuced for real  
> March 12th: Robin and team try and convince Wally that they're real
> 
> ~ Until next time!


	3. What Happened to Wally Part 1

6 am- Mt. Justice- Friday, March 13th: Day Two since Rescue

"He hasn't *moved* Bruce." Barry whispered worriedly.

The two of them were watching the camera with Wally on the screen. At six pm is when the mandatory meeting is going to be held, but neither of them had any idea where to begin on his mental health.

They knew they should ask Dinah, but the idea of involving her *now* after they kept the whole thing from her in the first place did not seem fun. 

So they both were just planning in telling her when they told the league and Roy.

Then there would be more witnesses. 

(And then they could sick the angry archer and angry canary on Oliver) 

But right now they were busy watching Wally stare at a wall. 

"They broke him down Barry." Bruce reminded monotonously. 

It wasn't that he didn't care or that he didn't feel bad about their case, he did. If it were Dick he would be very, very upset. But Barry had to stop expecting a speedy recovery. It was painfully obvious to Bruce that it wasn't going to be and now he had to get it through Barry's head too. 

Wally had his arms wrapped around his legs, keeping his knees to his chest. His empty green eyes hadn't left the wall since he woke up. 

He was just sitting. Still and quietly. It was...unnerving but not unexpected to Bruce. 

"He- he hasn't even tried to escape either." Barry said, looking for the tell-tale spark in his nephew.

Bruce swallowed down his first remark and instead said, "They beat him into submission."

Barry flinched at the word 'beat'. 

"I thought we would be able to convice him quickly...but the kids last night... Wally saw the medlab, all of his friends (Artemis with her mask down), and Kaldur gave good evidence that they were real... And he didn't just *not* believe them, he wouldn't even listen."

Bruce hummed and narrowed his eyes. That was also true. While he didn't believe that they would be able to convince Wally *quickly* he still thought that they had the upper hand with the secret identities. But now that idea was down the drain.

And he still had yet to tell Barry about certain...rooms...he found on the lower levels. That would come later tonight.

"I think it's time the rest of the young justice team learned Robin's identity." Bruce said absentmindedly.

Barry looked at him in surprise so Bruce explained, "I don't like it. But we have to assume the Robin clone tricked Wally by being Dick Grayson too." Barry nodded, looking back at the screen where Wally was still staring at a wall. 

"Have you been able to pull footage from the cameras of the compound yet?"

"No. Whichever clone messed up the wiring wanted to make sure we didn't find out what was done to him."

Barry frowned. "Speaking of the clones, what have you found out from them?"

Bruce shook his head. He had 'branded' all of the clones with a giant 'C' on their arms just in case any of them escaped. But so far it didn't seem to be a problem,

"They're deteriorating. I'd say in about a week nothing will be left. They're also not worth saving." 

Barry whipped around to stare at Bruce like he'd grown a second head. 

"Of course they're not worth saving! Do you see what they did to him?!" He pointed to the camera where Wally still hadn't moved a muscle, not even to get the food that he knew was in the fridge.

Bruce calmly looked at him, "Before you go around saying things like that, you'll remember that a friend of Wallace's is a clone. Also from Cadmus."

Barry flinched. "Not capable of good?" 

"No. They have an extensive knowledge of how to break people, added with the fact that Luthor knows an uncomfortable amount of information on us their only mission is to break him until they die. They don't have any emotions whatsoever (unlike Superboy), they only know how to fake it well. However, the Flash and Batman clone, their mission is to follow through on all orders about...the operations. "

Barry looked at him with an open mouth.

"Someone with *my* face has been cutting my nephew open?"

"Yes." 

Barry looked sick and looked at the screen like he was contemplating running in their and pulling the thin boy into a crushing hug.

Bruce shifted slightly so that way he was in front of the exit.

"I can't interrogate them though. They don't care about what I do because they know they're going to die and they don't care."

Barry frowned before his expressions softened. And then he just sighed.

Then he whispered to himself, "Oh Wally... What did they *do*?"  

\--

Saturday, February 20th: Day One since Capture

7 am

Wally woke up to a dark and dirty cell with no windows and a simple camera in the upper right hand corner.

The door was wide but new so there weren't any cracks or rust to exploit.

8 am

He's tried to escape several times, but he can't vibrate his molecules and the space is too small to get enough running space to knock the door down.

9 am

Robin has brought him food. If it could even be called that. It was gray, had a clay like texture, and tasted nasty. But he ate it anyway because it was filling and he doesn't know when his next meal is going to be. He knows that they're clones. They have to be. But something worried him...

It wasn't that he thought these imposters were his friends, it was that he wouldn't be able to tell them apart when his real friends came to rescue him.

But that was a problem for another day.

10 am

He knows why he's here. 

He's going to be *experimented* on. He was scared. To be perfectly honest. But he wasn't going to let any of them know.

He wouldn't be broken.

5 pm

He doesn't know how long he was in that lab but he knows he never wants to go back. The Batman clone was the one who...operated on him while the team and Roy talked in the background. He had grit his teeth in an attempt not to scream, but after a while the white hot pain became to much and he screamed in agony.

The Batman clone had smirked at him (smirks on Batman- real or not real- were always scary) and reached over and finally put drugs in his system. It wasn't *enough* but it dulled the pain enough for him to stop screaming in pain. 

The taunting laugh of his not-friends also stung... a lot. 

He was...conflicted...on the one hand, the clones were mean and nasty and hurt Wally. 

But on the other hand, he loved his friends and they built him up in the best of ways (despite all the teasing...but that was just friend stuff) so...how was he supposed to feel when the laughs and faces that he loved were now trying to hurt him.

Maybe he wouldn't have to think on it for long.

Tomorrow or the next day his real friends would be here, and he could have a short little session with Black Canary and it would all be fine. 

Yeah, it'll all be fine.

\--

Sunday, February 21st: Day Two since Capture

~Just some horrific, traumatizing experiments that I don't feel like writing about, carry on~

\--

Monday, February 22nd: Day Three since Capture

He doesn't know how long it's been since capture. He doesn't know how long it's been since he passed out. He doesn't know how long it's been since he was fed.

What he does know is that it's chaos outside.

There are explosions and shouts and Wally's trying to get up but (embarrassingly) his legs feel like putty.

He's leaning against the wall when Robins voice is right outside the door saying, "Alright, it's this one. Punch it down Supes."

The door suddenly got a fist sized dent in it, making Wally's heart jump for joy. 

Hope was a very inspiring thing, and was one of the most strongest emotions out there. Second only to love.

Hope pumped through his veins, laced with joy and adrenalin. 

He grinned when Supey punched the door a second time, making the door fall off it's hinges. 

He was weak and his chest hurt but the emotions and adrenalin running through him gave him enough strength to walk over to meet Superboy, Robin and Kaldur. 

"You guys have no idea how glad I am to see you." He grinned and pulled Robin into a hug, after all, he had to be real...would he be rescuing him otherwise?!

Robin returned the hug, squeezing him tight (which made his chest ach in both emotional and physical pain) and whispered "I missed you KF."

If Wally were some kind of emotional sap he might be teary eyed. But Wally West wasn't one to cry.

Besides, it can't have been that long. It's not like he was gone for weeks or anything.

Kaldur stepped forward, and unwrapped the bandages on his chest.

He pulled out a first aid kit and rubbed on ointment on his chest making him feel much better. 

He wrapped his chest in new bandages before putting up the first aid kit.

"Do you think you can walk Kid Flash or will you need assistance?" 

"Or I could carry you." Superboy spoke from a little bit aways. Probably wanting to feel useful since all the big stuff was out of the way.

"I think I can walk, thank you."  

He nearly jumped (but thought better of it) when they finally left the cell. 

Kaldur was leading the way with Robin beside him and Superboy behind them all.

Robin suddenly looped his arm with Wally's causing Wally to grin like the sun.

Happiness threating to consume him.

He was thinking about all the cool stuff he needed to catch up on. Oh! Oh! And him and Dick had a date next Friday. Maybe he should show up on his doorstep with chocolate! No...knowing himself he'd probably eat it all. Flowers! Flowers are awesome! Maybe he can pick some up at Dinah's Flower Shop after his quick little therapy session! Perfect...

They were crossing the lab and had the exit doors in sight (which was open, letting the glorious sunshine).

They were so close- so close!- when it suddenly slammed shut, revealing Roy causually leaning against the wall.

"Going somewhere?" he asked.

Wally's eye's widened. Apparently not all clones were knocked out. He looked at Kaldur, Robin, and Supes waiting for them to spring into action. But they were just...standing there. But...that didn't make sense...

Unless- unless they were fake too.

And suddenly despair came crashing down on him like a tidal wave making tears prick the very corner of his eyes.

They tricked him. They *tricked* him! 

He wrenched his arm away from not-Robin as the not-Robin laughed at his expression.

And...and...that laugh wasn't supposed to be directed at him.

He remembered the happy feeling of Superboy punching down the door that had given him such trouble the other day.

And seeing who he thought were his friends, his real and amazing friends. 

And not-Robin! Hugging him and saying that sweet thing about 'I missed you' and looping his arm with his to be all romantic like. And not-Kaldur making his chest stop hurting.

It hurt. It *HURT*. 

The bone crushing sadness weighed down on him, making him sink to his knees on the floor.

He had no adrenalin left. No joy, no adrenalin, no confidence.

He was tricked. Tricked.

Suddenly, his mind was giving a dull ach. He wanted the real Supes to give him a smile. He wanted the real Kaldur to help patch him up. He wanted the real Robin. He wanted his friends- his family.

He ignored the not-Conner and not-Kaldur, who yanked him up non to gently. 

He didn't care. Couldn't care. 

His body-- the very marrow of his bones-- felt like it weighed a ton. 

Emotions were heavy. And they hurt. And he didn't want them anymore.

-

He was dropped in a different cell. He hugged his knees to his chest.

Maybe if he remembered hard enough he'd remember what it was like to hug the real Dick.

Maybe the session with Black Canary will be a little longer than he planned.

But...he still had his date with real-Dick to look forward to. He would make it. He would be there.

Please get here guys.

\---

Tuesday, February 23rd: Day Four since Capture

~A day of rest for Wally to recover physically before the experiments start back up, carry on~

\---

Wednesday, February 24th: Day Five since Capture

After he had eaten the gray goop, the door swung open to reveal not-Conner standing in the doorway.

Wally tensed, waiting to be dragged away to the laboratory. 

But instead he just shut the door behind him and took wide strides toward him.

Wally tensed and looked up at him through narrowed eyes. 

By the time he realized that he had should probably stand up to meet his enemy (but he looked like his friends) not-Conner was already standing over him. Wally made a move to stand but not-Conner sent a kick to his face, sending him crashing to the ground. His head cracked against the concrete making stars explode behind his eyes lids.

He slurred out "What are you-" 

*Smack*

"Why-"

*Kick*

"What-"

*Hit*

And then Conner (not-Conner, not-Conner!) was beating him black and blue, never hitting the same spot twice. 

Wally couldn't keep from crying out when not-Conner punched him in his sore chest. And once the crys of pain started he couldn't stop them. 

He was in the fetal position, hands over his head, and back curled to protect his vital organs. 

Not-Conner just started kicking his back causing a whole new torrent of pain. Tears pricked his eyes making him mad as well as hurt. He couldn't CRY. He couldn't show weakness to the enemy! (Enemy's with his friends faces) 

But it hurt...it HURT. And soon (just like with the screams and the crying out) it became to much and he was crying. And then he was sobbing. 

And then it stopped. 

And Wally looked up, through his teary black eye to see not-Conner (looked identical, they looked the *same*) staring at him. Just staring.

He grabbed Wally's wrists and yanked them away from his face. He easily fit both his wrists in his hand. (Wally had been losing weight like crazy)

He raised both his wrists above his head and pulled an fist back, landing a bit right on his jaw and lip. Making a nasty purple bruise form and his lip split and send blood down his throat. 

He choked, before not-Conner grabbed his ankle yanking him forward so that his head cracked and dragged against the concrete. He winced before looking down to see what not-Conner was doing. 

He stood up and brought his foot down on his right leg twice making a sick-

*CRAAAAAAACK* *CRACK* 

-sound through the air and making pure agony race through him. 

It was like fire only on the inside, burning and scorching and making him scream until his throat was raw. 

When the intital pain left leaving behind a throbbing sensation in his leg, he finally had the courage to look down at it.

It wasn't a clean break at all, and his leg was contorted with a little bit of bone trying to break through the skin. 

Wally nearly gagged.

He heard a sick chuckle and looked up in shock. Not-Conner looked smug and proud of his handy work. Wally just looked at him with wide, teary green eyes. How? How could he think this was funny? Why would he *do* this? Was there a point that Wally was missing? 

His mind was pain hazed and confused. 

It felt as if something were *gnawing* on his sanity.

Someone with Conners *face* hurt him. HURT him. And so his mind's sub-consciously labeled Conner under Abuse, Hurt, 'Stay Away'.

But that didn't make SENSE. How could the same face be filed under Fun, Friend, 'Spend time with'? 

Conner was his FRIEND. He liked him! He liked how *proud* he looked when he did something awesome on missions. Or the intense look of concentration on his features when he watched static, like he was watching something only he could see. He liked introducing him to new things and loved it even more when he ended up liking them too. He liked to watch him get all flustered around M'gann (because Wally totally ship's them okay?!). 

And even though he knew, he KNEW that the boy in front of him that reduced him to sobs and screams *wasn't* his Conner.

He looked like him, and now he couldn't stop. Couldn't stop his splintering mind from not knowing the difference. He couldn't stop his sub-conscious from categorizing them under the same 'file'- the same name, the same voice, the same face. 

Why did his abuser have to be just like his friends?

\--

Thursday, February 25th: Day Six since Capture

~Another day of rest for Wally physically. Just so you know, he thrashes around on the lab tables a lot which makes the  not-Batman really mad. And not-Robin has been hitting Wally for fun. He's still very confused and he can feel his sanity slipping the more he thinks about the fake rescue, not-Kaldur, not-Conner, and not-Robin, and not-Batman...carry on~


	4. What Happened to Wally Part 2

Friday, February 26th: Day Seven since Capture

"Wall-man. Come on, wake up, please wake up." Wally groaned in pain, waking up with a massive headache. He was hearing Dicks voice (or was it the clones again?) filtering in and out of his groggy thoughts.

He opened his eyes, immediately tensing when he saw the familier sunglasses. After the first 'rescue' he had been warry of the clones tricks. Was this another one? Just playing with his emotions again?

'Please don't be...'

Robin (or clone Robin) was hovering over him clearly worried even though Wally couldn't see his eyes, to this right was Artemis (or clone Artemis) looking at him through anxious gray eyes.

Robin's hand came up to cup his face causing Wally to flinch back.

How many times had those hands hit him until he couldn't see?

Or was this the real Dick, who would never hurt Wally like that?

Wally wanted it to really be him so bad, but he didn't think he could handle the crushing defeat and hopelessness from the last time the clones had played him.

"Wally, you're safe." said Artemis, slowly and carefully, blonde hair tickling his nose. "You're at Mt. Justice Wally." she said stepping out of the way, letting Wally see the doors of mt Justices infirmary.

His heart swelled. Two bit knock offs of his teammates couldn't make an exact replica of the medlabs!

Could they?

"Kids, leave KF alone, Flash and I have to operate."

Wally turned his muddled head towards the source tensing at the word *operate*. 

It was Batman (not-Batman?) pulling healing supplies out of the cupboard.

Robin and Artemis scowled but left anyway, the doors sliding shut behind them.

"Hey Kiddo, how many fingers am I holding up?" Flash was suddenly next to him holding up four(?) fingers, mask pulled down so he was just Uncle Barry at the moment.

"Fouww?" it came out kind of slurred (can't focus, can't focus- Real? Trick? Real? Trick?)

He chuckled, "Alright Kid, thats good enough." He patted his head.

And it felt good. So good to be comforted. He slipped into a sense of pure calm and happiness, his doubt washing away as he saw M'gann and Conner (hurt me, hurt me, hurt me, shut up head thats not him!) waving at him from beyond the glass sliding doors. 

He was slowy relaxing into the bed, his mind listening to the rational side of him saying 'you can't still be there, you're not kidnapped, you're safe' and it made perfect sense. 

 

Until it didn't.

 

"Uncle Barry, what are you-? Wha-"

There was a stinging in his side that had him rolling his head to the side, frowning at the vial of green(?) liquid that was pressed into the side of his stomach.

He was immediately on edge (run run run run, experiments experiments experimentsexperimentsexperi-),

"Don't worry Kid, it's just to see what they did to you."

(Did to you, did to you) 

He always prided himself on not crying in front of his Uncle, almost not ever. But he felt emotionally vulnerable in that moment. He was hurt. He was tired. He was sore. He was confused, and traumatised, and emotionally unstable.

He needed to be comforted and healed. *Needed* to.

So he let tears silently stream down his face as Uncle Barry rubbed soothing circles in his hand while he held it. 

There was a lingering doubt in his mind saying 'don't trust them, wait, stop, don't trust them' but there was an instinctive need there too- to be loved, to be held.

Maybe this time he could be.

Suddenly the feeling of devastation of being manipulated was remembered and he wrenched his hand from Uncle Barry's grasp.

His uncle looked hurt, which made guilt coil in his stomach like worms. 

"I- I- how do I know you're real?" He asked, trying to sit up.

Uncle Barry pressed down on his chest lightly to try and calm him down, but it had opposite effect. 

He started to hyperventilate as his uncles heavy hand rested right where his heart was. 

"Wally, Wally you have to calm down." he said soothingly.

(Too soothingly, notrealnotreal)

"No! No!" then he was fighting his uncle and Batman had to come over making Wally struggle harder because /white tables, white lab coats, tied down, can't move, Batman with a surgical knife, burning past his skin into his bones and muscles, scorching chemicals, blood being pulled from him with needles, his very atoms being *changed*\

Batman, Batman, Batman - no wait, not him, fakefakefake - is he real or fake?! - how do I TELL!!?? 

His mind was cracking as he backed up to the headboard trying to put as much distance between him, his emotions, and his fragile sanity and the still-to-be-determined Batman and Flash.

Batman took a step back, raising his arms in surrender.

(so convincing, so convincing- manipulation?)

He was wide eyed and scared of being tricked.

He knew how he must have looked to them. Broken. Traumatised. Weak.

He focused on leveling his breathing.

Calm. Calm. Calm.

His thoughts were spinning madly, making his head throb with emotions and possibilities.

If they're real then he's just hurting himself by freaking out and stopping them from helping him. If they're not then he's letting the enemy comfort him, manipulate him, *break* him.

What does he do? Who does he trust?

"Kid. Wally, you have to calm down, *please* Kid. I can't see you get hurt. Not again." Uncle Barry said quietly.

And- Oh! Why did that hurt? He hasn't proved himself to be the real Uncle Barry yet! Wally squeezed his eyes shut, threading his fingers through his hair, clutching his head trying to stop his mind from going a thousand miles a minute. 

He can't be tricked- not again, not again notagainnotagain.

But he can't shut them out! Then how is he going to heal?!

What did he do? Why was this so hard?

Uncle Barry (not-Flash?) was about to reach for him when a crash sounded just outside the doors of the medlab. 

Dick (not-Robin?) looked like he was restraining Roy (not-Roy?) from entering the infirmary.

He felt his heart skip a beat with happiness at the same time dread filled his stomach. 

(How can he feel both?)

He was happy because it felt nice to see his best archer friend trying to fight a crowd just to see him. But... the mocking laugh of fake Roy the day he got captured, and when he was at the labs, and during the first 'rescue' still rang in his ears. 

(Wow. Clone Roy's a jerk. Why'd they make him like that? Sure Roy's an asshole but there's no need to be mean...)

He burst into the room with a scowl on his face and an attitude to match. 

Wally ignored the 'runrunrun' in favor of laughing, "Why so mad Roy? No hats to throw?"

Then he clamped his mouth shut (stupid stupid stupid stupid, why would you talk back!? Now you're going to get hurt!) 

But instead of becoming angry he just smiled and it was completely...nice...no sneer-- no meaness.

He strode over, ignoring Batman stepping in front of him frowing in disappointment.  
Barry stood up, "You need some time away from Batman and I. I get it. Wally take some time to sort out your thoughts." He tugged at Batman about to leave the room. "Red Arrow, Roy, don't stay to long." He gave him a warning glare.

Wally almost smiled. Almost. He was still soooo confused. Conflicted, unstable,  broken. 

"Hey, Kid. I've missed you."

("I missed you KF")

He froze.

Fake. Fake. Fake. 

Red Arrow stripped off his mask revealing blue-green eyes. 

"So, I know hugs aren't high on your list of 'how to sort out my mind' but I've seriously missed my bro. Do you know how much I've missed you? But hey! When you're ready to hear about it, I'll tell you what I did to that *other* me! I'll give you a teaser, it has something to do with arrows and dicks." 

Wally burst into giggles at the blatant way he said it. Ya, this was (hopefully) his Roy. He slowly unwrapped his arms from his legs and scooted into Roy's (his bros) waiting arms. 

When he was in reach Roy pulled him into his lap, making Wally stiffen. (runrunrun) Roy wrapped his ridiculously large arms around Wally's small frame unintentionally squishing Wally's arms into his chest. (blockedcan'tmoverunrunrun) Roy linked his hands together just holding Wally there. And he was being held and he was so warm and he felt so safe. Because Roys arms had ALWAYS felt safe and warm and perfect to cuddle into. 

And he felt so safe and it wasn't like anything had *happened* and Roy was being so kind and not jerky at all.

And he wanted to trust him, wanted to *so* bad. He wanted to *trust*.

He let his head rest slightly onto his fellow redheads shoulder -- just to test it out! 

It as pure normalcy and nothing else. 

And he wanted to convince himself that nothing was out of the ordinary in his life.

He was just in the infirmary from a routine mission and his older brother was coming in to comfort him (and would deny it all later).

His brother's arms weren't threatening in the slightest and he was just hugging. Just hugging.

But it wasn't that simple and he couldn't *just* ignore the doubt and confused thougts running through his mind.

But if he shut out the idea of rescue forever, he wouldn't ever be able to accept his real friends help.

He pressed his body against Roy's, wrapping his legs platonically around his waist. He was being held. And he needed it so much. Roy just hugged him tighter.

And Wally actually *thought* about his arms for the first time ever.

How *strong* they were. Sure he knew Roy was strong, he's seen him beat up plenty of baddies. But he, himself had never had to worry about it.

And now, during this really long hug (so nice, so warm) he was hyper aware of all the possibilities he could do right now.

He could *break* him. He could *hurt* him. 

But Wally wanted to be safe so bad.

And if he never let his mind be open... if he shut out the idea of rescue forever... he wouldn't ever be able to accept his real friends help.

So he snuggled deeper, loving the way the archer was so patient and receptive.

\--

He woke up feeling safe and warm. Nose pressed into Roy's collar bone smelling the tell-tale axe that the archer wore, his legs wrapped around his waist, both of Roys arms wrapped around his thin waist.  
Both of his arms were still in front of him, pressed against Roy's chest. 

Roy nuzzeled (*nuzzeled!*) the side of his face.

"You up?"

"Yes." he said back.

And everything was fine. 

 

Until it wasn't.

 

 

Roy pulled him tighter, until Wally's face was pressed up against his collar bone, and his front was pressed into him so much that he didn't have any wiggle room. 

(Couldn't move! Couldn't run!)

He couldn't *move* he was being forced into Roy's embrace. (No! Not forcing! Wally liked hugs! He wanted to be this close! He wasn't broken!)

And Roy didn't *stop*! He just kept moving Wally closer and closer.  
And now his face was pressed into Roy's collar bone so hard that a red mark would be there when he moved.

He took in deep breaths. Calm. He could do calm. He could *do* this. 

But he as starting to feel claustrophobic and he was scared. He couldn't move, couldn't breath. 

He shifted, to let Roy know how close he was, how *trapped* he was.

(Not trapped. Safe. Roy was just...Roy was just reassuring himself that Wally was there. No. Biggie. Whatsoever.) 

But he could only shift so far because he COULDN'T MOVE. His fingers flexed instinctively, kneading into Roy's shirt. Can't move. Can't do anything.

Did he feel him? Did he know? Does he know how panicked Wally is right now?

He swallowed a couple of times, staring at the medlab walls that he could see from his spot under Roy's head.

He began counting random things and finding patterns in the wall. 

But he wasn't calming down. If anything his heart was speeding up. 

Roy's large arm suddenly moved to thread his fingers into Wally's red hair, pressing his face deeper into Roy's collar bone. Roy's strong (can snap him, can break him) callused hand weighed heavy on his head, not giving him room to budge at *all*.

Wally accidentally let a small shudder race through his body.

'Get it together! You're fine!' 

He couldn't move his head and Roy's other arm was wounded around Wally's waist. His fingers flexed, digging into Wally's side. Not enough to bruise, but enough to be known. And it certainly didn't go unnoticed to Wally who as close to hyperventilating. 

He was trapped. He couldn't move. He couldn't breath. 

"R-Roy?" He stuttered. It came out too small though so Roy didn't hear the fear in his voice. He couldn't move. 

He tried to move his legs, but he had no leverage. He worked his hands to Roy's chest to have better leverage and experimentally pushed. Nothing. 

Can't move. Can't run. 

(runrunrun)

Wally shuddered again when both of Roy's hands flexed again. 

So much power. So much control. 

Can't move. 

(runrunrun)

Too trapped. Too helpless.

"R-oy?" he said louder, voice cracking a little.

"Hmmm?" He hummed. The rumbling noise reverberating against Wally's entire being. 

Everything in Wally was tense, even his bones and his molecules. (runrunrun!)

He pushed on Roy's chest lightly, saying "I'm not gonna disappear." he tried to chuckle. Tried to joke. See? He wasn't broken. He couldn't be. Wally West was unbreakable.

But his body said otherwise. His pulse and breath were rising and falling dramatically.

Can't move. Can't run.

Roy laughed at Wally's 'joke'. The sound was unabashed and not mean in the slightest. And normally Wally would love that sound. Because it meant Roy was being himself and felt free to laugh. And normally Wally would love to be hugging Roy when he laughed  because he liked the feeling of being on someones rising and falling chest. 

And the laughter sent warm puffs of air into Wally's hair and he could feel Roy's even heart. 

They nice and slow, * Thump Thump Thump*

But this was not a normal circumstance. 

He couldn't move at all. AT ALL. 

And Roy's even heart just made his want to leap out of his chest.

* ThumpThumpThump *

Can't move. Can't breath. Can't run. Can't MOVE.

Tears were streaming down his face, onto Roy's chest because he couldn't *do* anything.

His eyes were wide and he was scared. So scared. 

He tried to push Roy away but he literally did absolutely nothing to get farther. 

Roy was just running 'soothing' circles into his hip bones. 

Wally was trembling so bad he could be vibrating and his nerves felt so alive and on fire at the same time that he something was going to break at the end of all this and it was probably going to be him.

"Roy. Stop. Let- let me-" but he didn't, if anything he pressed him TIGHTER. 

NONONONONO

Now Wally was thrashing and screaming 'please, please, let me move!' trying to get away.

But Roy did nothing. Nothing. He can't move. Nothing. Not even his head. No matter what he did he couldn't move.

Just when Wally thought he couldn't take it anymore without breaking Roy suddenly extended him at arms length without any warning. 

His fingers were digging into his shoulders so hard a stinging pain sliced through his panic. 

Wally gasped feeling like he had been drowning on dry land before suddenly being trust back into oxygen.

Wallys teary eyes widened feeling like he had been trapped for an eternity.

He grabbed onto Roy's wrists, trying to ground himself to reality. 

"Wally, you need to calm down. Calm. Relax Wally. RELAX."

He felt lightheaded and wide awake and hopelessly tired all at once. Feeling nothing and everything at the same time. And it was killing him. Killing his *mind*.

He needed out. He needed free.

So he tried to wrench himself from the strong hold on his shoulders. But just like before, Roy wouldn't let him. 

Wally thrashed around with all his energy, used his whole body, trying to get more distance between them. But Roy was hardly effected. 

In an act of desperation, Wally had tried to pry Roy's fingers off of his shoulders but they were like iron, even when Wally used both hands, he could do nothing. Nothing. He was nothing. He can't do anything. 

He shook with defeat and madness, and started to sob disparringly into his hands.

After awhile he finally calmed down and chose to wrap his arms around himself, hugging himself while blubbering pathetically.

"Wally?" Roy asked softly.

His blue-green eyes hadn't left his face once the whole time. Unnerving Wally in a way that he couldn't begin to understand. 

He felt odd.

He felt light as a feather. But also felt like he weighed a ton. 

His body felt alive while his mind felt dead. 

He felt crowded. And he felt empty.

His mind was exploding. His mind was short circuited.

He felt different too. Like everything rational in Wally had burned into nothingness, leaving only instinct.

Tears were still running down his face and he was still shaking as he met Roy's eyes.

His eyes were wide with fear and madness, but he was coherent.

"Wally, I'm not gonna stop touching you, because you don't need to be alone right now, but I'm going to lay you down real gently okay? Real slow and gentle. You're safe as long as I'm here."

The immovable hands that had kept him in place for so long were suddnely pushing him backward, causing him to gasp as the world suddnely shifted.

He grabbed Roy's wrist again to keep himself steady while his head and back hit something soft.

He blinked. And then did it again. And then again.

He couldn't connect anything in his mind. 

He couldn't figure out what he was doing. Where he was. How he got here. Or anything else.

All he knew was Roy's wrists and hands were still in his shoulders and they were the only reality that mattered. 

They were what kept him sane right?

"Relax." Roy rumbled.

Wally slowly let go of Roy's wrists and put them at his sides. 

Roy was the rational one right now. He needed to listen to him. 

He slowly let the tension out of his body and relaxed into the bed. 

And slowly...oh so slowly...Roy started to relax his bow calloused fingers.

He pulled back slightly, but as soon as the feeling of Roy's steady hand left his shoulder Wally gasped and sprang up to stop him. 

He can't go. He was afriad that when he sat up Roy wasn't going to be there. Did it make sense that a person disappears just because you don't feel them anymore?

But Roy was there, and he shushed Wallys worries away and came over to sit behind Wally.

He grabbed Wally's shoulders gently from behind and leaned him backwards so Wally's head was resting on his lap.

Roy smoothed back Wally's hair.

And Wally slowly relaxed again. Doing so made him realize how emotionally and physically drained he was. 

His eye lids fluttered.

He fell asleep feeling completely safe with Roy's fingers petting his hair. Even though he had tried to do everything he could to escape him just a minute ago, he decided that that didn't matter anymore.

And with that...more of Wally's sanity flies away~

\--

When Wally woke up next, he was more rational and much more level headed then he had been a couple of hours before.

He still felt that some of his brain was 'fried' or 'short circuited' and that some things just didn't...connect anymore, that he was still stripped to insticts like: hugs, sooting soft tones and warmness: Good. And that, harsh tones, bruises, and yelling: Bad.

But he was doing a lot better. He could be better.

Enough to know that...that hadn't been normal. 

Maybe Roy really was being helpful, and it was Wally who had a legitimate breakdown.

But...had his breakdown been caused by Roy? 

Or maybe his breakdown was bound to happen and Roy was just helping him through it?

And maybe his scattered thoughts were because he was 'traumatised' and Roy was totally in the right or maybe it's exactly how Wally remembered it. Roy not letting him go, Roy trapping him.

He had sounded so at ease, had Wally made up the whole thing in his mind?

Was he even trapped in the first place? Or did his fragile mind just make that up?

Roy was still petting his hair, but he started to shift under Wally, moving his head to slip out from under him.

Wally shifted and tried to sit up, but Roy laid a hand on him, right where his heart was. A silent warning to not get up.

Roy turned to something behind him and came back with a needle.

Wally tried to sit up in panic, pulse thundering in his ears. But Roy's hand was still resting above his heart, not budging. 

He was trapped, again! 

"Calm down. It's to help with the freaking out and help you go to sleep."

Wally forced himself to lay back down, trying to ignore the hand on his chest and the fiddling with the needle.

Be calm. Be calm. Freaking out was how you got in this position in the first place. 

Roy turned to him with a comforting smile, and said "If you want to close your eyes for this part, I won't judge you. But you're going to have to give me your arm."  
Wally slowly slid his arm out from under him, where he had sub-consciously hid it from him as soon as he saw the needle.

He squeezed his eyes shut tight and stuck his arm out within Roy's reach. 

Bow calloused fingers lightly grabbed his arm and found a vein to stick the needle in.

It just pinched a little, no big pain, but what it did bring were painful memories.

It's just to help. It's going to help.

Immediately after the needle left, Wally's body relaxed into a puddle of numbness. 

Roy, then gets on his phone and texts someone quickly. He pouted a little, looking upset with whatever was on the screen. But he was putting it away before Wally could really think on it.

Did Roy even have a phone?

That didn't make sense...

Roy...Roy didn't...have a phone...did he?

Roy suddenly grinned at Wally, and he couldn't help but wonder what the joke was.

His mind wasn't numb or anything, it was just his body that was effected by the drug.

(If it was a medicine to help him calm down...way didn't it do anything to his head?

Maybe he shouldn't complain, he wanted to be alert, he didn't like how...splintered his mind felt at the moment)

Roy bent down, out of Wally's eye sight. 

Wally tried to move to the side to see him. But came to the shocking conclusion that he *couldn't* move a muscle. And now, he couldn't even struggle.

How many times could a person panic at being trapped in a day? 

"Rrrooii?" Great. Now he could hardly speak.

It's all part of the plan.

Roy only means the best.

He's good. He can do this. 

He. Is. Fine.

And it as all fine.

 

Until it wasn't.

 

Roy came back up with...straps? 

What...what was he doing? 

Wally felt fear build up in him. 

/Strapped to a table, can't move, white laboratories\

Roy was now tying him down onto Mt. Justice's hospital bed.

Wally couldn't move. Couldn't breath. Couldn't think.

At all.

Nothing made sense. 

He couldn't make sense of anything.

His brain *hurt*, like someone had poked holes in it. 

He simply couldn't wrap his head around the idea of Roy *strapping him to the bed*.

But he was. 

One on his forhead, one across his chest, one on his forearms, one on his thighs, and another one on arcoss his shins.

And then, a needle was pressed into his neck putting something into him. 

What was this one for?

Wally was frowning.

Then he was gritting his teeth in pain and trying to thrash on the bed.

Feeling had come rushing back to him like a wildfire, as well as a wave of pain.

And then another one. And then another one.

Then the pain wasn't stopping in the slightest and it just kept coming.

Something sticky was pressed to his chapped lips.

Duct tape.

Roy duct taped his mouth shut.

Tears of pain and confusion whelled up in his eyes. 

Roy suddenly propped his chin on his arm, elbow right by Wally's head.

"That looks like it hurts."

He leaned down, right next to his ear where Wally couldn't see him.

His warm breath right on his ear as he said, 

"You wanna know why?"

Wally's body jerked in pain, making him cry out into he duct tape.

Roy leaned in closer, nose brushing his temple, and whispered right into his ear,

 

"Because I'm not Roy."

 

Wally momentarily forgot the pain surging through his body as the horrifying possibilities exploded in his head. 

His head felt like it was going to explode as a wave of pain made itself known.

He wasn't Roy.

This wasn't Roy.

This. Wasn't. Roy.

This wasn't the medlab.

This wasn't Mt. Justice.

It wasn't Barry who *injected* something into his stomach.

It wasn't Batman who ordered Robin and Artemis out.

It wasn't really Robin or Artemis.

It wasn't *real*. 

None of it was real.

Wally was sobbing.

He was still here. He *never* left. 

This wasn't Roy, he wasn't in the infirmary-- it was just exact replicas. 

They tricked him again.

Wally wanted to *die*. 

He couldn't still be here. He had to get out.

Pain washed over him again making his body jerk to the side.

He didn't care how weak he looked, he cried and cried and cried.

He didn't want to stay here. *Couldn't* stay here.

He just wanted to go home. No. Not home. Would he be able to trust home? No. Never. And he didn't want Roy. Not even the real one. He didn't want anyone who looked, sounded, or acted like his friends. 

He was breaking. They were breaking him.

"Alright." came not-Batman's voice from somewhere above Wally. "We have the data on what happens when green-cyanide and acid-toxin is in the speedsters system. Knock him out."

Yes. Yes. Please. He just wants to be numb. He doesn't want to think, he doesn't want to feel.

 

He just wants to be numb for awhile.

 

\---

 

Saturday, February 27th: Day Eight since Capture

 

He's figured out how to stay numb.

 

It started with daydreaming. Then his thoughts started to race, and heavy depression sank into him, and then...

Nothing.

He was just...gone.

He thought he must have been sleeping...but then, when he came back from 'There'...there were bruises covering his body.

If they came to beat him...why hadn't he woken up?

He figured 'There' was a place inside his mind, a safe place for himself. 

And he knew it was dangerous. And that sometimes, people go 'There' and they don't come back...but it's nice to just...shut down his thoughts. 

He just wants to shut down. Not think. 

And it's so nice, to just be numb for a little bit. 

He doesn't know how long he was 'There' for, but it must not have been so long. Because the first time, he comes back from the blackness, and not-Artemis and not-M'gann are still there. Still there hurting him with names and punches. 

He freaks out.

Because people go in, but they don't always come back.

He promises himself he won't do it again.  He'll stay coherent. 

But then...

When not-Batman or not-Flash don't drug him up enough before cutting him open...

He just wants to be numb.

And he knows! He KNOWS how dangerous it is! 

That he can't come back on his own. That he has no concept of *time* when he's 'There'. That he could come back minutes or days later.

But...it's so nice to escape.

Escaping. Just...leaving reality...

He doesn't have to feel the pain from the experiments.

He doesn't have to feel the pain of people with his friends faces hurting him.

He doesn't even have to feel any of the emotional pain that the clones cause.

He just wants to be numb for a little while.

 

\---

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will just have you know, I had writen the second fake rescue... But then IT GOT DELETED AND I COULDN'T RECOVER IT! I was so upset! But I think (hope) its as good as it was the first time XD
> 
> ~
> 
> Things that have happened:
> 
>  
> 
> February 19th: Wally Captured
> 
> February 20th: Experiments Begin
> 
> February 21st: Nothing Major
> 
> February 22nd: First Fake Rescue
> 
> February 23rd: Nothing Major
> 
> February 24th: Conner beats the shit out of Wally
> 
> February 25th: Nothing Major
> 
> February 26th: Second Fake Rescue
> 
> February 27th: Wallys starts to hide away in his mind (M'gann and Artemis beat Wally)
> 
> February 28th: Wally finds out there is a Hal and Oliver clone 
> 
> February 29th: Nothing Major
> 
> March 1st: Barry Clone starts to experiment on Wally also
> 
> March 2nd: M'gann teases Wally with cookies
> 
> March 3rd: Half assed fake rescue with  
> Superman, Hawkwoman, and Wonder Woman
> 
> March 4th and 5th: Waterboarding
> 
> ~ 
> 
> And I hoped you liked the teaser ending...like...the whole everyone thinks that Wally will be able to be helped quickly...but now you guys know just how hard its really going to be... :)
> 
> Until next time~


	5. What Happened to Wally Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I split the last chapter up b/c it was long, sorry if you thought it was an update

Sunday, February 28th: Day Nine since Capture

They've made a clone of Hal.

Which sucks.

Because now Wally couldn't dream about Hal rescuing him.

His sweet dreams about his friends and Uncle Barry were already ruined.

Because everytime he has a dream where he's rescued, one of his friends turns on him causing him to wake up in a cold sweat, trembling.

But he could still imagine his Uncle Green Lantern saving him...

Until now.

His large fist drove into his side cracking ribs and making Wally cry out.

He hated it when they didn't give him ability to not cry.

They always pushed him over his limit.

They *always* pushed him past what he could mentally handle.

And he can't...he *can't* do it.

He apologises in his head over and over to his real friends, his real Uncle Barry, and now his real Uncle Hal that he won't go 'There'.

But he can't stay 'Here' either.

 

\---

 

Monday, February 29th: Day Ten since Capture

~Wally's still breaking and the clones are still beating and the experiments are still happening, carry on~

 

\---

 

Tuesday, March 1st: Day Eleven since Capture

The not-Flash has started to participate in the experiments.

And Wally thinks he's going insane.

Is there any other word for this feeling?

His mind was cracking...and soon it was going to shatter...and will he be able to pick up the pieces?

He cries out when a knife (his Uncles face, his Uncles FACE) cut into his sternum.

He can't think!

And he *knows* that it's not his Uncle. And that his Uncle would never hurt him. Would never hurt him.

His body spasmed when his skin was peeled back.

But his nightmares and his reality were made up of his Uncles face...

 

...so why not be numb...where his Uncle can't find him?

 

\---

 

Wednesday, March 2nd: Day Twelve since Capture

Not-M'gann

"Please look up." said the not-M'gann softly.

And Wally tried not to, he really did...but the not-M'gann had her *voice*.

She looked and sounded just like his friend, and he could never stand to be the reason her pretty green eyes were downcast or if he was the reason her voice had the confidence taken out of it.

And he also looked up because...because...well he remembered the LAST time he had disobeyed an order from his captors. It was better to be submissive in the long run.

So he looked up, into the *wrong* green eyes, the *wrong* green skin, with the *wrong* red hair. And he could feel just a little bit more of his sanity slip away (how did he even have any left would forever be the question)...

As it did everytime he looked at his not-friends.

Not-M'gann had a cookie sheet filled with cookies that looked delicious- if a bit burnt.

But he knew better than to take them. They were probably going to eat them in front of him, like they did with all good food, before giving him scraps and laughing.

(Laughing. Always laughing. With *their* voices. How could he love a sound and hate it just as much?)

The M'gann clone pushed them towards him teasingly.

"Come on, you're allowed. We may have *forgot* to feed you the past two days but I asure you we're very, very sorry." She smiled (so wrong, so wrong) "Go on."

And he knew it was going to be a mean trick, that they were going to get his hopes up again only to send them crashing down on him like they had been doing again, and again, and *again*.

But he just wanted to get the ball rolling because dragging it out hurt almost as much as much as getting his hope back only to be deafeated time and time again. Almost.

So he tentatively reached his hand out. And...oh...he was right, she suddenly wrenched them out of his reach (much to the amusment to the Roy and Hal clone) his stomach whined in protest but Wally didn't show any outside emotion. He was used to it unfortunately.

Towards the beginning he might have whispered 'why? Why do this when you're already *experimenting* on me?' but he knew better than to ask stupid questions like that now. He would just get laughed at and he didn't like to hear the clones laugh at him with HIS friends laugh.

Not-M'gann reached for one of her cookies and ate it with relish. Her face turned to one of pure bliss as she ate it with gusto.

Wally tried not to let it get to him, they had done this before with all kinds of his favorite food. But for some reason, he was really craving some of Meg's cookies which made him homesick which made him sad. And now he was just a mess of emotion and he didn't like it.

After not-Hal and not-Roy had also eaten cookies in front of him they dropped the usual gray stuff down on the floor.

"Whoops," not-Roy sneered as it fell off the tray and onto the ground, spilling the 'food' onto the dirty dungeon floor. "Looks like you're going to have to eat it off the floor." he laughed that nasty laugh again causing him to flinch (how was he going to hear his friends laughter without waiting for the pain ever again?). They left leaving Wally and his gray goop alone.

He didn't care that there was a camera watching him for the clones entertainment, he ate it anyway.

 

\---

 

Thursday, March 3rd: Day Thirteen since Capture

When Wally is on the table... He sees something new.

Well...not really.

He kind of sees some blue bleary thing...some brown and peach thing...something blue and red again but that one was different.

He's a bit too drugged to see real shapes or anything special.

He does feel something rub his head, like a petting hand...and he does vaguely feel something stroke his cheek...

And he suddenly feels weightless, like someone picking him up.

His right side felt warm...right someone cradling him to their chest.

Then...he REALLY feels weightless, which startles him.

"...'s okay...lash...got...u..out"

Everything's garbeled. A deep voice fading in and out.

"...'re safe..."

That word he recognises. And his immediate emotion is: fear.

Because safe doesn't mean safe.

-

When he wakes up, he's in the Watchtower.

But he's not happy.

When he wakes up, he's looking at Auntie Shay and Aunt Di.

But he's not happy.

When he wakes up, Superman, the symbol of freedom and justice, is there.

But he's not happy.

No. He won't allow himself to be happy.

He can't.

Because happiness, and hope, and joy...they all turn to depression in the end.

And hasn't he had enough?

Can't he just die already?

Sure...he always wanted a hero's death...but anything would be better then the experiments.

Especially when the damn clones keep trying to rip his sanity into tiny shreds.

He sat quietly and without feeling as 'Auntie Shay' hugged him, her wings almost wrapping around him during the warm embrace.

He didn't flinch or move when 'Aunt Di' pulled him into a crushing hug.

He didn't react when 'Superman' patted his shoulder saying something like "You alright son." or something like that.

After what felt like hours of him hovering between 'Here' and 'There' Superman finally sighed.

"He's not falling for it this time."

And this time, Wally barley felt the pain of defeat and hopelessness because he never let himself hope in the first place.

He was beat...again.

By his wonderful leaguer Aunts and the face of Justice itself...

And with that, even more of Wallace Rudolph West's sanity flew away.

 

\---

Friday, March 4th: Day Fourteen since Capture

Wally had not seen the Kaldur clone since the first day he was kidnapped. But suddenly he wished he was with someone else. He was silent, which was nice. He didn't need anymore confusing or conflicting thoughts about his friends and his not-friends and his fragile sanity.

And he didn't want to be near the Uncle Barry clone that tied him to the tables or the Auntie Shay clone who poked him with needles filled with painful chemicals.

But the not-Kaldur was also new, and new here was painful. (it was all painful, but that didn't mean he wanted more)

The Kaldur clone led him to a room with a rickety table and two buckets full of water. Wally froze, not liking this at all. But the Kaldur clone pushed him forward, causing him to stumble and nearly fall.

He caught himself on the table but barley got his footing before not-Kaldur grabbed his hair tightly in his fist and shoved his head into an ice cold bucket, Wally gapsed before sputtering and chocking. The ice cold water filled his lungs making him cough and struggle but the strong hands held him there until he felt lightheaded before they finally wrenched upwards allowing him sweet oxygen, he coughed and gasped in only for a rattling sound to replace normal breathing sounds.

He tried to cough up the water only to be dunked under a scalding hot bucket. He could feel his skin actually burning to where if he was held under for too long he would get blisters on his face. Oh and another problem...he still couldn't breath!

He was thrashing again trying to get out of the boiling water but was kept under for a few more seconds before not-Kaldur yanked his hair back up letting the coolness of the room hit him in the face he gasped only being allowed a small cough and a bit of oxygen before being pushed back down into freezing bucket.

The waterboarding went on for what seemed like hours before not-Kaldur finally yanked him out and let him fall to the ground. He fell onto his hands and knees hacking and coughing up as much water as he could while also trying to *breath*. When he finally got enough in his lungs his arms gave out causing him to fall onto the ground on his chest (also making him cough again).

When he felt like he could breath again not-Kaldur kicked him in the ribs slightly to get him to roll over. He coughed again, ribs stinging.

Not-Kaldur sneered at him. "See you tomorrow." Sending cold dread racing through his body. Again?! Nonononono...

Not again. Not again. Not again.

 

\--

 

Saturday, March Fifth: Day Fifteen since Capture

~not-Kaldur waterboarding Wally again, carry on~

\---

 

Friday, March 13th: Day Two since Rescue

Late Afternoon, the Watchtower

All leaguers, Red Arrow, and the Young Justice team

((the team has been told Dick's identity btw))

...

"On February 19th, three weeks ago, Kid Flash or Wally West was captured by Cadmus." was Batmans introduction into the meeting.

 

To be continued~~


	6. Mandatory Meeting

Sunday, March 13th: Day Two since Rescue

 

Late Afternoon, the Watchtower

 

All leaguers, Red Arrow, and the Young Justice team

((the team has been told Dick's identity btw)) 

...

"On February 19th, three weeks ago, Kid Flash or Wally West was captured by Cadmus." was Batmans introduction into the meeting.

Many people gasped, while Dinahs and Roy's face contorted in rage. 

Roy reached behind him, ready to grab his bow, only to remember that all three archers had their bows and arrows confiscated before entering the meeting room. 

His fist curled and he looked at Oliver with rage in his eyes.

"Why. Didn't. You. Tell. Me?" he hissed.

Oliver flinched under both Dinahs and Roys glares.

"It was...classified?" he tried, hoping that they would let it slide (wishful thinking, he knew).

But, of course, that didn't make them less angry at him at all. It actually made them more mad, to be honest.

Batman interrupted whatever Roy was going to say (yell) next. 

"He was rescued yesterday."

More people frowned, not knowing how to react to this statement.

On one hand: three weeks was a LONG time. And the longer one was kidnapped, the more likely they were to be broken...

But on the other hand: it wasn't like Batman was telling them this now because he was STILL out there...so...at least he was rescued?

"Who was informed of this at the beginning?" Hawkman asked, wings ruffleing. He wasn't as close to the young speedster as his wife, but he knew that she adored him, so he would hate to see him hurt.

"And why wasn't anyone else told?" Hawkwoman chimed in, clearly angry that she wasn't one of the first informed.

"Kid Flashes team, the Flash, Hal Jordon, and Green Arrow were all aware of the kidnapping, because the team were the ones to call him in missing in the first place-- so keeping it a secret from them would have been impossible. The Flash because they are family. Hal Jordon and Green Arrow because they were in the room with Flash when he was notified; and Hal used his ring to help with the search, and Green Arrow used his connections. Both of them gave us the lead that saved Kid Flash in the first place."

...it made sense. 

Most of them thought begrudgingly.

Except for Roy, who was glaring daggers at Dick, mad that his youngest bro didn't bother to fill him in.

"What is the damage?" Dinah asked through gritted teeth.

"Wait." Orin intterupted, before Batman could speak, "Before you answer that, should we consider having the children leave before they hear something...bad?"

All the sidekicks in the room slowly turned to glare daggers at the man, looking ready to leap from their spots and take down the hero.

Batman (and the other heros with sidekicks) looked like they were repeating 'they can't know, don't judge too harshly, they don't know' over and over in their minds.

Batman shook his head. 

"I believe they are mature enough to know about what happened to their friend --about what could have happened to any of them, since they all choose to share the same risk." 

He saw many heros in the room frown in disapproval, making his eyes narrow. Their ignorance on the matter of teen heros was annoying at least. But...none of them spoke out their thoughts (since they didn't personally have a sidekick) which was good.

Batman continued, "And since they will be a vital part of Kid Flashes recovery, they should know the full extent of the damage."

He turned to the screen, 

"Cadmus, working with Lex Luthor, decided to unlock something called the 'speed force', the source of speedsters powers."

He showed the complicated formulas and diagrams that they had stolen from the laboratories. (Even though he knew most wouldn't get them)

But the pictures of Kid Flash on the medical table, eyes glazed over, gas mask on face, and chest cut open was something that they all deffinatly understood.

Wonder Woman let out a yell that only an amazon princess could, pounding a fist into the table. (Shayera seemed to share her opinion, but, thankfully, she wasn't hitting anything. Yet.)

Dinah's eyes seemed cold and impersonal, but only to those who didn't know her. In reality, her eyes just seemed distant because she was holding back many emotions.

Batman kept flipping through the pictures: science equations, then picture of Wally, in what looked like a giant test tube, filled with purple/brown goo. Science mumbo jumbo, then a picture of Wally with an inhibitor collar on, being electrocuted over and over again. More science essay that only a few understood...then a picture of Wally again.

He kept flipping between these two themes, making everyone tense with worry.

"Lex Luthor created realistic clones of Artemis, Ms Martian, Kaldur'am, Superboy, Red Arrow, Robin, Flash, Green Arrow & Lantern, Hawkwoman, Wonder Woman, Superman, and I. This is how Wallace was captured in the first place; the clones lured him to their base before trapping him there." 

He brought up the pictures of the clones, the mugshots that had been taken as soon as they had them in custody. 

More people gapsed and frowned again.

Shayera brought her mace down onto the floor, Diana punched the table again-- making it callapse through the floor, Hawkman pounds a fists into the wall so hard it dents violently.

Other superheroes also react in similar fashion, making the meeting room look like a disaster.

Superman was frowning, and poping his knuckles repeatedly (but had yet to hit something).

Batman waited for them to get a grip, before continuing.

"I was able to recover the footage and it seems Wally figured out that they weren't real pretty quickly, but lots of damage is still there." 

Most tuned Batman out as soon as he said 'Wally figured it out', thinking that there was no way Wally could be broken if he knew that they weren't real.

Oh how wrong they were.

"Why me too? I am not particularity close to Kid Flash." Superman asked, not understanding.

"It could be that Luthor did it just out of spite, or to trick Wally into believing he was rescued, or a combination of both."

Superman nodded.

"Umm, 'tricked'?" Fire asked from the corner of the room.

"The imposters tricked Wal- Kid Flash into believing he was rescued twice and tried a third time." More people gasped, including the Young Justice team.

"His mental statis...is not good. He is unresponsive for the most part and only speaks when especially frightened. He has only spoken seven words since rescue."

Murmurs of discomfort buzzed about the room like flies.

It was no secret that Wally West aka Kid Flash was a talker. EVERYBODY knew it. Whether from experience or not. 

It was, honestly, getting him to shut up that was the trick.

Most of them had a memory of the speedsters never-ending verbal spill, most of them fond...some of them annoyed. 

But...now...the idea of Kid Flash only saying seven measley words was...was unsettling.

Unnatural, peculiar, unorthodox: Wally West was NOT quiet. 

Wonder Woman frowned, "What has the boy said? Anything promising?"

"He has said, 'No. Please no. Not the water again.' That is all." Batman said monotonously.

But Robin couldn't help but hear Wally's more frightened version in his head. 

His wide, haunted eyes and trembling form.

Batman turned back to the mugshots, "The clones are deteriorating, and only know what they're programmed with. To break Kid Flash."

More people frowned and murmured amongst themselves, not liking where this was going.

"From the limited time that we've had Kid Flash back with us, it would appear...as if they've succeded."

More people gripped their hands into fists but (thankfully) held in their anger to this statement.

"I am, of course, going to be Kid Flashes counsellor. So it would be wise to not say *assuming* comments like that Batman."  
Black Canary's eyes were still smouldering with anger at not being told in the first place. But now they were narrowed, as if challenging The Batman. Which, she kinda was.

Batmans jaw twitched, telling Robin that he wasn't mad at being called out but his respect for Black Canary was growing larger. 

Everybody looked between them, waiting for the fight. For the drama.

"Of course Black Canary. I didn't mean to...overstep... You are more educated in psychology and how the brain works than I."

Everyone shifted, nervous of what the lack of fight meant.

Black Canary nodded once, and Batman turned around flipping to the next slide, capturing everyones attention again.

Out of the corner of his eye, Robin could see Black Canary touch Flashes arm lightly, to show support.

A video showed up on the screen, what was on it made Robin want to squirm in discomfort.

It was the video footage from last night. 

Of course Batman was going to show it, it had Wally's reaction to the medlab on it...

But it also had all of the teams disobedience on it as well. Which didn't really look good when many of the leaguers disagreed with them being there in the first place. And now they were going to be showed their ability to follow instructions.

Thankfully, no one commented on Robin obviously sneaking into the infirmary.

(but that didn't mean he couldn't feel there judgement)

Batman fast forwarded the video to the part when Wally woke up. 

Some people made a strangled sound at how Wally *looked*. 

Sure, they knew he was captured. They knew what happened to someone gone that long. They knew that Batman said he thinks Wallys broken.

But there was a difference between knowing...and seeing.

Wally's eyes fluttered open and looked around blearily.

He was out of it and slower. And had to blink a few times to focus.

Robin watched Black Canary lean forward with interest.

Roy was also frowning, not liking how...*slow* Wally was.

Wally sat up, the blanket falling down to his waist revealing the bangages on his chest and bruises on his shoulders. Making people flinch back.

He looked down at his lap noticing the blanket, and frowned. Probably having to sleep on a cell floor for the whole time.

They watched as Wally looked to his left, saw the medlab doors and froze in fear.

More people frowned and buzzed with confusion.

"Did the Cadmus lab have a lab similar to Mt. Justices?" Ice asked.

Batman held up a hand, as if to say wait.

That meant the answer was complicated.

Robin shifted nervously, how complicated was it? Wasn't this whole situation complicated enough?

Wally was still staring at the doors in fear, before he clenched his hands finally feeling a presence there.

He tensed, slowly turning his head to his hand, as if afriad to meet whoever was with him all at once.

He kept his eyes on their hands, already knowing who it was, not needing to raise his head higher.

He as trembling in pure *terror*.

Captain Atom hummed. "They made him fear his friends, this reaction is expected...but could you not convince him?" he asked turning to Robin.

He shook his head, but didn't explain further.

Wally flinched suddenly, as if struck.

"Wally," Robin, or rather, Dick Grayson whispered soothinly. 

But Wally flinched again, Dick pressed on,  
"Walls, it's really me. Okay? We got you out. You're at Mt. Justice Wally."

That had the opposite effect people expected or really...wanted.

Now Wally was shaking and taking deep shuddering breaths.

Soon he calmed down until he wasn't shaking anymore, but his shoulders were still hunched, as if trying to make himself smaller and he was still tense. And he still hadn't looked up.

"I forgot about the 'fake rescues' you mentioned at the beginning." Dinah commented, more to herself continuing to scrutinise every detail.

Others nodded with shocked awe. Most had forgotten. Making the them more horrified at the idea of someone playing with this poor boys emotions.

"Ya, I'm here." Robin said suddenly, lowly putting his sunglasses on for his secret identities sake. 

Wally didn't outwordly show sign of hearing him, but they doubted he tuned him out. 

Silence on Robins end before, 

"He's already awake."

Silence again.

And then, "Be careful, he's freaked out." just before Artemis stepped into the room with her mask down.

At the sound of the door Wally tensed, but still didn't look up, or remove his hand from Robin's. As if fearful of what he would do.

She approched slowly and cautiously, not wanting to scare the speedster.

"Wally?" she asked sitting in a chair next to the bed. She looked at Robin for hints, but the boy could only shrug is shoulders so she tried again. "Baywatch?"

"Is that some kind of 'nick name' you all call him?" Martian Manhunter asked.

"Just me." Artemis said quietly. The Martian nodded not really understanding how much that nickname meant to her.

The harmless nickname however, got a reaction from Wally.

He flinched away from her as if struck and tried to shrink in on himself even more.

"He's so...skinny." Roy suddenly whispered to himself. Like he couldn't believe it. The most underfed he'd ever personally seen Wally was when he skipped lunch (and a snack) once running to Star. He was nearly 'dead on his feet' but grinning and already talking about all of the things they were going to do that night. Roy had let a smile escape him and pulled Wally into his kitchen practically throwing Wally into his fridge.

Wally wasn't...he wasn't supposed to be like this...

This wasn't supposed to happen.

The doors slid open once again. This time with Miss Martian floating towards the three teens.

Miss Martian had a tray in her hands, and that had Robin and Artemis smiling. 

"Wally? Wally look up please." M'gann asked, her smile falling a little when she saw how tense he was in their presence.

Wally tentatively looked up looking more liked he was forced than he actually wanted to.

His face was gaunt and just as skinny as the rest of him. His lips were chapped and unhealthy. He had deep bags under his eyes like he hadn't slept well in days or weeks.

People gasped, and Roy leaned forward further, because his *eyes*.

They were no longer filled with life or confidence or joy. They were dull green/gray-- unrecognizable.

They were empty, and depressed, and- and ...broken.

They were also wide with fear as they looked at Miss Martian, as if waiting for the blow.

She recovered after a moment and slowly brought the tray up into his eye sight.

"I- I baked you some cookies Wally." she offered.

His eyes found the cookies and for a moment, something sparked in his eyes...it wasn't memory, but instead *intrest*. Then they dulled again and he seemed to deflate. He didn't make any moves for them and instead looked at M'gann for an explanation. 

Roy cocked his head. Wally...Wally never turned down food...

They hurt him! They *hurt* him! And he was not okay!

"Wally," Miss Martian said softly, "you can have them, I promise."

Wally just looked at her before tentatively reaching a boney hand out. He hovered over the first one, looking back up with a small crease in his brow as if wondering how he got so close.

"They have probably taken food from him." Diana commented, for those that were that were still confused at Wally's reaction.

He finally took it and just held it in his hand, staring at it with the same crease in his brow.

He lifted it into his mouth and took the tinest bite, only getting crumbs. 

Roy growled. Wally's *fearing* good food. Dinah tore her eyes from the screen to rest a hand on Roy's shoulder. 

To prove that the cookies were safe, Robin reached his other hand over and took one for himself. He took a bite, used to the burntness of them and grinned at M'gann.

"These are great, right Walls?" He asked.

He didn't say anything, still giving the cookie in his hand a strange look.

He looked up, meeting M'gann's eyes before dropping back onto his lap. He frowned suddenly.

What ever he was going to say was cut off when Superboy entered the room with a neutal expression. Wally checked to see who it was before flinching at seeing Conner.

Black Canary hummed with interest.

Superboy sat next to M'gann and Artemis giving Wally one of his rare smiles.

Wally flinched again, eyes dropping to his lap and the half eaten cookie that was there.

He didn't make a sound, instead he just sat there tense and quiet.

 

Then Kaldur walked in.

Wally saw him and his eyes widened in fear.

"No," he whispered.

They all paused, even Kaldur. And the leaguers jumped slightly.

It was the first thing Wally had said. And it was 'no' with *fear* in his voice and in his eyes and in his body. 

Wally suddenly seemed overwhelmed with the amount of people in the room and suddenly twisted his hands in the blankets and sheets backing up into the headboard.

He pulled his knees to his chest trying to put as much distance between him and them as he could.

Kaldur walked forward very very slowly.

"Wally, I know you might have trouble believing this, but we're really your friends. Remember for my birthday two months back you got me a computer and showed me how to work it? And we had vanilla cake and chocolate ice cream?"

Many leaned forward, Aqualad was giving good reasons to believe that they were real, and yet, Wally was no longer listening.

He had his eyes squeezed shut and his hands pressed tightly over his ears rocking back and forth.

When Kaldur got to the edge of the bed Wally looked up suddenly, green/gray eyes wide,

"Please no. Not the water again." He said voice terribly scratchy and underused.

Kaldur stopped and stared. 

Seven words.

Batman fast forwarded the video, showing the team leaving and the fact that Wally hadn't moved from his position once. He just slept or stared at the wall.

Barely giving them anytime to process he stood back in front of them.

"You may have noticed the bandages. While we don't know exactly all the injuries inflicted upon Kid Flash, here are the things that we do know..."

Batman started listing injuries that they had found while Roy Harper's thoughts started trailing off. 

Three weeks.

His little brothers been gone for three weeks.

He felt white hot anger well up in him, coursing through his veins, when he thought about all that could have happened to him to make him like THAT.

Someone with his *face*. 

What if he had the same reaction to him? What if Wally starts crying, or yelling, or hyperventilating in fear all because Roy just walked into the room? What was he going to do? Was it okay to hug him yet? Because, while Roy would never openly admit it, he really like hugs from his bros. Dick didn't hug often, but when he did they were tight and nice and full of adoration. They were nice because they were given in controled amounts only to those really close to him.

Wally on the other hand, couldn't stop hugging. It had...really freaked Roy and Dick both out when they first met him. 

(Roy was very anti-hug at the time)

But Wally didn't know anything about personal personal space or boundaries. He was full of love and had the need to be loved and liked to show it in big gestures. 

And...Roy would be a giant lier if he said he didn't like them.

But what if Wally was so broken that he couldn't hug anymore?! What if even *when* he got better he only gave them out in controled amounts?! 

What if Roy had to become a hugger and make the first move when hugging from now on?!?!?!

"...arrows on the shoulders,--"

"Wait?! What?!" Oliver interrupted before Artemis or Roy could.

"They shot him? With arrows?" Oliver asked, just wanting to be clear. 

Batman gave a nod and pointed to the screen. 

A picture of unconscious Wally after rescue showed up. It was zoomed shoulders up.

They could see (just cleaned) three nasty holes in his right shoulder. Not hitting any thing vital (hopefully) but definitely painful looking. 

"One hole for each archer." Batman said making Oliver growl and Artemis yell something about murder and pound her fist on the table in anger.

Roy was...oddly quiet. 

He was steaming. No. Boiling mad.

He didn't care WHAT the league said. He was beating his clone to a pulp. Its not like he's not going to live anyway. And he has *his* own face...so it's not like it'll 'haunt him for life' or some shit like that.

Dinah squeezed his shoulder as if she knew exactly what he was thinking. Or maybe she didn't and was just freaked out by his lack of reaction.

He ignored her, not trusting himself to be nice or to smile convincingly. And instead turned his attention back to Batman.

"I have tried to interrogate the clones, but they don't care about threats or pain because they know they are deteriorating. They only know what they're programmed with; and that is to break Kid Flash. The Batman and Flash clone are programmed with medical knowledge so they could experiment on Kid Flash. The rest of the clones besides Robin don't seem capable of talking. Probably not capable of speech if captured."

They nodded...then frowned.

"Why is the Robin capable of speech while the others are not?" Hawkman asked.

"Batman, Flash and Robin are capable." he corrected. "And I thinks it's because they have more...updates...than the others. I imagine if Luthor had had more time, he would have updated them all."

They nodded and were silent as Batman pulled up the video for the interrogations of the Flash, Batman, and Robin clone.

He hesitated.

"The clones programming is to break Kid Flash, but an 'add on' to the Robin clones is to break *anyone* who is an enemy. Like how an 'add on' to the Flash and Batman clones is medical knowledge."

They nodded in understanding wishing he would get on with it and just rip off the bandage already.

"I also personally (but on a much lower level) understand Wally's turmoil. To be honest, talking to the Robin clone made Barry and I want to leap across the table and shut him up. But...he looks like my son. This created very...conflicting feelings. And I was only talking to one clone for an hour. Not 13 clones for three weeks."

Flash nodded his head in agreement, looking tired.

They mulled this over. Robin (or anyone for that matter) never REALLY thought through what Wally must have gone through. Hating his captors but liking his friends/family...but they also looked the same.

Batman played the video.

First it was the Batman clone, who said nothing during the entire interrogation. Then the Flash clone, who also just sat in stoney silence. If it weren't for Batman telling them that they could actually physically talk, they would have thought they couldn't. 

Then came the Robin clone. 

Suddenly Robin (the real one) felt a forgien presence in his mind and the cool voice of Martian Manhunter said,

" 'Robin, your mentor would like you to leave.' "

Robin frowned. 'Heck no!' he thought (to himself not to MM) He wasn't going to leave! This was mandatory meeting for them ALL, to better understand Wally's experience. He wasn't going to leave! Not as Wally's best friend, or his boyfriend.

He ignored the pointed glares from Batman and continued to watch the screen.

His clone was grinning broadly despite looking sickly and pale...and chained to the desk.

Robin grit his teeth together. He should not be happy. And he should definitely not look PROUD of his actions! 

"You know? It's kind of sad that you stopped us. We had some big plans. Buuuut...I guess it's better than say...last week." he took the two heros silence for interest and leaned forward, making the heros in the room tense. "Better now than last week...because then I wouldn't have been able to open the gingers pretty little legs."

And Richard John Grayson-Wayne, felt his heart stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM!
> 
> Dramatic reveal! Plus cliffhanger. Plus horrifying possibilities. 
> 
> Aren't I just terrible?
> 
> I'll try and update soon so you're not freaking out for long or anything!
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time~


	7. Mandatory Meeting Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're learning about what happened to Wally

Sunday, March 13th: Day Two since Rescue

 

The Robin clone was grinning broadly despite looking sickly and pale...and chained to the desk.

Robin grit his teeth together. He should not be happy. And he should definitely not look PROUD of his actions!

"You know? It's kind of sad that you stopped us. We had some big plans. Buuuut...I guess it's better than say...last week." he took the two heros silence for interest and leaned forward, making the heros in the room tense. 

 

"Better now than last week...because then I wouldn't have been able to open the gingers pretty little legs."

 

And Richard John Grayson-Wayne, felt his heart stop.

 

That couldn't mean what it sounded like it meant...right? 

He was lying. He was lying! 

He would not- he couldn't- he wouldn't- not Wally!

Not his Wally!

He was hardly aware of the gasps of horror that sounded through the room, seeming to take the oxygen right out of it.  

Or maybe Dick just couldn't breath. 

Both seemed possible.

His head was pounding, like Hawkwoman gave it the same treatment she was giving to the wall of the Watchtower.

Hawkman suddenly yanked her mace away from her to save the Watchtower, which made her make a jump for him. (but would never seriously hurt him)

Roy punched the wall so hard a dent was left in the metal, leaving his hand a broken mess. 

Superman seemed frozen in shock; arms at his side, and standing limp. 

Oliver and Artemis immediately reached for their bows, ready to knock a bitch out only to be upset that they weren't there.

M'gann and Conner looked confused, not understanding why everyone was so upset.

Kaldur suddenly shouted something atlantian that had Aquamans head whipping around to stare at him with surprise.

But Robin wasn't paying attention to any of them. 

He felt like he was under water. Everything was kind of warrbled and distorted.

And Dick found himself imagining a better time. The day he worked up the nerve to talk to tell KF that he had a crush on him.

 

' "Hey KF?" Robin, as Dick Grayson, said catching Wally's attention from the chemistry book he was reading.

Said ginger looked up from his desk, looking--for just a moment-- like a deer in headlights before a grin as bright as fireworks spread across his face. 

Dick felt butterflies flutter in his stomach and his knees go weak at that smile.

He couldn't stop himself from smiling back even if he tried.

The next moment Dick felt himself be picked up at superspeed at in the next second he was sitting on the speedsters bed with the redhead sitting across from him giving him his undivided attention. But Dick knew that it wouldn't last forever; the speedster had the attention span of a fly. Any second now he was going to run out of patience and wiggle around until he just up and ran.

 

"Whats up Dickie-bird?" he asked and-- oh!-- he was right, the speedster was wiggling around in anticipation, mind about to shift gears. He might as well get on with it.

Dick took a deep breath, suddenly wishing he had his sunglasses on.

He was caught off guard by Wally's soft hands on either side of his face.

"What's wrong Dick?" he asked, frowning with concern.

Dick almost smacked Wally's hands away but then remembered that time moved differently for him. For Wally, Dicks slight hesitation was an eternity of worrying silence. 

He tried to smile but it felt a little forced. 

It wasn't that he didn't like spending time with Wally...it fact just the opposite. He liked spending time with Wally TOO MUCH to be considered 'normal' bro behavior...

...in fact, he might even like-like the guy... 

Before he could back out of anything, warm lips were pressed chastley against his own.

Wally suddenly pulled back, vibrant apple green eyes wide and unsure.

Dick smiled shyly and pressed his cool lips back against those unnaturally warm ones.

This.

This...this was a good first kiss... '

 

That was a few months ago.

And they've gone out a lot, and their friends and families know about their relationships, and oh ya, they've kissed...alot. Heated makeouts sure! But nothing ever...below the belt. 

And the fact that some clone-- some not-him!-- ruined everything they've every done, everything they've built up, everything the might have done was angering!

How dare he! How dare he touch his boyfriend that way!

He felt lightheaded and weak when he thought about Wally looking at his hand, knowing who it was and trembling in fear.

He suddenly came to the horrifying conclusion that... Wally had been raped.

Raped.

There was no other word to come up with other than this one. This terrible, horrible one.

And Dick didn't want to believe it. Not Wally. Not his Wally. Not sweet, dorky, kind Wally.

No. He was lying! He was just trying to get under everyones skin!

"Is this true?!" Roy asked Batman.

"We...can't tell. His accelerating healing makes it impossible to tell."

Robin gasped for breath, trying to slow his mind.

Batman on screen looked unphased, he continued the questioning like Robin clone hadn't spoken.

"What was--"

"Did you know he *vibrates*?"

"Why have--"

"And because of his healing, he goes back to being as tight as a virgin."

"Who--"

"And those legs! I mean, I'm not attracted to anything but if I had to choose someone, it'd probably be him."

"When are--"

"What's better than his body is probably his *screams*."

Barry on screen suddenly stalked forward like he was going to punch him, before Batman pulled him out of the room.

"Even though the Robin clone is the only one that bothers talking, you saw that all he makes are vulgar comments."

Batman said switching the video off.

Dick stood up, walking out of the meeting room despite the looks thrown his way.

How were they going to help Wally? 

Dick Grayson had never been a pessimist, but he couldn't help but see only gray.

How would Wally even be able to look at him without seeing the *same face* that raped him?

\---

 

Sunday, March 13th: Day Two since Rescue

Hours later, Robin is called back into the room. 

They have footage of the things done to him.

But, not of the week before rescue.

Nothing of Wally and Clone Robin together.

: Wally waking up to a dark and dirty cell with no windows and a simple camera in the upper right hand corner.

The door was wide but new so there weren't any cracks or rust to exploit. :

They watched him search for weaknesses. 

: He tries to escape several times, but he can't vibrate his molecules and the space is too small to get enough running space to knock the door down. :

They watch with baited breath when Clone Robin brought him 'food'. It was gray, and looked like clay. 

M'gann made a sad sound at the food that was given to him. Almost making Artemis yell at her friend. Because 'there are worse things than bad food!' but she forced it back. Burning the good bridges isn't a good idea.

They wonder what kind of termoil he ia going through. From being tricked, to finding out they were fake.

Then Wally finds out why why he's there, and it's obvious how scared be was. 

'I'm sorry we couldn't get to you in time.' Conner thinks, wishing sorry fixed everything.

The adults in the league...explained...to M'gann and him what the fake Robin meant.

And he did NOT like the implications of it at all.

: Wally was taken to the lab, where the Batman clone operated on him. In the background the team and Roy clone talked like nothing was out of the ordinary. :

They watched Wally grit his teeth in an attempt not to scream, but after a while it became too much for him, and he started to scream.

They flinched, it was...humiliating...to show weakness to the enemy.

The Batman clone had smirked at him and reached over and finally put drugs in his system. It wasn't *enough* but it dulled the pain enough for him to stop screaming in pain.

The clones had also laughed loudly when he was screaming.

: A couple of days later, Wally woke to chaos outside. :

: There were explosions and shouts and Wally's trying to get up but he could hardly feel his legs. He's leaning against the wall when clone Robins voice is right outside the door saying, "Alright, it's this one. Punch it down Supes." :

And he DIDN'T KNOW! He didn't know that they were fake! He thought he was being rescued when it was all just some nasty horrible trick.

: The door suddenly got a fist sized dent in it :

: Wally grinned broadly when Clone Superboy punched the door a second time, making the door fall off it's hinges :

Their chests hurt.

He had no idea what was coming.

: Wally found strength to walk over to meet Clone Superboy, Robin and Kaldur. "

"You guys have no idea how glad I am to see you." Wally grinned and pulled Robin into a hug, making Dick's choke.

Fakefakefake

: Clone Robin *returned* the hug, squeezing Wally tight and whispered "I missed you KF." :

 

: Clone Kaldur stepped forward, and unwrapped the bandages on his chest. He pulled out a first aid kit and rubbed on ointment on his chest. He wrapped his chest in new bandages before putting up the first aid kit. :

"Do you think you can walk Kid Flash or will you need assistance?"

"Or I could carry you." Superboy spoke from a little bit aways. Conner stiffened. He couldn't help it. He did NOT get to do that thank you very much.

: "I think I can walk, thank you." The four of them left the cell with Kaldur was leading the way with Robin beside him and Superboy behind them all. :

Clone Robin suddenly looped his arm with Wally's causing Wally to grin like the sun. And making Dick sick to his stomach.

: Wally was ecstatic, clearly thinking of all the things he wanted to do and emoting all of it. :

: They were crossing the lab and had the exit doors in sight, letting Wally get*so close* to freedom before slamming the doors, revealing Clone Roy causually leaning against the wall. :

"Going somewhere?" he asked. Making Roy grit his teeth together.

: Wally's eye's widened, thinking that a rouge clone escaped :

: He looked at Kaldur, Robin, and Supes waiting for them to spring into action. But was becoming more and more confused by their lack of response. :

And then... They watched him slowly realise what was happening. 

And he looked so *hurt* that their hearts went out to him.

Wally suddenly wrenched his arm away from Fake Robin as the Fake Robin *laughed* at his expression. *Laughed* at his despair.

Wally's head was bowed. And while they couldn't see his face, they knew he was crumbling under the weight of this terrible trick.

And he slowly sank to his knees with depression, head still pointed towards the floor.

: He ignored the Clones yanking him up roughly. :

He didn't *care*. 

: Days later he was eating when the door swung open to reveal Clone Conner standing in the doorway. 

Wally tensed, waiting to be dragged away to the laboratory. :

But he was still coherent.

What did they *do*?

Instead he just shut the door behind him and took wide strides toward Wally, making Conner glare daggers that his clone.

: Wally made a move to stand (because he's a fighter damn it!) but Clone Conner sent a kick to his face, sending him crashing to the ground. :

Conner growled. How dare he? HOW DARE HE?!

No wonder he was freaking afraid of him!

: Wally slurred out "What are you-"

*Smack*

"Why-"

*Kick*

"What-"

*Hit*

And then the Clone was beating him black and blue, never hitting the same spot twice. :

: Wally cried out when not-Conner punched him in his sore chest. 

And once the crys of pain started he couldn't stop them. :

: He was in the fetal position, hands over his head, and back curled to protect his vital organs. :

Tears started to stream down his face silently, making them hurt for their speedster.

It was clear that he was trying to keep it quiet but soon it became to much and he was crying. And then he was sobbing.

And after he sobbed for a while, the clone stopped.

And Wally looked up, through his teary eyes to see Clone Conner staring at him. Just staring.

Black Canary forced herself to continue watching. She needed to know *how* they hurt him.

She leaned forward to grip Conners shoulder. It wasn't just Wally that was hurt.

: He grabbed Wally's wrists and yanked them away from his face. He easily fit both his wrists in his hand. He raised both his wrists above his head and pulled an fist back, landing a bit right on his jaw and lip. Making a nasty purple bruise form and his lip split. :

: Wally choked, before Clone Conner grabbed his ankle yanking him forward so that his head cracked and dragged against the concrete. He winced before looking down to see what Clone Conner was doing. He stood up and brought his foot down on his right leg twice making a sick-

*CRAAAAAAACK* *CRACK*

-sound through the air and making him scream until his throat was raw.

When the intital pain left leaving behind a throbbing sensation in his leg, Wally finally had the courage to look down at it.

It wasn't a clean break at all, and his leg was contorted with a little bit of bone trying to break through the skin.

Wally gagged. 

He heard a sick chuckle and looked up in shock. Clone Conner looked smug and proud of his handy work. Wally just looked at him with wide, teary green eyes. :

They could *see* his eyes glaze over.

He was breaking. And they couldn't do anything.

 

They were helpless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll finish their reactions next chapter :)
> 
> So next 1 or 2 chapters will be them reacting to what happened to Wally
> 
> And then I'll have them try and convince Wally that they're real
> 
> And THEN I'll write what happened to Wally w/ not-Robin
> 
> ;)


	8. Mandatory Meeting Part 3

Sunday, March 13th: Day Two since Rescue

: The clones released an invisible knock out gas into Wally's cell while he was sleeping, making him fall deeper into unconsciousness :

: The Artemis clone and Robin clone walked in, *grinning* at the sight of a vulnerable speedster. :

M'gann wrapped her arms around both Artemis and Dick, trying to make up for the fact that Wally was breaking before their eyes and they didn't know how to help.

They almost pushed the green skin girl away, before seeing Clone-Artemis kick Wally, sending his head down onto  concrete violently. 

Artemis *hated* the idea of the leaguers (that she's been trying to prove herself to) seeing her huddle with her friends like a weak child. 

But she hated watching the heart of the team break even more.

They moved him into *an exact replica* of the Mt. Justice med labs, making many people frown.

"I guess we should assume that the mountain is compromised?" Hawk asked Batman, causing the man to nod.

"As well as the Watchtower. However, we have debugged this room. We will continue to debug the compromised places."

"More?" Wonder Woman asked, surprised.  
"What other places were compromised?" John Stewart asked.

"The Flash's home, Wayne Manor, The Batcave, Queen Mansion, the Fortress of Solitude, Green Arrow's 'Quiver', Hal Jordon's Apartment, Roy Harper's safe house in San Francisco, on top of the Mt. Justice med lab and rooms and the Watchtower."

Everyone gaped at him, 

"You're *kidding* me." Aquaman said, openly surprised. 

Batman shook his head, clearly angry that his home and Cave was just as compromised as Hal's apartment.

They diverted their attention back to the screen.

Luthor was far more of a threat than any of them originally thought.

And now they knew that he was not only willing to subject a teenage boy to horrible experiments, they also knew that he found enjoyment in breaking him.

: After they moved the vulnerable speedster to the fake-medlab, the Clone Artemis and Robin talked with the Batman and Flash clones about the plan. :

M'gann frowned. She didn't like how they just stood around talking about 'what would be *most* damaging for the subject'.

One: 'Subject' should never be used to talk about her friends.

Two: How could they be discussing how to *break* someone like normal people discuss the weather?

: They decided what the plan was, the M'gann, Conner, Kaldur, and Roy clone leaving the room getting in their *places*, leaving the Robin, Artemis, Batman, and Flash clone in the room with Wally, who's head was bleeding slightly from the kick he received earlier :

: Wally groaned, about to wake up, causing the clones faces to morph from sadistic glee to perfectly crafted concern and worry :

: "Wall-man. Come on, wake up, please wake up." The clone said 'worriedly'.

Wally groaned in pain again, opening his eyes, immediately tensing when he saw the familiar sunglasses. :

Dick felt like he got punched in the gut. 

He *knew* -- he KNEW-- how screwed up this situation was! 

But he could still only feel confusion and pain when Wally saw someone that looked like *him* and expected pain.

: Wally's eyes were having trouble focusing on anything, but it was clear that he was wary. :

And they knew WHY he was wary. 

And they KNEW that he shouldn't trust them.

But they hated how the clones lure him into a sense of calm, with words *they* would use just to tear him down and tear down everything they would have said and done.

: Clone Robin was hovering over him clearly 'worried' :

: Clone Robin's hand came up to cup his face causing Wally to flinch back :

Dick nearly whimpered.

: "Wally, you're safe." said Artemis, slowly and carefully, like she was trying to sooth a traumatised teen. "You're at Mt. Justice Wally." she said stepping out of the way, letting Wally see the doors of mt Justices infirmary. :

: Happiness flashed in his eyes. After all, wasn't the medlab great evidence to show him that he was rescued? : 

: "Kids, leave KF alone, Flash and I have to operate." Said Clone Batman :

: Wally turned his head towards the source of the noise, tensing at the word *operate*. :

: Clone Robin and Artemis scowled but left anyway, the doors sliding shut behind them. :

They acted *so much* like them that Wally's friends couldn't help but wonder if Wally would...ever...be okay. 

'Don't think stupid things like that' Artemis thought to herself, 'we can all work past this'.

: "Hey Kiddo, how many fingers am I holding up?" Said the Flash clone, holding up two fingers. His mask was pulled down so he looked like *Barry* :

Sometimes, despite popular belief, the price of being a hero weighed heavily on Barry's.

Because right now, he really wanted to *do* something.

Have a melt down.

*Kill* someone.

Break the laws of reality by going back and time and whisking his nephew away from that awful experience.

: "Fouww?" Wally asked, tilting his head to the side. :

: The clone chuckled, "Alright Kid, thats good enough." And patted Wally's head. :

They watched Wally lean into the touch instinctively, having the uncontrollable erge to be loved after being hurt mentally and physically.

He felt *safe*.

: He was slowy relaxing into the bed, his mind listening to the rational side of him saying 'you can't still be there, you're not kidnapped, you're safe' and it made perfect sense. :

: He frowned a little, doubt starting to swamp his mind. :

: The Barry clone started injecting a vial of green liquid into Wally's stomach. :

: "Uncle Barry, what are you-? Wha-" :

(And Barry's heart *hurt*)

: When Wally saw what he was doing he was immediately on edge. 'Don't trust, don't trust' being repeated over and over in his mind. :

: "Don't worry Kid, it's just to see what they did to you." :

: This caused a flood of emotion to form on his face and in his eyes. He was emotionally vulnerable. He was hurt. He was tired. He was sore. He was confused, and traumatised, and emotionally unstable. He needed to be comforted and healed. *Needed* to. :

And Barry hated watching this because he hated the fact that someone who looked like him sought to destroy all the trust him and Wally had built up. 

: Wally let tears silently stream down his face while the Barry Clone rubbed soothing circles in his hand while he held it. :

: Confusion was still the primary emotion being shown on Wally's face. Scared of hope. And scared of hopelessness. He suddenly wrenched his hand from the clones grasp. :

: The clone feigned hurt perfectly, making guilt well up in Wally's eyes :

: "I- I- how do I know you're real?" He asked, trying to sit up. :

: Fake Barry pressed down on his chest lightly to try and calm him down, but it had opposite effect. (No kidding) :

: Wally started to hyperventilate, eyes darting around like he didn't know which way was up or which way was down. :

: "Wally, Wally you have to calm down." he said soothingly. :

: "No! No!" then he was fighting the clone, making the fake Batman come over making Wally struggle harder because of the violent memories associated with the man. :

: Wally backed up to the headboard trying to put as much distance between him, and Batman and Flash. :

: Clone Batman took a step back, raising his arms in surrender. :

: He was wide eyed and scared of being tricked. He looked to them. Broken. Traumatised. Wally tried to focus on leveling his breathing. :

Superman felt the situation crash down on him in that moment.

The *turmoil* the boy must be feeling!

If they're real then he's just hurting himself by freaking out and stopping them from helping him. If they're not then he's letting the enemy comfort him, manipulate him, *break* him.

What does he do? Who does he trust?

He has *no* way of knowing.

: "Kid. Wally, you have to calm down, please Kid. I can't see you get hurt. Not again." Uncle Barry said quietly. Wally gave a guilty whimper. :

: He squeezed his eyes shut, threading his fingers through his hair, clutching his head rocking back and forth. :

"He's insane." Wonder Woman whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reactions to Wally and Clone Roy next chapter!


	9. Mandatory Meeting Part 4

: The fake flash was about to reach for Wally when a (planned) crash sounded just outside the doors of the medlab. :

: Clone Robin looked like he was restraining Roy from entering the infirmary. :

: More confusion bubbled up onto Wally's face. How did he feel about Roy being there? Happy? Scared? :

Roy felt something. He felt *scared*.

What did his clone *do*?

'Well', Roy thought, 'Clone me's a jerk. Why'd they make him like that? Sure I'm an asshole but I'm not that bad'

: Clone Roy burst into the room with a scowl on his face and an attitude to match. And it was *so much* like Roy that Wally felt more at ease. *Laughing*, saying, "Why so mad Roy? No hats to throw?" :

(And-- oh!-- was that jealousy that Barry was feeling? That Wally could be at ease around Roy but not him? How did that even make sense, when it wasn't *him* or *Roy* in the first place?)

: Then Wally clamped his mouth shut in fear. :

: The Roy look alike just smiled, sending Wally into another sense of false calm and confusion. Striding over, ignoring Batman stepping in front of him frowing in disappointment, he grinned at Wally. :

'Oh hell no this fucker isn't' Roy thought.

: The Barry stood up, "You need some time away from Batman and I. I get it. Wally take some time to sort out your thoughts." He tugged at fake Batman, about to leave the room. "Red Arrow, Roy, don't stay to long." He gave him a warning glare. :

Roy growled to himself, tense and ready to strike.

: Wally almost smiled. He was confused. Confused, conflicted, unstable. :

: "Hey, Kid. I've missed you." :

("I missed you KF")

: Wally froze in fear. Causing the Red Arrow clone stripped off his mask revealing blue-green eyes. :

'He knows' Roy thinks to himself. 'He knows my identity. He tricked Wally into thinking he was safe, then crushed him with *my* face. Not my costume, not my mask. *Me*'

He knows its selfish...but he was hoping he could be the confident in Wally's life right now. That *he* could convince him that he was safe. To be the hero.

But that didn't seem possible now.

: The clone walks forward. 

"So, I know hugs aren't high on your list of 'how to sort out my mind' but I've seriously missed my bro. Do you know how much I've missed you? But hey! When you're ready to hear about it, I'll tell you what I did to that *other* me! I'll give you a teaser, it has something to do with arrows and dicks." :

Dick smiles on instinct before feeling horrible guilt coil in his stomach. 

He had just smiled at a joke that some *fake* Roy said.

The same faker that was going to *hurt* his boyfriend and best friend.

And he felt horrible! How could he smile at the joke?! He knew what the end result was going to be!

Batman said he was tricked *twice*.

Which means Wally's going to think that he's safe only to be broken down again and again. 

He almost felt like crying.

He hadn't meant to find it funny...

...it was just...it was such a Roy thing to do that even he could see how Wally was tricked again.

He would be too.

: Apparently Wally found *clone* Roy's statement just as funny because he burst into giggles at the blatant way he said it. He slowly unwrapped his arms from his legs and scooted into the clones waiting arms. :

'No...' Roy thinks, suddenly wishing he was no longer in the 'need to know' part of this whole thing.

He didn't think he's going to be able to watch their friendship crumble without showing weakness in front of the Justice League. 

: When he was in reach, the clone pulled him into his lap, making Wally stiffen. :

Roy stiffened as well, making Black Canary put a hand on his shoulder again.

: Roy clone wrapped his arms around Wally's small frame, intentionally unintentionally squishing Wally's arms into his chest. He linked his hands together, holding Wally there. And Wally was just sitting there, not knowing what to do. Did he trust him or not? :

: Wally tentatively rested his head onto the fellow redheads shoulder, 'testing' it out. : 

: The clone wasn't doing anything except for hug him. Just a hug. Nothing else. :

And the fact that he wasn't*doing* anything angered Roy. 

Why was he waiting?! What was he doing?!

'Dragging it out' a voice whispered in the back of his head. 'Building him up, just to tear him down'

: The clone let Wally take the lead, unmoving as the speedster adjusted. As he got more and more *comfortable* around him. : 

: Wally started to get more and more comfortable with the clone. And pressed his body against his, wrapping his legs platonically around his waist. :

They could see the instinctual need to be held. To be loved. And the Roy look alike was giving him *just* that. He needed it so muchand Fake Roy just hugged him tighter.

: Wally seemed to have made up his mind that this was the real Roy, (much to everyones elses horror) and snuggled deeper into the clones embrace. He even fell alseep in the not-archers arms. :

: Hours later, he woke up in the same 'safe' position that he fell alseep in. Only solidifying his subconscious's decision that this was the real deal. His nose was pressed into the clones collar bone his legs wrapped around his waist, both of his arms wrapped around his thin waist.  
Both of Wally's arms were still in front of him, pressed against Fake Roy's chest. :

: Then the clone nuzzled (how dare this fucker *nuzzle* his friend?!) the side of his face. :

: "You up?"

"Yes." he said back. :

And then-- THEN-- he decided to put his plan into action. 

'Pay attention Harper.' he thought to himself, 'Need to know how he was broken to know how to help fix him.'

...'please be fixable'

: The clone pulled him tighter, until Wally's face was pressed up against his collar bone, and his front was pressed into him so much that he didn't have any wiggle room. :

: Wally couldn't *move* at all. Causing fear to flicker across his face before he forced it down. Trying to act as natural as possible. But the clone didn't stop. He just kept moving Wally closer and closer.  
Until his face was pressed into Roy's collar bone so hard that a red mark would be there when he moved. :

: Wally took in deep breaths. Trying to calm himself, but was still forcing himself to be perfectly still. *Too still*. It was so obviously fake...but Wally was trying so hard for someone he thought was Roy. : 

But he was (obviously) starting to feel claustrophobic and he was scared. His breathing noticeably stuttered and Roy could any imagine what he would feel like against him. Hummingbird heart beat speeding up, body starting to sweat.

He knows what it would feel like because he's held a scared speedster before...

...but he's never been the cause of it before...

: Wally shifted minutely, to hint to the clone that he *couldn't* move and that that wasn't okay. :

: Wally's fingers flexed instinctively, not being able to hold it in any longer. They kneaded into fake Roy's shirt. Wally visibly swallowed a couple of times, staring intensively at the walls that he could see. :

But instead of becoming calmer, be looked liked he was becoming worse. 

His eyes were fogging up and he looked like it was taking all of his brain power to stay completely still.

: The clones arm suddenly moved to thread his fingers into Wally's red hair, pressing his face deeper into Roy's collar bone. His hand weighed heavy on his head, not giving him room to budge at *all*. :

: Wally accidentally let a small shudder race through his body, visibly shaking. And seemed to mentally berating himself for it. :

: Now Wally couldn't move his head and Fake Roy's other arm wounded around Wally's waist. The Clone flexed his fingers, digging them into Wally's side. Not enough to bruise, but enough to be known. Because he *wanted* him to know how helpless he was. And it certainly didn't go unnoticed to Wally who as close to hyperventilating. :

: "R-Roy?" He stuttered. And even though it came out small, the clone could *definatly* hear him. Hear the fear. But he pretended he didn't, let Wally think that nothing was wrong when it so obviously was.

Wally tried to move his legs, but he couldn't do that. He worked his hands to Roy's chest to have better leverage and experimentally pushed. He didn't do anything. Just held Wally there. :

: Wally shuddered again when both of fake Roy's hands flexed (purposefully) again. 

His eyes were squeezed shut and his chest was rising and falling dramatically.

: "R-oy?" he said louder, voice cracking a little. :

'I would have let go,' he thought wanting Wally to figure out that it *wasn't* him. That he *wouldn't* do this. 'Hell! I wouldn't have trapped you in the first place!'

: The clone hummed, pretending nothing was wrong. "Hmmm?" :

Wally was tenser than a bow string. Still trying to force himself to be calm...

...even though it as tearing him up inside.

: He pushed on fake Roy's chest lightly, saying "I'm not gonna disappear." he tried to chuckle. Trying to play everything off.

He *always* tried to play everything off.

He was trying to play off being experimented on like a lab rat.

He was trying to play off the insanity that was trying to forcibly enter his mind.

He was trying to play off his claustrophobia.

He was trying to play off everything...just to pretend he was okay.

He was playing off everything just to *be* okay.

: The clone laughed at Wally's 'joke'. And Wally, poor Wally, thought that HE thought that nothing was wrong. When *everything* was. He squeezed his eyes back shut, trembling, breathing erratically, a little petrified whimper escaping him at the horrible feeling of being trapped. :

Roy felt his heart twist. 

He was breaking.

: Tears started to stream down his face, onto the clone's chest. A sob escaped the redhead. His eyes opened, then became wider with fear. So much fear.

He finally tried to push Roy away forcefully but it did literally absolutely nothing to get farther. :

: The clone decided to make it worse by running 'soothing' (teasing-- showing him how much he controlled him--) circles into his hip bones. Wally was trembling so bad :

Wally raised his voice, wanting him (HIM. His bro!) to know that he wasn't okay. That this wasn't okay. "Roy. Stop. Let- let me-" but he didn't let go. He even pressed him TIGHTER.

: That seemed to be the last straw for the crumbling teen. He began thrashing and screaming 'please, please, let me move!' trying to get away. But the clone did nothing. Nothing. He wouldn't move or let Wally move an inch. Nothing. Not even his head. No matter what Wally did to get away, the clone forced the claustrophobic teen still. :

: No matter how much Wally *begged* 'Roy' to *please* let him move, the fake archer kept Wally immobile. :

: Just when they thought Wally was going to break down, the clone extended him at arms length without any warning whatsoever. Suddenly giving him WAY to much room.

His fingers were digging into Wally's shoulders so hard small bruises would be left afterward.

Wally gasped like he was breathing for the first time in hours. :

: Wallys teary eyes widened like he didn't know where he was or what was going on. He grabbed onto the clones wrists like he was trying to ground himself to reality. His mind couldn't comprehend ANYTHING at the moment because of his hysteria. :

: The clone made it worse by saying, "Wally, you need to calm down. Calm. Relax Wally. RELAX." :

It had (of course) had the exact effect the demented clone wanted. To make Wally crazy. 

And it was killing him. Killing his *mind*.

His insticts were yelling at him to *remove* himself from the problem if he wanted to be okay. He knew that he needed out. He needed free.

: So he began to try and wrench himself from the strong hold on his shoulders. But just like before, the clone wouldn't let him.

Wally thrashed around with all his energy, used his whole body. *Threw* himself to the right, then to the left, then backwards. But fake Roy was hardly effected. His arms moved only slightly at Wally's full body efforts to get away. :

: In an act of desperation, Wally tried to pry Roy's fingers off of his shoulders. But he just dug in harder. Even when Wally used both hands, he could do nothing. :

: He began to shake with defeat and madness, and started to sob disparringly into his hands. :

Roy curled into a ball, not even finding it n him to care about his appearance. 

His brother.

His brother.

: After awhile Wally finally calmed down, not having any more tears to shed. He chose to wrap his arms around himself, hugging himself while blubbering. :

: "Wally?" Roy asked softly. :

Too softly. He didn't deserve to talk to his friend that way. He didn't get to pretend like he was *helping*. How DARE he use *his* voice to break him!

Roy realised that his clones eyes hadn't left his face once the whole breakdown. 

: The last of his tears were still running down his face and he was still shaking as he met who he thought was Roy's eyes. :

His eyes were wide with fear and madness, but he was coherent.

He was coherent.

He was fixable.

What happened?

: "Wally, I'm not gonna stop touching you, because you don't need to be alone right now, (WRONG) but I'm going to lay you down real gently okay? Real slow and gentle. You're safe as long as I'm here." :

SAFE?! SAFE?! How dare he use that word when talking about him! Because it wasn't really him which meant safe was now bad for both and uggg does any of that even make sense?!

: The hands that had prevented Wally from moving for so long were suddnely pushing him backward, causing him to gasp in fear. He grabbed Roy's wrist again like his life depended on it while his head and back hit something soft. :

: Wally blinked over and over again as if trying to figure out what was happening. :

"Relax." the clone rumbled like he *deserved* to destroy everything.

: Wally *listened* and slowly let go of the clones wrists and put them at his sides. :

And Roy hurt. Because Wally trusted him so much. He must. If a look-alike could tear apart his sanity and Wally still listen to him like the was right. 

And his clone manipulated all that trust in order to make the Wally he knows gone forever.

: Wally slowly let the tension out of his body and relaxed into the bed. And slowly...very very slowly...the clone started to relax his fingers. :

He pulled back slightly, but as soon as the feeling of fake Roy's hand left his shoulder Wally gasped and sprang up to stop him.

And-- oh!-- how wrong was it that Wally had tried his hardest to escape earlier only to think that he couldn't live without it now?

: But the clone was there, and he shushed Wallys worries away and came over to sit behind Wally. He grabbed Wally's shoulders gently from behind and leaned him backwards so Wally's head was resting on his lap. :

Roy smoothed back Wally's hair. *Just* like the real Roy would.

: And Wally slowly relaxed again. His eye lids fluttered. Probably feeling a terrible kindof weight on his mind and body. :

: He fell asleep feeling completely *safe* with Roy's fingers petting his hair. :

When he woke up it was clear that the clone had succeded in destroying some of Wally's sanity.

You could *see* the peices of him that wasn't there.

: Wally began doubting the whole thing, wondering if he had made up the whole thing in his mind. Fake Roy was still petting his hair, but he started to shift under Wally, moving his head to slip out from under him. 

Wally shifted and tried to sit up, but the clone laid a hand on him, right where his heart was. A silent *warning* to not get up. :

: He turned to something behind him and came back with a needle.

Wally tried to sit up in panic, but fake Roy's hand was still resting above his heart, not budging. :

: "Calm down. It's to help with the freaking out and help you go to sleep." he lied.

Wally forced himself to lay back down, trying to ignore the hand on his chest and the fiddling with the needle. He was *forcing* himself to be calm once again. :

: Roy turned to him with a *comforting* smile, and said "If you want to close your eyes for this part, I won't judge you. But you're going to have to give me your arm."  
Wally slowly slid his arm out from under him, where he had sub-consciously hid it from him as soon as he saw the needle. :

Roy's jaw worked. He was mad at how *real* it sounded. How much like *him* it sounded.

: Wally squeezed his eyes shut tight and stuck his arm out within the clones reach. His fingers lightly grabbed his arm and found a vein to stick the needle in. :

It wasn't the pain of the needle that they feared for Wally, but the painful memories.

: Immediately after the needle left, Wally's body relaxed into a puddle of numbness. :

: Fake Roy, then gets on his phone and texts someone quickly. :

'I don't even HAVE a phone', Roy thought to himself.

: He pouted a little, looking upset with whatever was on the screen. :

Batman pulled up a spilt screen, 

'Play time is done. Wrap it up.'

: The clone put the phone up, and suddenly grinned at Wally, not being able to contain his *excitement* about delivering the final blow to Wally's mind. 

He bent down, out of Wally's eye sight.

Wally tried to move to the side to see him. But came to the shocking conclusion that the drug made it impossible to move. :

: "Rrrooii?" he tried. The clone came back up with straps-- fear was easily built up in Wallys eyes and face.

Fake Roy was now tying him down onto a replica of Mt. Justice's hospital bed.

And then, a needle was pressed into his neck putting something into him.

Wally was frowning.

Then he was gritting his teeth in pain and trying to thrash on the bed as much as the restraints would let him. :

What ever drug was put into him was clearly painful, and given his already weakened mind, the physical pain was only ripping it up more.

Then! This clone has the audacity to duct tape his mouth shut!

: Tears of pain and confusion whelled up in Wally's eyes causing the faker to suddenly propped his chin on his arm, elbow right by Wally's head.

Commenting, "That looks like it hurts."in a border line mocking tone.

He leaned down, right next to his ear where Wally couldn't see him.

"You wanna know why?"

Wally's body jerked in pain, making him cry out into he duct tape.

The clone leaned in closer, nose brushing his temple, and whispered right into his ear,

 

"Because I'm not Roy."

: Wally stared blankly at the ceiling, over worked mind running through everything. Processing. 

It wasn't *real*.

None of it was real.

Everything they had built up fell onto Wally with the force of skyscrapers. :

: And then he was sobbing. He realized that he was still captured. He *never* left. He was still a lab rat. Still considered less than a human being.

They tricked him again.

*AGAIN* :

: The pain made it self known again, making his body jerk to the side. :

He was breaking and he knew it. 

He was breaking and they all knew it.

: The Batman clone came back in saying, "Alright. We have the data on what happens when green-cyanide and acid-toxin is in the speedsters system. Knock him out." :


	10. Mandatory Meeting Part 5

Sunday, March 13th: Day Two since Rescue

Wally, (unfortunately or fortunately?) took the clone Hal in stride.

Hal however. Did not.

"What. The. FUCK?!" He yelled, "Why the *fuck* are we sitting in here for and not helping my nephew?!"

"You wanna storm into the med bay and yell at a traumatised teen that you're the real deal be my guest." Batman growled.

Hal growled back and looked like he was going to do just that before his clones large fist drove into Wally's side cracking ribs and making Wally cry out.

He sat down shakily and curled his fist, causing his ring to flair.

Tears pushed their way into Wally's eyes and they could see the self loathing in his eyes. Hating the *weakness* that he was showing.

A couple days later and the Flash clone begun to participate in the experiments.

He cries out when a knife (his Uncles face, his Uncles FACE) cut into his sternum.

He was shaking and they don't think it was just from physical pain.

Because he *knows* that it's not his Uncle. And that his Uncle would never hurt him. Would never hurt him.

: His body spasmed when his skin was peeled back. :

They watch as Wally starts getting less and less coherent. 

He seemed to drift in and out of consciousness without actually closing his eyes. 

"He is finding refuge within his own mind." Martian Manhunter commented in that same collected voice. 

Dick frowned. "What do you mean 'finding refuge in his mind'?"

"I mean that the strain is becoming to much on his mental state, so he is burying himself in his own mind (where even he can't get out on his own) so that he doesn't have to feel anything."

Dick bit his lip to keep from showing weakness in front of the league, but... Wally was so hurt he was losing himself just to escape it all. And that hurt Dick because he couldn't imagine what it would be like to be there for so long trying to keep hope but slowly being manipulated into not even having that anymore. 

He looked up on the screen to see clone M'gann hovering off the ground near Wally, whose face was hidden by his mangy hair.

"Please look up." said the clone M'gann softly.

And he also looked up, but not because he thought it was her but because he remembered the LAST time he had disobeyed an order from his captors. In Wally's mind, it was better to be submissive in the long run.

He looked up, giving the clone a blank hollow stare in return.

The clone had a cookie sheet filled with cookies that looked delicious- if a bit burnt.

He didn't make a move to take any, just looking at her blankly, as if to say 'again? Really?'.

The M'gann clone pushed them towards him teasingly.

"Come on, you're allowed. We may have *forgot* to feed you the past two days but I asure you we're very, very sorry." She smiled (so wrong, so wrong) "Go on."

He sighed, knowing exactly where this was going and tentatively reached his hand out, already knowing where this story ended. And...oh...he was right, she suddenly wrenched them out of his reach (much to the amusment to the Roy and Hal clone) while Wally didn't show any outside emotion.

The M'gann clone reached for one of her cookies and ate it with relish. Her face turned to one of pure bliss as she ate it with gusto.

Wally looked at her blankly. Almost unfeeling. He was sad. But that was a normal thing to find in his mind now a days.

After fake Hal and fake Roy had also eaten cookies in front of him they dropped the usual gray stuff down on the floor.

"Whoops," fake Roy sneered as it fell off the tray and onto the ground, spilling the 'food' onto the dirty dungeon floor. "Looks like you're going to have to eat it off the floor." he laughed that nasty laugh again causing him to flinch.

They finally left leaving Wally and his gray goop alone.

'No wonder he didn't trust my cookies. He thought we were just teasing' M'gann thought, fantasys of baking dessert after dessert flittered in her mind before she realized he probably wasn't going to trust any of her meals anytime soon. 

And now...

Their third attempt...

When Wally is on the table... He blearily sees something new.

(how much he actually saw through those drugs is debatable) 

Clone Diana pets his hair...and Clone Shayera pets his cheek...

('Trying to convince his subconscious that they mean no harm' J'onn explains)

And Superman picks him up, cradling him to his chest. Before the Clone began flying.

"It's okay Kid Flash, we got you out."

"You're safe."

That word filters through where Wally can recognize. 

And his immediate emotion is: fear.

Fear flickers across his face before he passes out. 

Where the clones take him into a room identical to the watchtower. The space window and everything.

And when Wally wakes up and sees the Watchtower he doesn't look happy. He doesn't look...anything. Just resolved. 

Because he knows. He knows they're not real. 

He's not going to be tricked again. Because he knows he won't be able to handle it. 

When he wakes up, he's looking at his 'Auntie Shay' and 'Aunt Di'. When he wakes up, 'Superman', with all his glory is standing there, pulling off his 'awkward-don't know what to do' face perfectly.

But he's not happy. Just blank.

He sat quietly and without feeling as the Hawkwoman clone hugged him, her wings almost wrapping around him during the warm embrace.

He didn't flinch or move when clone Wonder Woman pulled him into a crushing hug.

He didn't react when fake Superman patted his shoulder saying something like "You're alright son." or something like that.

After several attempt to get him to react (and him just staring blankly at the wall, burrying himself in his mind) the Superman clone sighed with annoyance.

"He's not falling for it this time."

And this time, Wally barley felt the pain of defeat and hopelessness because he never let himself hope in the first place.

(And HOW were they supposed to feel about that?! Happy that he didn't fall for it or upset that now he couldn't believe them!?) 

He was beat...again.

By his wonderful leaguer Aunts and the face of Justice itself...

"Oh my sweet Mary mother of God." Clark whispered. 

The sentiment seemed to be shared by everyone else, especially Diana and Shayera who had tears in their eyes.

 

Wally was now limping after the Kaldur clone, who had a frightening smirk on his face causing cold dread to run down the real Kaldur's spine.

The Kaldur clone led him to a room with a rickety table and two buckets full of water. Wally froze, not liking this at all. But the Kaldur clone pushed him forward, causing him to stumble and nearly fall.

He caught himself on the table but barley got his footing before the clone grabbed his hair tightly in his fist and shoved his head into a bucket, Wally thrashed under the water. The clones strong hands held him there until even they were holding their breath at how long he'd been held umder. 

When the clone gripped his hair and wrenched upwards Wally's lips were blue (from cold or lack of oxygen?) and he was coughing and trying desperatly to *breath*.

He tried to cough up the water only to be dunked under the other bucket. 

He was thrashing again trying to get out of the water but was kept under for a few more seconds before fake Kaldur yanked his hair back up, revealing his red face (hot water. First cold and then hot. Dear lord...) He gasped only being allowed a small cough and a bit of oxygen before being pushed back down into freezing bucket.

The waterboarding went on for so long, constantly shocking his body with the temperature differences and making his lungs burn. 

Finally, fake Kaldur finally yanked him out and let him fall to the ground. He fell onto his hands and knees hacking and coughing up as much water as he could while also trying to *breathe*. When he finally got enough in his lungs his arms gave out causing him to fall onto the ground on his chest (also making him cough again).

When he caught his breath again the clone Kaldur kicked him in the ribs slightly to get him to roll over. He coughed again, ribs stinging.

The clone sneered at him. "See you tomorrow." 

And he did. The next day was the same thing. The Aqualad clone waterboarding him over and over through out the day until Wally was begging him not to take him.

Because he can't hide in his mind when his body was fighting for survival could he? 

Which one was worse honestly?

Wanting the red head to be present for the torture or wanting him to hide in his head, which was also extremely dangerous?

. . . 

To be continued...

(The Next chapter is either going to be Wally with the Not-Robin (which will be explicit) or the Meeting (which won't be) idk whichever one gets done first I guess ;) love you guys!)


	11. Not-Robin (explicit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaack! 
> 
> Okay, if rapey or explicit fics aren't your thing or are triggering, please head over to the next chapter (where you'll get a light recap type thing to not be lost but won't get all the details)

Sunday, March 6th: Day 17 since Capture

Not-Robin was walking towards him.

He realized this, but at the same time...he didn't care enough to move.

Why move or react Here when he could go There?

"Don't blank on me, Kid Idiot." Not-Robin sneered. 

He couldn't help the flinch that overtook his body.

He didn't know why he listened. He didn't. Even later. Years later. He would always wonder why he didn't *leave* when he had the chance.

The Not-Robin smirked and dragged him up by the arm, causing him to flinch and hiss. He dragged him through the pristine halls looking over his shoulder and smiling in a way that would be kind if it were on the REAL Robin's face.

"You're being moved to a different room, would ya like that?"

Wally didn't answer but instead mulled over that chilling thought. A new room? What would this one look like? It had to be worse right? Was there something worse than the dungeon he was in before? 

He shuddered. His imagination decided to be 'helpful' in showing him that YES it can be worse. Not-Robin stopped in front of a door that looked like a normal house door besides the fact that it was made of metal. And, okay, maybe he was being ridiculous, but he felt a little miffed that there was only a simple looking lock that you get at Lows on there. He was a freaking superhero and they were treating him like less than a threat. Not-Robin pulled him into the dark room and left him wobbling slightly in the center while he turned to shut the door and turn on the light. When he flipped the light on and Wally immediately squeezed eyes shut against the assaulting brightness and rubbed at his eyes; hyper aware of not-Robin stepping closer and nudging the small of his back. He took a step forward despite still not being able to see still (not wanting not-Robin to push him over) and swayed slightly to the side. He opened his eyes and took in the room, expecting the worst.

His mouth went dry at the sight in front of him. 

It was DICKS room. 

Not Robins in the Mountains, but DICK GRAYSONS at Wayne Manor.

There was his dorky lamp on his desk with homework scattered on it that Ro-Dick would fall asleep at constantly. And his bed with the Robin eggs blue bedspread and dark oak wood. The floor creaked under him in the same spot too. It creaked because once Roy and Dick were wrestling and an arrow caught on fire and ruined some of the floor.

Alfred and Mr. Wayne-call-me-Bruce told Dick he'd have to pay for it himself with money that he earned and Dick ended up replacing it with cheaper wood that creaked.

His throat constricted and he felt sick, the clone knew his boyfriends identity.

He felt woozy all of a sudden. 

'new room'

Wally didn't like this at all, he felt his vision blur and his heart pump faster as he realized WHY they moved him.

Because this *hurt* his sanity, and that was the game wasn't it?

They were moving him from his nice boring cell to something *personal* that made him sick in the stomach AND the head.

Not-Robin pushed him hard enough that he fell onto the bed, making the word tilt precariously.

He licked his dry lips, trying to summon something to say, but not-Robin took his wrists in hand and yanked them up into some batcuff look-alikes that were hanging on the headboard.

A deep pit of unease opened up in his stomach, making his arms shake as not-Robin pushed him upwards on the bed slightly so he wasn't straining his arms.

Not-Robin got off the bed, looking at him with a blank-ish stare that made goosebumps appear on Wallys arms and legs. 

Not-Robin tilted his head before pulling up a hologram on his wrist.

Wally chewed on his bottom lip, not liking where any of this was going while he watched not-Robin turn off all the cameras that were in this room. 

As soon as all the cameras were turned off, not-Robin peeled his mask off, revealing-

-nonononono those *EYES* they were his boyfriends and didn't belong to this person that was planning on hurting him- and this was to much *to much!* he couldn't focus- could barley hold in the bile crawling its way up his throat- he was shaking and he knew it- but didn't care to stop- he couldn't dream about those beautiful eyes- those saving graces- if not-Robin used them against him-

Wally hadn't realized it but while be was panicking, not-Robin had climbed onto the bed, making it dip under his weight and had straddled his hips clutching his face with his glove less hands; deceptively gentle.

"Look at me. *Look*"

Wally's eyes came back into focus, his subconscious listening to the voice that had gently brought him out of panic attacks *before*. 

It was sososo wrong. And he *knew* it. And it *hurt* that his mind wasn't doing a very good job of distinguishing memory's, facts, and clone. 

Not-Dick was looking at him with those gorgeous (not right, so so wrong) cerulean blue eyes.

Not-Dick smiled 'kindly', and up close Wally could see his smooth lips (I used to kiss those-NO!-not these! His *boyfriends!*) and fierce cheekbones. 

"Scared?"

Wally didn't dignify that with an answer.

"Tell me...have you and Boy Wonder ever done anything...sensual?" he asked, voice dipping lower on the last word.

Wally felt like his brain was short circuiting- sensual?- what the hell did that even- oh

Oh no. 

There was a pounding in his skull and his mouth felt like cotton had been stuffed into it.

"W-what?" he whispered.

"You heard me." he replied, smug. "Have you and Birdboy ever fucked? Give BJs? Give handjobs? Anything?"

Wally didn't answer. Terrified that if he answered he'd have to come to reality that this was REAL-- this was *really* happening. Not-Dick was stripping him of his shirt, causing goosebumps to spread across his skin. He squeezes his eyes shut. 

Please no. Please don't let this be happening. Please let this be a nightmare-- please let him be on a lab table or in a water bucket with not-Kaldur gripping his hair. He'll take anything. Anything. Just not this. Not the clone beginning to divest him of his pants. And then the boxers. 

Then he was naked and chained to the bed with a boyfriend look-alike straddling his hips. 

He tries to bury himself in his mind but he's too distracted, too afraid. He feels...raw.

He's surprised when he's backhanded and his eyes shoot open because of it. 

"You're going to watch." He clone hisses to him; the blue eyes that are so much like his lovely boyfriends that he's momentarily startled. 

The clone slides off of him and off the bed before slipping out of the Robin uniform. And Wally *knows* he should be looking away or closing his eyes or something but he can't help but stare at his not-boyfriend; his mouth going dry. 

He feels like such a fucking perv. 

His body's gorgeous. He doesn't want him to be so hot because it will make this all so much worse. But at the same time his boyfriend- his REAL boyfriend- really is hot. And he didn't mind when it was just them-- without these fucking cadmus clones. And he loved how gorgeous his wonderful boyfriend was when he jerked off and couldn't help but imagine their first time together and how awesome it was gonna be but now that was being ruined! And just- 

-fuck!

The not-Dick slid back onto the bed and smiled at Wally before swooping down and capturing his mouth with his. 

Wally immediately shuts his mouth, refusing to participate in this. He doesn't want this. He doesn't. With his real boyfriend? Defiantly. With this faker? Never.

The clone pulls back with a small crease in his brow and Wally has to bury the urge to apologize. 

'These clones really fucked me up didn't they?' He thinks to himself as the clone kisses him again and slips a hand towards his ass- before pinching him. He gasps and the clone takes advantage of this by slipping his tongue into his mouth. And he means to struggle! To bite him or *something* but its so familiar and hot that he finds himself reciprocating before he can stop himself. 

He feels disgust and lust build up in his gut as the clone pulls away and smiles victoriously down at him.

Wally swallows-- knowing this roller coaster is only beginning. 

The clones mouth goes down on his neck and begins sucking marks onto his most sensitive areas, making him gasp as more lust builds in his stomach, heating his skin up.

He squeezes his eyes shut-- wishing this weren't happening. He wants his real boyfriend. He wanted his first time to be with someone he loves not with a look a like that was hell bent on driving him off the deep end. He looks so much like his boyfriend that he can hear this small and dark voice in the insane parts of his head that says *enjoy it*. 

But its NOT his boyfriend! 

This is fucking rape! 

The clone leans back and admires the marks he made smiling down at Wally so softly that he could almost convince himself that he wants this. Almost.

He doesn't know which ones worse- the idea of a random guy raping him but being able to be with his boyfriend one day or someone that looks like his boyfriend making his first time almost like everything he wanted while twisting his sanity?

Oh wait. He does know which is worse. 

The clone ignores his glares while gripping his half-hard cock in his hand, causing Wally to gasp again. He's twisting before he even realizes it. But whether its towards him or away he's to afraid to check.

Fuck- he's never had this done before- its only been himself. 

He squeezes his eyes shut in an attempt to make this any less real. But the clone chuckles. 

"Ah ah ah. No zoning out for you little runner." 

The clone begins to pump him slowly, before going faster as soon as he's fully hard. 

And he wishes he could go 'There' so badly but he can't-

-His body's betraying him and the disgust and rational parts of him are getting taken over by the lust that's building every moment. 

The clones kissing him again and he's actually participating this time before he can stop himself and finds himself groaning into the kiss as the clone swipes his thumb over his tip, also making pre-cum begin to bead at the tip. The clone chuckles.

"I'm going to guess that you and Boy Blunder HAVEN'T done this. Good. I was hoping that I would be first."

The words find a way to pierce their way through his lust filled cloud enough to make him disgusted with himself before he feels a wet finger probe at his entrance. 

His fear comes back full force causing his breath to quicken and tears to appear at the corner of his eyes, "Wait--please--please don't"

The not-boyfriend shushes him gently, offering him a small mercy by pulling his finger away, kissing him again, gently pumping his cock again making his back arch and his eyes flutter shut. 

"P-please-*gasp*" The clone found out that right behind his ears are more sensitive than his collar bones or neck and began attacking there with vigor. He felt his climax build but was to far gone to care anymore. His chest was heaving, arms were aching, mind was pleasantly buzzing, and hips were stuttering and he didn't care anymore that it wasn't his boyfriend above him.

He came with a groan, pear colored cum splashing over the clones hand and stomach.

He collapsed back onto the robins egg blue bedspread trying to regain his breath and ignore the tingles in his arms.

His limbs feel like their buzzing and a warm feeling spreads over him like it usually does when he jacks himself off. 

 

Except this wasn't usual. 

 

A lump forms in his throat when his mind starts to come back down from its high causing him to choke slightly. There's a wet heat behind his eyes and he lets a sob escape him when the weight of what just happened come crashing back down.

The clones grinning, with his boyfriends smile, and slowly brings his come covered hand back up into view causing Wally to choke again. 

The clone spreads some of his come onto his red lips making a stab of lust bring heat back into his gut once again. 

Wally bites his lip in an attempt to bury it away. 

Except the clone makes a show of sucking two fingers into his mouth and moans, pink tongue flicking out from between his kiss swollen lips. 

Wally can't help the sound he makes in the back of his throat at the sight.

The clone grins again, saying, "I was wondering if your speed lets you have multiple orgasms...lets hope I'm right."

He begins pumping him again even though Wally's still reeling emotions from the last one and is still sensitive. He hisses as his nerves protest. The clone grins. "I'm also not going to be kind enough to pull away this time." 

The clone pulls his hand away long enough to drizzle more lube onto his other hand.

He shushes Wally's whimpers again and shoots him an annoyed look as he opens his mouth to beg again. "If you don't be quiet, I won't be nice." He blue eyes narrow. "I don't have to pleasure you at all. I could just force myself into your body and use you as my personal fuck toy." This makes Wallys jaw click shut.

Which is worse? His not-boyfriend twisting his mind with pleasure or his not-boyfriend inflicting pain onto him by forcing his way into him without lube or anything.

The second one makes him shudder and he tries to control his breathing as he watches the clones hand move between his legs again. 

One hand pumps his cock again, surprisingly ready despite how recent it is. 

'Damn speed' He thinks to himself when pleasure shoots up his spine, before catching his breath when the finger probes his entrance again. This time more forceful. 

"Relax. Or it will hurt." The clone warns.

And he tries to listen, except he's never had anything like this- and its strange, foreign, and he's hella scared. The finger goes in slow and it burns despite the lube, making tears gather once again. 

The clone gets part of the way in before he lets him breath, pumping his cock to full hardness again, making him shiver. 

He pushes all the way in, the pleasure from the handjob overriding the fear from before. 

Its still alien and scary but he can't bring himself to care as much as before. He finds himself relaxing in favor of pushing upwards into the hand that's holding him so perfectly. The finger inside of him crooks upwards finding his prostate and sending straight bliss running through his veins causing him to grind backwards trying to find that again. He must have made a noise because the clone chuckles sucking another mark onto his neck. 

He feels over sensitive-- he wants to grind backwards to chase after that new but good feeling, wants to thrust upwards into the hand that's squeezing his cock in the best of ways- intent on pulling another mind blowing orgasm from him, and wants that mouth to keep sucking and licking and kissing him in every good place. 

The clone- sounding so much like his attractive boyfriend- whispers hot breath into the shell of his ear, "You feel so good, did you know that? Driving me crazy ~Wally~" He said seductively, "So tight and hot. You're doing so good." He kisses him again before sliding another finger in his hole, making him hiss.

He might have cried out if it weren't for the touches to his balls and the *hard* squeeze to the base of his prick.

He was being stretched, which might not have been as painful as he originally thought- it still wasn't the most pleasant thing ever. 

He was being scissored open while the clone swiped some more pre-cum around his tip wrenching back into a pleasured headspace. The two fingers found that spot again making white spots dance in his vision again and more pre-cum to shoot out.

This happened again until three fingers were in him. He was panting, orgasm building when the fingers pulled out, leaving something *much* bigger than fingers in their wake. 

He was too swamped with fervor- was built up to high- to care. All he wanted was to be filled again. He pushed backwards, much to the clones amusement, and then he slowly entered him.

It burned and pinched, and it was *big*, but it wasn't unbearable. And he was just so hot that Wally couldn't stop the moan of appreciation that left him when he finally bottomed out. 

The clone had to brace himself and just stay still inside of him for a moment, as if to collect himself-- making Wally proud that he felt this good (And oh! OH! Later he'd reflect on that thought with shame- after all, it wasn't his boyfriend on top of him, it was an enemy) but for now he was just to turned on to think past instinct. 

The clone collected himself and pulled out halfway- before snapping his hips forwards and hitting his prostate- making desire *burn* him from the inside out. 

It wasn't long before he was coming again, crying out as stars exploded in front of his eyes, blurring the world around him. The clone above him gasped as he clenched around him pulling an orgasm from him as well. Wally could feel his not-boyfriends cum flood his inner walls making him writhes beneath the clone.

And his traitorous mind, in its lust induced haze, couldn't help but think.

'God he's pretty when he comes'

The clone pulled out- out of breath but grinning at his face as he came back to himself again.

 

"Not bad for your first time was it, Wallace?"


	12. Not-Robin part 2 (explicit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I said I was going to go back and forth........buuuuuut I think I'm going to finish what all happened to Wally first...
> 
> Also...sorry for the shortness but I felt ya'll deserved some more since I was on my laptop :///

Monday, March 7th: Day 18 Since Capture

His breath is hot in his ear, making shivers wrack his body. "Do you *love* me?"

He sobs and doesn't know what to say.

\--

He's being pounded into relentlessly. He's not hard because not-Robin is only chasing after his own pleasure, it's just a torrent of pain- of being impaled and torn open over and over- and trying to block out the sound of wet sounds and deep groans. This is hell because he always connected *loving* with his Bird but then again he'll take this over everything else.

He prefers being a fuck toy over being confused.

\--

He's on his knees with the massive appendage, that's been inside of him already, bumping into his lips. It's foreign and hot and messed up all at once. He's nervous and he wishes he was getting the shit beat out of him by not-Conner or even on that damn operating table. He wants to black out, pass out, hell just *die*. 

What's really waiting for him in the outside world anyhow? 

The cock pushes up against his dry lips again and his stomach lurches. What's to stop him from biting him? Death? If only.

"If you don't cooperate ~dragă**," And that makes him choke up because that's *Dicks* word for him. He feels like throwing up and feels himself break apart a little more. "If you don't cooperate I'll bring someone else in here to fuck you. How would you like that? Maybe *Roy*. He's hot, surely you've had fantasies? Maybe Hal."

Wally feels himself shake apart and begin sobbing wretchedly, feeling his brain pound in his skull hard enough to give him a raging headache. "P-p-please. I-I can do i-it."

He tries to block out the sound of triumphant glee the clone makes and get himself under control. 

He opens his mouth trying to gather coherent thoughts well enough to do this right- lest the clone decides he's not cooperating. 

He tries to think about all the things he's heard about this, trying to remember what the crude kids in the back of his class said was good about it.

The mass invades his mouth some more and all Wally can taste is *skin* which was bad before another *sharper* taste took over, making him choke up again. He tries to swirl his tongue but he feels awkward. He's never done this and it'd be easier if his boyfriend were above him giving him pointers, help him get it. If they were experimenting together. 

The clone above him groaned and wove a hand into his dirty red hair gripping tight. He pushed forward, forcing Wally to stretch his jaw wider. He tampered down his gag reflex despite his stomach already rolling violently. 

The clone groaned and tipped his head back as Wally tried to take him farther and farther. He felt the clones tip hit the back of his throat and choked, trying to pull off. The clone holds him there, making Wally control himself and breath in through his nose where he inhales the nauseating (at least, right now it is) smell of musk. 

The clone thrusts in and out shallowly, mostly forcing Wally to do the work before he pulls out most of the way, growling- "Swallow." Before coming in his mouth. He chokes and tries to keep up and swallow it all. Some of it dribbles down onto his chin and the clone groans at the sight.

"Not bad for your first time my ~dragă."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **dragă- dear, sweetheart, love in Romanian according to google translate


	13. Mandatory Meeting Part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update on the league just in case yall are confused! 
> 
> Not-Robin didn't record any of the sex between him and Wally. So the league can only see the beginning and the end. Like him pushing Wally into a room-blank-him leaving Wally while Wally sobs etc.
> 
> They TRY to convince themselves that it wasn't REALLY proof because they didn't *see* Wally be raped but Black Canarys about to remind them not to be naive.
> 
> Also! I've decided to make the leagues Doctor Dr. Mid-nite whose name I'm changing to Dr. Midnight because that makes the most sense to me ^_^

Sunday, March 13th: Day Two since Rescue

"Alright." Started Black Canary, clapping her hands together- taking charge. "We can't see exactly what happened during the last five days of Wally's kidnapping because Robins clone turned off the cameras- meaning we're just going to have to take his word for it. As much as I don't want it to be true, we have to believe him."

She surveys the faces before her. 

"We need to start helping Wally- we didn't want him to ever go through any of this- but it has so there's nothing else to do except help him. First and foremost: we have to convince him that he's rescued. Before any other therapy can begin- this has to happen first. Being honest? I don't know where to start, but I do know that this won't be a quick process." She breathes in again. "We need to forget about the clones that Luthor has created." Many glare at her but she holds her hand up- "They're deteriorating. Soon they won't even exist anymore, let alone be a threat. They've messed Wally up yes- but we have to remember who's REALLY responsible. Luthor. He needs to be tracked down. Whatever he's learned about the speedforce needs to be confiscated and we have to take away his means of creating MORE clones."

Many people begin to shift in their seats. 

THIS is what most people felt comfortable with. 

Mental issues? Not most peoples forte. Mental issues couldn't be beat up, physically overpowered and then disappear. They stayed, they required more work, and you can't kill them. 

No. The leaguers wanted to join a fight where they felt like they could DO more. Beating up Luthor- stealing and destroying his wrongly gained information- this was what they wanted.

Canary nodded. "Batman will oversee Luthor. Batman, Wonder Woman, Hawkwoman, Green Lantern, Young Justice, Red Arrow, Flash and Green Arrow- stand by and stay close. You all were made into clones. I'll need you to help with Wally's recovery. Doctor Midnight- follow me."

\---

'They're really putting a lot of work into this fake rescue aren't they'. He thought to himself coming back from 'There' and still finding himself in the 'med-bay'. 

He hovers for a long time between Here and There and always finding himself back alone and on the bed. 

He moves the blanket off of him after he gets to hot and contemplates the medicine and bandages on his legs. 

It must be a rest day. He shudders when he thinks about it.

That means the next week is going to be *hell*.

He wonders if Not-Robin will be coming by again.

He lets himself sink back There. 

He just...

...he just doesn't want to think anymore.

\---

"Wally?" Dinah tried to get the redheads attention again. 

His eyes were open but they were blank and glazed over-- not focusing on anything.

"Wally? I'm checking for a concussion alright? Dr. Midnight and I are making sure you get on the road to recovery."

There's no response and she sighs. She shines the flashlight in his eye. His pupils react normally, ruling out head injuries. She feels a pang hit her- just below the ribs- when she remembers J'onns words about finding refuge in his own mind. 

She nods to Dr. Midnight. He begins working through Wallys injuries. 

While Barry and Bruce already checked over the life threatening things when he was first rescued, Midnight felt he needed to do a full check up.

He carefully divested Wally of his hospital gown all while gently explaining what he was doing. From applying medicine to the incisions on his chest to cleaning the bandages on his legs to cleaning the wounds on his wrists from the laboratory. Through the whole thing Wally said nothing and didn't make a move.

Dinah grabbed a clean hospital gown for him and they carefully redressed him. She sighed when he still didn't react. 

Midnight leaned over to her, "Do I need to set him up with an IV?" he whispered.

She nodded, he probably wasn't going to eat by himself for some time. Dr. Midnight set him up then and left to go write up a report and a schedule. 

He sighed a little- taking one last look at Black Canary's determined face and the kids blank eyes. 

 

They were in for one hell of a ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortness again! I just can't seem to write very much to save my life :/


	14. Reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time.

March 15th: Day 4 since Rescue

When Wally finally became coherent enough to be talked to- it wasn't much better. 

He wasn't exactly unresponsive. He flinched when anyone reached towards him or when anyone talked to him. He had come to and made eye contact with Dinah, who was the only one in the room with him, and his eyes immediately widened before saddening. He looked crushed and Dinah felt a lump catch in her throat at the idea that he thought that another clone was made to torture him. After the hurt and confusion flashed across his face a blank mask fell back into place so quickly that she was afraid that he zoned out again.

He didn't though and just stared at her with his broken emerald eyes. 

"Wally." She began, watching his flinch carefully.

"You were rescued four days ago from Cadmus labs. We are aware that you are not inclined to believe this because of the three...attempts...that Cadmus pulled on you to make your mental health deteriorate."

She watched his face closely. He was skeptical- of course- and looked to not be paying attention but was actually soaking up everything she said to him. She gives pause before continuing.

"I'm...aware that this will be slow process because of your deserved mistrust. But...in hopes to convince you that we're your true friends and family we're letting you be in control of your own life again."

'Nothing crazy' she thought to herself, imagining him loose around... sharp objects when frightened.

"If you have any questions, or requests you need to only ask. A new room. Clothes. Its your life."

He still said nothing and had an unreadable expression on his face. She pulled out some files and tries to move them onto his lap. THAT gets him to react. 

He flinches and pulls his hands to his chest, curling in on himself.

She continues to calmly pulls some files onto the bed without invading most of his space before shifting back into her seat. "These are the pictures we took in the laboratory's and the different...cells. As you noticed quickly, your kidnappers are cadmus clones. What you might not know is that they were created by Lex Luthor. He wanted to take the secrets of the speedforce from you. The speedforce is the power that connects speedsters and gives you guys your speed. The Flash and Batman clones were...as you know...programmed with the knowledge to steal these secrets from you. There were so many clones because Luthor thought that it would be more...amusing for him."

She waits- swallowing as Wally takes in all her words.

His eyes quickly flick to all the pictures laid out before honing back in on her face. Waiting.

Waiting for her to reveal everything was a lie. Waiting to be hurt again. Waiting for it to just be over with.

She breathes out. 

"Are you hungry? Tired?"

He doesn't indicate that he's heard her but simply waits.

She stands and he curls up tighter. 

"Help is a button push away." She says pointing to the 'call' button next to his bed. "Food and water are in the fridge and cupboards. Sleep...well. Sleep well Kid Flash. Its good to have you back. We're here for you."

She leaves and feels his empty eyes on her back the whole time.

\---

He doesn't end up eating much. 

But he gets curious and hungry- probably wondering why he was being left alone for so long before someone came in and yanked a rug out from under him.

He nibbles on some granola bars and sips on some water before curling into a tight ball and falling into a fitful sleep.

Dinah watches most of this on the monitors before sighing and scrubbing a hand over her face.

\---

March 16th: Day 5 since Rescue

"Hello Wally. I'm happy to see that your legs are doing better."

He fidgets and his eyes flicker down to his legs nervously. --Probably worried she was teasing him and about to break them.

He's been fidgety all day and Dinah think that five days must be the longest that he's ever been allowed to HEAL before it all starts again. He doesn't know what this means but is apprehensive as hell.

"Wally... I don't wish to frighten you but..." His mask falls back into place and Dinah wonders if he feels triumphant for not allowing himself to hope. "But today I'm going to start bringing in visitors. Your friends and family have been falling apart with you gone. If at any point you feel anxious or it feels like to much you can say so. We can so as slow as you like."

She feels her heart clench. "We only want whats best for you."

She waits. But he doesn't say anything. 

She didn't expect him to.

"Barry? You may come in now."

'And you'd better do it slowly like we talked about' she grumbles to herself. Thankfully he seems to have gotten the more-than-a-hint and walks in costume free and with a apprehensive smile on his face.

Wally tenses and grips the blanket in his fists immediately bowing his head so no one can see his face. Barry continues to walk over slowly and sits down next to Dinah. 

"Hey Wally." He says softly, but it only makes Wally flinch. 

Barry bites his lip and casts a helpless glance at her.

"Okay. Um. Colds in prison?" 

Nothing.

"Yeah. Jay ended up catching him for me because I was looking for you. Should've seen Colds face when an old man showed him up." Barry gave a poor imitation of a laugh before continuing. "It wasn't just Jay. Trickster helped. He's been worried about you. Doesn't believe the cover story we made to protect you." Barry bites his lips again when there's not a single movement or sound from Wally.

Not that he expected there to be. He wasn't exactly providing 'proof' that he was out- just trying to make idle conversation to ease his nerves. 

"Um. Your aunt made cookies." A soft intake of breath. Barry casts another glance at Dinah before shifting forward the littlest bit. "And brownies. And cake. Anything really-- all your favorites. Shes been so worried. And you know how she bakes when shes stressed."

They see tears softly fall onto the blanket that he still has in a death grip on and his body starts to shake faintly.

Barry brows furrow in concern and instinctively reaches out before Dinah can stop him.

Wally hugs his knees and practically folds in half in order to hide his face and get smaller before some sobs make there way through despite the fact that hes trying to be silent; hes shaking so hard now that he's almost vibrating and Dinah decides that thats enough visitors for now.

"Barry. Leave please."

Her friend looks crushed but he smartly leaves, casting a sad glance to his nephew before leaving the medbay.

She stays close to him but does not comfort him-- he's not ready yet.

He eventually cries himself dry and she's there to hand him a warm up of chicken noodle soup.

His eyes are distrustful and broken but he takes the cup with shaking hands and sips slowly. Mind never wavering as long as she was in such close vicinity without- doing anything.

He looked around and Dinah wondered how... aware he was during his breakdown.

\---

"Wally? Do you think you can handle another visitor? Or do you think you're done for the day?"

He doesn't answer. She waits for a moment- not wanting to force him to speak. 

"I'll let you rest." She decides. She knows the team and others will be devastated but this wasn't about them right now. "Get some sleep Wally. Tomorrow we'll try some more visitors."

\---

March 17th: Day 6 since Rescue

"Wally? Your Aunt Diana and Shayera been quite persistent in visiting. How does that sound."

No answer. It was about noon. 

She would have gotten started earlier. But he had been 'zoned out' for most of the day. She had caught him coherent and offered food. Trying to draw him out some more. 

He nibbled on some crackers and his lack of appetite made her nervous.

"Diana. Shayera. One of you may come in."

She almost regretted not calling one of them because she was sure a scuffle would start between the two proud women. But she was surprised when Shayera walked in only a few moments after she called.

Diana must feel like Shayera deserves it more. Because she knew him longer.

 

The hawk-like woman tried to appear 'non-threatening' and had (thankfully) left her mace outside.

Wally flinched when he saw her but didn't curl up this time.

Shayera tried to start small talk (about the league gossip, weapons talk, Thanagar cuisine)- not used to having to fill the silence between them- and smiled at him before silently excusing herself.

There may have been tears running down her face... but Dinah would never ask.

Diana comes in next. The proud goddess practically filling the room- as usual.

But she sat down calmly and surprised Dinah by talking softly.

(About what she has learned about science, about mans world, about pop culture.)

But while she was surprisingly quiet, she didn't seem to remember that touching wasn't okay-

"Small child? Do wish to chime in-"

She touches his shoulder.

 

And visiting ended for the day-- to say the least.

\---

March 18th: Day 7 since Rescue

"Hey Wall-man." Said Ollie. Looking like he wanted to be a million miles away from here. 

Oliver smiles at him- and Wally actually looks up this time.

His eyes are sunken in and red rimmed. His dull green eyes bore into Oliver's hazel green ones. 

"Please." He whispers. "Just...stop."

Oliver looks lost and Dinah tries not to surge forward.

"Wally. Wally. It's not another trick. Just tell me what you need. Anything. A news paper. The internet. What?"

Some of those things had been GIVEN- by her- but maybe... if he chose to see it himself.

Wallys eyes stare into her, and tears well up before--

\--he's gone again.

\---

March 19th: Day 8 since Rescue

"Kid Flash." Says Batman (Bruce now) seriously. "Wally." He tries again at Dinah's glance.

This times there's no wait- not hesitation- before burrowing back into his mind.

 

And Dinah's terrified that his moments of coherency are dwindling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA YAASS I WORKED SO HARD MWHAHA
> 
> Okay but seriously I hope its not to sad ;)
> 
> I'm going to go through the peeps with the clones (the team will come soon, promise) before going through Wallys thoughts through this whole thing. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed <3 <3 <3


	15. Reactions part 2: Roy

March 22nd: Day 11 since Rescue

Three days later was the next time he was coherent enough to be talked to.

Three days.

"Hey Wally." Roy whispered as Wally looked at him with wide green eyes. His hands were shaking and his jaw shut with a 'click' determined not to make a sound.

Roy's usual angry and defensive disposition was replaced with a softer side that surprised Dinah. But it didn't seem to be doing any good anyway. It just made Wally more afraid. Made him think that the clones were just trying to hurt him extra hard this time. That at any moment his 'older brother' was going to flip and *hurt* him like the clone had done. Held him- made him claustrophobic under the cover of 'comforting'- waited until he was broken into pieces before putting the blame on him- all while posing perfectly as his older brother. 

It made Dinah's heart heavy to see Wally so afraid. She wanted him to-- at least-- be willing to fight. Because if he was fighting- attacking- yelling- anything it would be easier to convince him that he was safe. Unlike now where he was just... afraid. Unlike now where he just zoned out... where even telepaths couldn't get him.

She was terrified.

She was terrified that one day he would just... not come back.

"Wally. I'm- I'm so glad you're safe now." Roy breathed out like he didn't know what to say. Understandable. Wally flinches and a sob escapes him. He's shaking his head over and over.

"Walls..." Roy whispers- and stands up, backing away from him quickly as if burned.

Wally calms down now that Roy isn't next to him and Roy raises his hands in surrender.

Dinah leans forward, "Wally. I need you to listen to me. If you refuse to listen us... how will you ever believe you've been rescued?" 

Roy nods and comes forward a bit- "What do you need; what do we need to do? Anything Wally and it's yours."

Wally's breath quickened and he looked between both of them with panic in his green eyes before backing up into the headboard again.

When Dinah reaches forward out of instinct and Wally's eyes widen before his eyes roll back- his chest still heaving- the heart monitor he was hooked up to going crazy.

"Roy! Get the Doctor!" Dinah shouts as she pulls Wally onto his back- hoping it will help his breathing.

Roy startles, "Dr. Midnight! DR!!!"

Dr. Midnight runs in- eyes widening at the sight.

"MOVE!" He shouts at both of them- pushing Dinah out of the way as he lifts Wally up.

\---


	16. Reactions part 3: Physical Stimulus and Hope?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> M'gann, Conner, and Artemis <3

March 27th: Day 16 since Rescue

After Wally's attack- Dinah gave him two days to recover physically and give him time to orient himself mentally. She meant to talk to him again after those two days. But for three days he was zoned out again. 

She waited. And waited. But he did nothing. Just sat there with glazed over eyes- didn't eat or anything. He would have starved if it weren't for the IV's. 

"J'onn?" She asked the Martian on the Watchtower- after giving Barry an update once again. "Can you explain why Wally had such a violent attack the other day? And how I can help him?" 

If the Martian was prone to sighing he might have now. Him and Dinah (and Barry and Batman and Diana and Shayera and-) have already talked about Kid Flashes mental state. 

Only he can save himself- but, admittedly, he needs help from his family.

"He has to be... removed from the situation in order to bury himself. If he has to many physical stimulus than it's harder. He had an anxiety attack around Red Arrow- prompting him to pass out instead of bury himself. His body would not let himself 'zone out' because his survival instincts demanded that he breath."

Dinah nods- looking uneasy. 

"Alright."

\---

'Physical Stimulus' she repeated to herself.

"Hey Wally." She said, lightly clasping his hands. His breathing quickens but he doesn't zone out or pass out because there wasn't a Black Canary clone to prompt an episode like the other days. 

He tries to take his hands back- muscles twitching in apprehension. 

"Wally. We're having more visitors again. I'm going through all the people who were cloned- then I'll do everyone else that wants to see you."

His face is mostly blank- only a flicker of fear and another twitch of his arms as he tries to take his hands back again.

"Your team misses you. I know you had all of them in the room with you on the night of your rescue. But I don't want to overwhelm you. Who do you want to see?"

There was no answer. She calls in M'gann. The...tamest of the teens.

The younger Martian floats into the room. Carrying in a tray of new baked goods. A new calorie bar recipe. 

She gives Wally a winning smile. And passes one over to him- while Dinah takes her hands back so he can eat. 

She also takes one- so he knows its not poisoned. M'gann grins at him and sits semi close to him, setting the tray on both of their laps.

Physical Stimulus.

He flinches with every bite and noise but eventually gets all of the one bar down.

After M'gann leaves- with some tears in her eyes- Dinah doesn't give him a moment to bury himself again before shes sending in the next teen.

Conner. 

Wally's breath stutters and he tries to curl in on himself but Dinah simply rests a hand on his back making him flinch but not panic. 

She counts this as a win.

Conner comes closer and smiles, muttering a "Hey" at Wally placing one of Wally's hands in his. 

Physical Stimulus.

He's not holding his hand- just resting there. 

Dinah doesn't understand but Wally seems to.

Tears gather in his eyes and he yanks his hand back- "Get away! Jus-s-st stop trying to trick me already- S-sstop." He's sobbing again and gripping his hair and rocking back and forth, back and forth. And Conner and Dinah can't say anything because he's sobbing over and over. 

Dinah eventually has to sedate him out of fear for his well being.

\---

Later that Day:

"Superboy?" She calls to the teen- who was currently beating up a defenseless punching bag. "May I speak with you?"

He nods and comes over, glaring at the floor. 

"What happened in there today? I know I asked all of you to be more physical than before- but what was that in the medbay?"

Conner waits a moment, blushing slightly.

"Its something Wally would do with me." He mumbles looking at the ground. 

Dinah raises an eyebrow, prompting him to continue.

He kicks the ground with his toe, denting it slightly. 

"When I get mad or look upset or something... Wally would place my palm on his... let me trace it. Did you know he doesn't scar? I'm not supposed to either... but because I'm half human I do when the wounds really bad. I guess he thought I was just messing with him today." He deflated a bit and Dinah hugs him. 

"Its okay Conner. You did something special that only you two know... It was smart. If we had rescued him earlier maybe it would have been enough to convince him he was safe."

 

'Maybe it would have been enough'

 

Then what is enough?

\---

March 28th: Day 17 since Rescue

Wally looked exhausted. Dinah knows he hardly slept a wink last night and would usually let him recoup. But she doesn't shes afraid of leaving him for to long. Shes afraid of his ability to just... leave.

Shes holding one of his hands this time- intertwining their fingers.

Physical Stimulus.

His eyes are blood shot and the dark circles under them have gotten worse. 

His eyes glaze over periodically, like he's trying to zone out, but she squeezes his hand a bit- ignoring his flinch. 

Artemis walks in and smiles over at him a little pained.

She sits next to him and tries to sling an arm over him like she usually does but it comes out awkward and clunky. 

He whimpers slightly and tries to curl up and away from her. 

Artemis is completely silent; unlike everyone else that came in she does nothing to convince Wally. Eventually he uncurls from his hunched position and Dinah almost talks to him before Artemis puts a finger over her lips and points at his face.

He's asleep.

Dinah carefully takes her hand back from Wally and watches him unconsciously curl into Artemis's warmth. 

The three of them stay like that for several hours- Dinah working on Wally's file on her tablet, Artemis reading a book for school while holding Wally close and Wally sleeping soundly for probably the first time since he was rescued.

Maybe when he wakes up they'll be one step closer. 

\---


	17. Reaction Part 4: Over and Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick doesn't touch Wally.
> 
> It didn't matter.

March 29th: Day 18 since Rescue

Wally rocks back and forth and sobs over and over again. 

"Please. Please just stop. Please. I'm _begging_ you."

Dinah holds him close, despite his struggles and whispers that he's safe over and over again.

The former Kid Flash sobs wretchedly into her chest over and over again.

Over and over again.

Over and over.

\---

March 30th: Day 19 since Rescue

Kaldur keeps a respectful distant between the two of them but smiles warmly at Wally. He pulls his chair closer and speaks to him about training, missions, Atlantis, anything. Wally stares at him with barley concealed fear. 

Kaldur hums and hands him a book.

'Science and Magic Entangled: The Atlantean Story'. Its in english and atlantean and Dinah frowns, wondering why Wally would want something like that. 

"Remember Wally?" Kaldur murmurs pressing forward. "We talked about this book after the Fate incident? I found one with english so you can read it."

Wally sways and quickly darts over to where a trash bin is laying and vomits all the food he's been able to get down up. 

Dinah leads Kaldur away and walks over to Wally. 

He's zoned out again.

Dinah tries to bring him back over and over again.

Over and over again.

Over and over.

\---

March 31st: Day 20 since Rescue

Dinah spends her whole day shaking the thin boy over and over. Begging him to come back, come out of his own head, _please_.

Shaking him over and over again.

Over and over again.

Over and over.

\---

March 32nd: Day 21 since Rescue

Dick walks into the room slowly and deliberately; his hands raised in surrender.

Wallys eyes tear up and he hides his face in his hands, shoulders shaking despairingly.

Dick sits across from him while Dinah rubs circles into Wally's back.

He cries himself dry and blankly stares at him.

"Wa-lly." he croaks, throat closing up. "Walls, I know you don't want to hope anymore- but we came for you Wally. You have to believe that we would never give up on you."

The redhead makes a choked and wounded sound in the back of his throat. He's shaking his head over and over, murmuring pleas under his breath. 

Dick remembers Wonder Woman's whispered, _'He's insane'_ , during the meeting on the Watchtower and tears gather in his own eyes.

 

Insane.

 

He's whimpering pleas to him over and over again.

'Please just get it over with'

'Please don't say that'

'Please make her leave before...'

'Please'

'Please'

'Please'

Over and over again.

Over and over.


	18. Giving up on Wally?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okey so I was going through the beginning chapters of the story (and cringing at my writing from a year ago XD) and I think I forgot to write something??? Idk so in case I didn't get around to it-- the rooms in the lower levels of the labs were replicas of places close to Wally. (obvi the med bay, dicks room, and the watchtower cause i actually wrote those) but theres also Hals apartment and the batcave and the fortress of solitude and dianas house etc. And some torture + not!dick/wally happened in all of those places.

March 39th: Day 28 since Rescue

(One week after Dick's visit; Wally has been There the entire time)

"Perhaps..." Started Etrigan. "It's time to consider that the boy... _isn't_ going to get better."

Dinah glares at him. "He's been **traumatized** Blood. He needs time."

"Its been nearly thirty days. We can't waste every single Leaguers time on this boy. Our missions have practically halted. And those that ARE going on missions rush back as fast as they can just to check up on the boy."

"That boy has won his way into almost everyone's hearts; and there's not a SINGLE doubt in my mind that he could have thawed even _yours_ out if--"

"If he weren't broken you mean. Face it Black Canary- the boy you all knew? He's _gone._ "

Before Dinah could retort, Hal Jordan came running down the halls, yelling "Dinah! Dinah!" 

He stopped next to her. "So you know how I've been searching for Luthor and haven't had time to visit Wally? Well I was thinking-"

"Yes Hal. You can visit him. I just...need him to come back to reality first." Etrigan sends her a _look_ when she says that. "It should be soon." She said, hoping she sounded more confident than she was.

"No. Well yeah that what I wanted. But thats not what I was thinking! I thought of something while I was casing the labs in the amazon and again when I was--"

"Spit it out Jordan." Blood mutters.

 

"I think I have a plan to convince him."

\---

March 41st: Day 30 since Rescue

"Okay Wally." Dinah says soothingly. "We're going somewhere today."

The redhead swayed slightly on his unsteady feet but said nothing. His body had been eating through the IV's like crazy but he was still gaunt and terribly sick looking.

"You see, Hal's been hearing about how you haven't been able to believe any of us that you've been rescued. So he thinks he has a way to _show_ you."

She hands him some warmer clothes and he looks at them with unease. She turns around, giving him privacy. He doesn't give any indication that he's changed so she waits an extra ten minutes.

When she turns around, he looks confused as to why she gave him privacy. He thought she was just going to take him when SHE was ready. He didn't say he was ready because he thought that it wouldn't matter to her.

Her heart hurt but she plasters a reassuring smile onto her face. "It's okay Wally."

She intertwines their fingers together and leads him slowly out the door of the med bay. "Okay Wally, I know you're not at your strongest right now; so if you need to stop and breath or you need help just tell me."

She watches him take semi sure steps, following her fearfully but dutifully. "We're heading into the living room. Your Uncle Barry and Hal are there." She says giving him a heads up. 

Wally gulps and his steps fumble making Dinah's own confidence falter. Jason Bloods words the other day had struck a cord within her. 

When they're right out side of the Mountains living room Wallys steps slow until they're practically stopped. "It's alright Wally. See? Look around you. The clones couldn't make an entire mountain in there little laboratory could they?" Wallys lip trembles and he sways again. Dinah doesn't quite scoop him up- more like makes him lean on her heavily. 

They walk into the living room where Barry- as Flash- and Hal are there in an obviously strained conversation.

Wallys breathing picked up slightly but he wasn't able to zone out as long as she held his hand. "Okay Hal? You wanted to see your nephew."

Hal comes over and lightly hugs Wally, who stiffened but didn't push him away out of fear. "Hey Wally. Its okay. See? Everything's fine." Hal stands and Wally takes an instinctive step back, hands raising as if to cover himself. Hal takes another step back. "Okay bud. I'm going to put the four of us in a bubble and we're going to go take a trip. Over Mt. Justice and back. Quick and easy."

His ring glows and the bubble of green surrounds all of them, recognition flares up in Wallys eyes and Dinah mentally praised Hal for thinking of this. The clones didn't have the means to mimic something like a lanterns power. 

Hal lifts them into the air and Barry has to help Wally keep steady. He has his yellow boots in his hands and laughs. "Remember Wally? We gotta keep our yellow off of Uncle Hals bubble here. Or the big bad lanterns construct will get destroyed."

"Oh please Flash. We all know you speedsters weakness is the worst. Two words. Speed bumps. One trip and ya'll go flying."

"Whatever. I'm graceful AF. And yellow is definitely a worse weakness."

"Eww. Did you just say 'AF'?" Dinah interrupted. "What are you Flash? Fifteen?"

"Wally got me into the habit." He said knocking his shoulder ever-so-slightly into Wally's. He flinches.

"Alright." Hal says. " **Neither** of us have the worst weakness." He pauses. "Because Superman's is the worst."

Black Canary and Flash laugh; and Dinah may be crazy but she thinks Wally may or may not have cracked a smile.

"I think Green Arrows is the worst." Flash says mock seriously. "His is BC over here."

Dinah raises an eyebrow, "Oh really? And what about Batman's?"

Barry and Hal look at her like she's grown another head, " _Batman's_ weakness?" Hal says incredulously.

Dinah nods seriously and drops her voice to a dramatic whisper as if he could appear right in front of them despite the fact that they were in a green bubble coming up on the tip of the mountain. (not that she put it past him)

"Emotional confrontation." 

Barry and Hal wait a moment as her words sink in before cracking up.

Dinah looks at Wally who has a small smile on his face- the first shes seen in thirty days. When his dull green eyes find hers the smile drops immediately and his face is as blank as he can get without zoning out. 

They come up at the top of the mountain and Dinah points outside of their bubble so Wally can turn and see. He looks around uncertainly. The redheads breath catches at the sight before him.

Happy Harbor is under him the mountain is there clear as day. His widened eyes take in the sight of the sun and the outdoors and his second home through the green bubble constructed by his Uncle.

Barry looks down at his nephews face, hoping that he'll _see_ something. He wants to see his nephew and he wants his nephew to see that he's **free**. 

Hot tears are streaming down his nephews sunken in cheeks. He reaches a hand out to steady his nephew.

 

And Wally collapses.

\---

March 56th: Day 45 since Rescue

(15 days after the trip outside of the mountain)

"I don't understand it Helena." Dinah says over her black coffee in the Watchtower cafeteria. "He was doing so well. He _smiled._ We were getting through to him. Its been fifteen days and he's still locked himself in his own head. What am I supposed to do when he comes out? Try again? What if he doesn't come out next time...let alone this time."

Huntress pats her hand. "Lance; you have put in so much work. You look like you haven't slept a wink. Maybe he needs some time to recoup on his own, let him process everything without being right there next to him?" 

Dinah nods. "I guess that may help."

"What else is bothering you." Her old friends says trying and failing to come across with innocent curiosity.

"Something Etrigan said awhile back." She says lower, not wanting any _eavesdroppers_ to hear this. "He wants us to give on him. Put him in a facility or something. Where they can pull the plug." Helena frowns and looks vaguely murderous. "And I think some others are starting to agree with him."

She sighs. "Those that aren't close to Wally don't understand why we're trying so hard and are sort of upset about all the work going in around here for him. And even those who ARE close to him are starting to suspect that he's not savable."

"Do you agree with them?" Helena asks monotonously. 

"I think he's savable." She says fiercely.

"But."

"But I think I see where people are coming from with the work. Bloods right about the missions and people distraction. And you even just said that maybe he needs time by himself."

Helena clasps her hand again. "If...if he's not savable Dinah. Don't let anyone," Barry "put the blame on you. You're still trying. You're the only one whose an expert on psychs whose willingly to spend this long with the boy. You're his only hope. But that doesn't mean you can do the impossible."

Dinah nods, thankful for her friend.

\---

She stands before the Justice League and Young Justice and Roy. Her face was stoic, having cried herself dry hours earlier. 

 

"Kid Flash is no longer a patient at Mt. Justice. He's being moved to a classified location. Visitors will no longer be allowed."


	19. Moving (Wallys POV part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be writing Wallys pov over a long period of time; and he won't be _aware_ of the exact time passings so it will be jumbled up and odd (like an unreliable narrator)-- will do a more in depth and organized version from others point of view late (after i finish wally)

He didn't bother looking not-Dinah in the eyes as she smiled at him sadly.

"We're going on another trip today Wally." Her voice cracks. "Actually...it's not just for today... You're. You're being moved. Okay?"

He doesn't answer. What's the point?

She did look awfully sad today though. More than normal; like she cared about him and he was terminally ill or something. If he cared about others like he used to he might have asked her what was wrong. 

He doesn't ask.

She leads him through the not-Mountain until they get to a 'jet'. He boards it behind her. No one's there. No one visited him. He feels relief hit him at the thought. He can't handle their visits.

Not-Black Canary has him sit down and instructs him gently to strap in. He follows the orders robotically; allowing himself to get as close to not thinking at he could without going 'There'. Not-Dinah is piloting the ship and the 'mountain' disappears under his feet. 

If any of this were real he might have picked up on the fact that they were going north. Where the evergreens grow. They disappear into the clouds and Wally lets himself sink down into the soft mindlessness that his psych offered. He was safe there. Away from the blue of the sky and the white of the clouds and the hum of the jet beneath his feet and the 'swish' of the golden locks in front of him.

He drifts in and out but when the world comes back into focus its dark and they're descending. The trees had gotten thicker and they're everywhere. They surround the landed jet like soldiers in the night. He doesn't like them. 

He doesn't like this 'trip'. It makes those old _feelings_ of despair claw up to the forefront of his mind. They remind him of when he cared. When he cared who touched him and who hit him and when he was convinced that deserved anything more than what the clones gave him. He hasn't _felt_ anything since he gave up. 

Giving up had been so easy hadn't it?

When he gave up-- his life had just fell into place. The feelings of constant fear waned because he didn't *care* what happened to him any more. When he didn't care about his real friends rescuing him, the punches, and needles, and **touches** , they didn't matter as much anymore. 

He concerns weren't with escaping...they were just with living from day to day.

And now this 'Black Canary' was trying to pull him back. 

She was trying to drag him back from the safe place that he's made for himself. She was tugging him into a mindset that allowed **fear** to command his life once again. She was yanking him back into being someone like Kid Flash.

**_No._ **

Never again.

His head pounds and dizziness disorientates him; they've been in this 'plane' for hours. Sleepiness makes his eye lids heavy but he forces one foot in front of the other. 'Canary's' hand on his back is a warning to keep moving forward. Or else. 

He's not foolish enough to think that she won't drop her act. And just because he just wants her to, _get it over with_ , doesn't mean he wants to be punished for disobeying.

 _'An absence of pain is a treat Wally'_. Not-M'gann's voice rings somewhere in the back of his head and he flinches. An absence of the clones in his cell was a treat. He reminds himself dutifully. An absence of lab table was a treat. An absence of _'unwanted sexual intercourse'_ was a _treat_ Wallace.

Treat. Treat. Treat.

Small mercy's. He would take them when he deserved them. Just like not-M'gann told him to. 

Just listen. Don't fight back. Don't run. Don't . Don't. Don't.

They left the plane behind them in the clearing and walked up a gravel drive. His vision blurred and his lungs burned. 

He longed for this simulation to end. For the curtains to be called and for the labs and cells and familiarity to come back.

He longed for reality because it meant his subconscious wouldn't working against him.

He air feels crisp. He breathes. He wonders how they're doing this.

It won't matter in the end but its the thought that counts. 

A building comes into view.

Its small-ish. With windows and a big gray door and white/tan exterior. It looks...modern. Its clean and empty looking. 

It takes a moment before the shapes begin to make sense. They connect with old memories and thoughts.

Its a house.

House.

It makes him stop.

The house looks like its looming over him. It's a chopping block or the gallows. It represents a sanity that his insane mind can't process. 

Its a house.

Innocent on the outside. And maybe the inside. Outside inside. Funny words. They were funny. What did they even mean. What did any of this mean.

This meant that the game wasn't up. They were unrelenting in their pursuit to drag him back from his safety. This is what it must mean. Its looming above him still. Unmoving. Mocking him with its sanity. Its serene calm. 

It was a balance that he wasn't allowed to have anymore. 

It would make ripping him apart at the seams even more delightful for the clones wouldn't it?

Innocent on the outside. While Wally was impure on the inside. Maybe they were twins. Maybe on the inside was not-M'gann and her directions, or not-Conner and his bloodied knuckles, or not-Artemis and her dull knife, or not-Kaldur and the bitter bleach. Maybe on the inside was not-Roy with a slow press of fingers in his windpipe waiting for him. 

Maybe on the inside was not-Hal with a lighter, flame prepared just for him. Maybe on the inside was not-Ollie with cool reminders of his parents said brightly into his ear. Maybe on the inside was not-Shayera with a broken beer bottle, grinning as his blood pooled under him just like it did all those years ago. Maybe on the inside was not-Diana with a mock sympathetic look in her eyes as she tightened the inhibitor collar on him. Maybe on the inside was not- Mr. Wayne-call-be-Bruce with hand plunged deep inside his chest listening to him begging to be put under. 

Maybe on the inside was not-Uncle Barry with sigh and a midwestern drawl, saying 'you should have committed suicide when you had the chance'. Maybe on the inside was not-Robin waiting for him with a kiss and daisy's- meaning innocence, loyal love, purity, and faith.

"Wally?" Came a whisper from behind him.

What was on the inside wasn't going to be figured out tonight. 

The green grass was so comfy beneath his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((So all the things wally thought might be waiting for him are things that have happened before))
> 
> If you didn't catch the broken beer bottle part or the committing suicide bit or olivers part. I'm saying that wallys parents abused him and rudolph hit him (around age 9ish?) with a beer bottle one night almost killing him. As he was dying Wally contemplated not calling for help and just dying because he was afraid of what rudolph might do if he lived and told the police. The thought of dying scares him so much that he called Barry and the rest is history. 
> 
> So I hope that makes the above things make sense. Also! The daisys. (Innocence, loyal love, purity, faith) these are literally things Wally doesn't have anymore so not-Robin teases him by showing him exactly what he doesn't have anymore and by giving him flowers. A gift a _boyfriend_ might give. 
> 
> http://www.architecturebeast.com/top-50-modern-house-designs-ever-built/
> 
> The Tenth one down is the house thats inspiring the one that we've just seen. 
> 
> Hope y'all have a great morning/day/afternoon/evening/night!!!
> 
> MORE TO COME SOON :) :) :) :)


	20. I Remember (Wallys POV part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember the places that are compromised: The Flash's home, Wayne Manor, The Batcave, Queen Mansion, the Fortress of Solitude, Green Arrow's 'Quiver', Hal Jordon's Apartment, Roy Harper's safe house in San Francisco, on top of the Mt. Justice medlab and rooms and the Watchtower

When he woke up he was on a bed.

Odd.

He shakes himself from the constant drained feeling and pulls himself out form underneath the flannel covers. Its growing dark out side of the window by his bed. Evening.

He looks around the room he's being kept in; dark wood floors cover the large space. The walls are white and the lights above him are turned off. The light from outside isn't quite enough to stretch to the far corners but the fairy lights strung around the room make up for it. They tinkle lightly and innocently- they make him shiver. The door on the far side it ajar and the one to the right of him is open all the way. Inside of that one is a bathroom. With pale blue tiles and yellow ducks on the shower curtains.

He doesn't recognize _anything_.

He remembers Dick's room in Wayne Manor. With the forever-messy-desk, the blue bedspread, and the one light bulb thats always burnt out. The pictures of Dick's parents, him and Dick as kids, him and Dick when they started dating, him and Bruce and Alfred. The poster of The Flying Grayson's on his wall, the Batman and Robin themed curtains Wally got him as a gag gift. He remembers not-Dick leading him into the room and lying him down onto the bed gently, whispering sweet insanitys into his ear before taking his virginity.

But this isn't 'Wayne Manor'.

He remembers the Batcave. With the calming hum of computers and other machines, and the rustle of leather wings up above, the small squeaks, the cavernous space scary at first before becoming familiar, and the rushing of water somewhere off in the distance, the roar of the batmobile, the swishing of capes, the humming of 'God Save the Queen' from Alfred, and the dripping of beakers and such from the laboratory off in the corner, and the small clicking of computer keys. He remembers the replica batcave. He remembers screaming into the cavernous space until he was sure (if there were actual bats in there) they would have all flown away in frustration. He remembers thrashing on the table while sobbing at the sound of God Save the Queen and at the light swishing of capes. He remembers not-Robin coming forward out of the shadows and slotting himself on top of his tired and trembling form- cackling lightly at him. He remembers not-Robin's cape falling over them both like a blanket as he fisted his red locks tightly; forcing him backwards to expose his neck.

But this isn't the 'Batcave'.

He remembers Hals apartment. With the take out everywhere, the suspicious stain in the far corner of the 70s carpet, the beat up couch, the sometimes-worked-sometimes-didn't stove top, and the tacky apple themed wallpaper. He remembers not-Hals replica. The clone had held a knife over the stove, and oh! the _detail_. The stove gave its signature rattle before slowly heating up. The clone stood over him with his hot knife...and added to the stains on the floor. He remembers not-Robin pushing him down onto a replica of Hal's beat up old couch and entering him swiftly- not preparing him at all. His muscles didn't want to give and he felt like he had been splitting apart.

But this isn't not-Hal's apartment.

He remembers Roy's favorite safe house. The skinny house on a hill in San Francisco. Pastel green with white trimming. Domestic. If it weren't for the secret arsenal. But whatever. Small things. He remembers the spot on the roof with a view better than the highest peak-- in Wally's humble opinion-- because you could see the sun rise and the bridge and you could eat smores with your older bro while he claims to be 'on a look out pest- stop distracting me' but will eat smores with him and comment on the colors the sky has that day. He remembers waking up to the smell of smores and clone grinning at him when he comments- 'the sunrise is so pretty today' and laughs because he knows that he'll never see the light of day again. He remembers not-Robin pulling him down into not-Roy's hidden arsenal before handcuffing him to the table. He pulled a whip out from the wall and whispered; "How long until you beg for me to take you?"

But this isn't not-Roy's safe house.

He remembers Ollie's penthouse. Of running through the halls with paintball guns or water guns with Roy. The tacky striped wallpaper and the plush popcorn-and-beer-stained couch. The super high bar stools; where no matter how tall you were your feet would always dangle. The subtle Navajo themed arrow curtains. The gallons and gallons of orange juice and Dinah's trusted french vanilla creamer in the fridge. The peppermint smelling scentsy in the living room and the smell of axe oozing out of Roy's old room. Dinah's books, and Oliver's and Roy's movies on the shelves. The one light bulb that was always burnt out. He remembers not-Ollie dragging the tip of an arrow over his stomach; the blood running down his ashy skin faster and faster with every moment. He remembered not-Robin gripping the sides of his face and sliding his length down his throat; groaning at the sight of his salty tears streaming down his face. He remembered choking on his not-boyfriends spunk, gagging, and sobbing, and trying to swallow everything.

But this isn't not-Ollie's penthouse.

He remembered Superman's Fortress of Solitude. The towering columns of ice, the glittering of crystals all around the noble fortress. It was magnificent to the point of terrifying, and didn't feel homey like the others. He had only been allowed once during his _first_ year as Kid Flash; because of an invasion problem. It had dizzying heights and two statues as tall as Metropolises greatest buildings. It was different than the Batcave because the Batcave was mysterious and the shadows hid the unknown. The Fortress of Solitude was bright to the point of blinding and hid nothing. It was like it knew how great it was and didn't need to pretend in the slightest. He remembered not-Superman floating them up into the air; the ground so far below them that he felt the panic attack squeezing his heart before he had even processed what was happening. He didn't think he had been afraid of heights before; but when his legs dangled above the statues he felt tears sting his eyes and his whole body tremble. His head throbs and he bites his lip so hard it bleeds. He sweat his body weight and gripped onto the hand holding him with desperation. The clone would wait until he passed out from fear before letting him wake up on the sweet sweet floor. He was a speedster; he needed the ground-- not the air. He remembered not-Robin grinding his boot into his back, hissing "Did I give you permission to resist me? No? I thought so." before thrusting into him. Right there in the bright light surrounding them; no shadows no darkness no nothing. 

But this isn't the 'Fortress of Solitude'.

He remembered Green Arrow's 'Quiver'. The secret armory somewhere near Queen Industries main cooperate building. Arrows and bows lined the walls-- along with extra costumes, first aid supplies, tools, and 'secret' -unofficial- JL porn of the female super heroes. He remembers zipping back and forth as Speedy tried to hit him with his arrows. He remembers one of the times he _succeeded_ \-- he remembered Oliver's worry as he cleaned his shoulder wound muttering over and over 'he's gonna kill me, i've nearly killed his nephew, he's gonna kill me'. He remembered doing Speedy and Robin's chemistry homework while Robin did their math and Speedy did their social studies. (They ignored english...who even needs that class?!) He remembered watching Speedy and GA fiddle with arrows while they rattle on about all the things he could do for their arrows --with chemistry! He remembers not-Artemis, not-Speedy, and not-Green Arrow letting their arrows pierce his shoulder without care as to what nerves they damaged. He remembers the burn of chemicals on his skin. He remembers the scraping of tools over his bloodied face...tools meant for _building bows and arrows_. Not amateur surgery. He remembers not-Robin bending him over the work bench before taking him so sweetly. Hitting his prostate over and over until his throat was screamed raw for a different reason than usual. He remembers catching breath and the shame building up in his chest- forcing a sob out of him.

But this isn't the 'Quiver'.

He remembers Mt. Justice. With the living rooms that probably smelled permanently of popcorn because of their many movie nights. The hours that they would spend sprawled out on each other. The food fights that Kal would break up. The nights spent falling asleep to Disney movies; the air calm and secure around them. The kitchens where something good was always cooking/baking. Where they once had a 'Official Team Bonding Session'-- really they were all working together to make baked goods for M'gann and Conner's bake sale. They learned many things that day. 1) Artemis and Robin should ONLY be allowed to measure ingredients. Nothing more. They WILL ruin everything without even trying. 2) Conner should never touch eggs. Period. Those things didn't wash out of Wally's hair for a **week**. 3) Kaldur may be a great leader on the battle field but the kitchen was NOT his forte. Also...mentioning _sushi_ while Kaldur's getting things out of the oven is a BAD idea. Like terrible. 0/10 stars. 3) Wally and M'gann were _**BADASSES** _ in the kitchen. He remembered the med-lab and the times spent making cards for his fellow teammates. He remembered the 'Med-lab' where not-Roy held him- pinned him- trapped him. He remembered the crushed feeling after learning that he was right where he always was. That he hadn't gotten out _at all_. He remembered not-Robin sending him to his knees before falling onto the couch, gripping his jaw and forcing his mouth open so he could slide his cock into his mouth. He remembered choking on his not-boyfriends dick- choking on tears as he abused his throat- choking on a sob because _he could smell popcorn_. He would curl up on the ground and sob because- _this place had felt so safe before_. He remembers not-Robin biting on his neck in the kitchen, pulling out pie with a grin. He had hissed into his ear; "Say you love me and this is yours." He never wants to remember what he said.

But this isn't 'Mt. Justice'.

He remembered the Watchtower. When he was young (pre-Kid Flash, post-super speed concoction) and he had just moved in with Uncle Barry. He remembered meeting Aunt Di and Auntie Shay. He remembered seeing the intimidating Amazonian for the first time- blushing a deep red when she cooed at him and kissed him on the cheek. He remembered the Thanagarian's great wings, and how she would scoop him up and fly him around the watchtower. (you know...back before he had a crippling fear of heights...) He remembered being in awe at seeing the earth spin slowly. He remembered not-Superman assuring him he was safe but feeling...nothing. Nothing. He had never known disconnection before...this. He remembered not-Robin watching him with unblinking blue (so pretty) eyes as he groaned around the gag in his mouth. Writhing in his bond tying him to _the fucking original seven's meeting table_. And- yeah- he knew it wasn't the REAL one. But still. It hadn't stopped the shame. But his shame had faded with every passing minute that that fucking _vibrator_ buzzed inside of him. He remembered squirming under his not-boyfriends gaze as he had his- literally- wicked way with him on top of the not-Founders table. 

But this wasn't the Watchtower.

And he- oh god- he remembered Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris's house. His only heaven in the hell that had been his parents house. The movie nights. The baking. The board games. Just Dance with Uncle Barry aka Mr. I-can't-coordinate-my-limbs-to-save-my-life. He remembered Aunt Iris hugging him close when he admitted everything- everything his father had done. Everything his mother had turned a blind eye to. He remembered crying in that house, laughing in that house. He remembered moving in. The assurance that 'it was completely okay for you to live here, we LOVE you Wally'. He remembered flinching at everything, refusing to decorate his room-- not wanting to be a burden. He remembered sobbing when he accidentally knocking milk over and begging for forgiveness. He remembers Barry hugging him tightly- promising that he'd never let him be bullied again. He remembered the shock he felt when Iris piled _more_ food onto his plate. He had whispered... 'But you've already fed me this week'. He remembers the hugs and promises that followed. He remembers slowly personalizing his room. He remembers being proud of his A's instead of ashamed that they weren't his Fathers desired A+'s. he remembers his _home_.

He remembers weeping-- begging the clones. 'Not here. Please. Anywhere but here.' He remembers not-Uncle Barry making new memories. Telling him he was worthless. Weak. Good for nothing. Should have let die. Always been a burden; do you know how much it costs to feed TWO speedsters?! Should have been given to the state. He remembered everything his father had said and more leaving his (not) Uncle's mouth. He remembers looking into his only GOOD father figure's eyes as he 'confirmed' _every_ deep and dark thought he had ever had since moving into Barry and Iris's house. He remembered blacking out when not-Dick just kept going and going and going. Using him until he swore he could feel cum every inch inside of him. He remembers the smiling pictures of his Uncle and Aunt looking down at them as not-Dick rammed into him again and again until he was bleeding all over Aunt Iris's favorite sofa. The harsh slap to the face when he nearly made it to 'There' despite all of the physical stimulus. He remembers the threat from his not-boyfriend that-- 

\-- "if you blank on me, for a _moment_ I **will** bring your _Uncle_ in here. Would you like that you little cock-slut? Your _idol_ filling you up? Do you want to be the Flashes best fuck Baby Flash? Don't worry, I wouldn't tell your Aunt." --

\--he remembers the want to die. He remembers that in that moment, if there was a gun or a knife or _something_ he would end it all right then and there.

But this isn't 'Home'.

This was a new room and a new house with a new clone. And he was terrified. New was bad. New was veryveryvery bad. It meant that the clones were _bored_ and that he was about to wish for death a whole lot more often.

He knew how to end it.

He knew.

When the Black Canary clone wasn't bothering with him...

...he would finally be safe.

He would be free. Soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this was so short you guys but my grandparents are in town X( but i hope you guys liked the whole 'finding out what happened to him' some more and how odd it is waking up in a new place.


	21. Silly Dream (Wally POV part 3)

He padded out of the room lightly the next morning-- wondering where the clones were. He had waited up nearly the whole night, thinking they were going to come in and abruptly end his peace. He waited until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. He woke with a crick in his neck.

If he took the initiative to leave first would they end it all? Unlikely but still a nice thought. 

Uncertainty bubbled up in him as he looked at the earthy toned _unfamiliar_ hallway. Everything was new. And new was badbadbad. He took a deep breath, steadying himself with the wall. Calm. Be calm. Freaking out gets you no where. 

His vision clears and his heart calms down so he continues his trek through the house. 

The floors were cool, like it was cold outside and not even the steady heating system could keep it all out. 

He makes it to an opening in the hallway, facing a living room which connected to a kitchen. The only thing separating the kitchen and living room was an island with brown wooden bar stools with backs. 

Music floated over from the kitchen where Not-Lance was humming and cooking what smelled like eggs. In pajamas. There was a tv too. Muted but playing the news, a nice reporter lady standing in the snow while a scrolling red ribbon down at the bottom listed off schools that were cancelled. Despite being an experiment and knowing that all of this was very fake he felt something like...excitement? He was _happy_ for the kids that were no doubt breathing a sigh of relief at the extra day off. He squashed those feelings as quickly as he could. He needed to feel nothing to survive. _Especially_ feeling anything towards this trick.

He hugs himself tighter, wondering what he should do. The fact that his carefully crafted and well put up walls cracked so soon. So early. 

A snow day.

A fucking snow day made him feel more in five seconds than he's allowed himself to feel in months. 

 

What now? He's here out in the open just like he wanted. Should he get her attention? The thought makes a small tremor run through him. 

While he's debating whether or not he should sneak off while he has the chance not-Dinah turns around.

She blinks at him, surprised clearly; while he feels the blood drain from his face. _RunRunRun_. She smiles at him and turns down her classic rock. 

"Breakfast whenever you're up to it."

She pulls one of the bar stools around so she can sit on one side of the island. He slinks over slowly, nails biting into his skin. Maybe he's bleeding. He doesn't care. There are... eggs? On a plate. Fried. With onion salt and pepper. How he liked them. Before. Before. Before.

There's a fork too. He looks up at not-Dinah. She's eating. Her food. Calmly. Nothing was wrong. Nothing was _wrong._ Nothing was wrong and that was wrong. He sits down- feeling like he was sitting on pins and needles. All of his muscles were tense as he poised- ready for...something. Anything. Everything.

He eats. Its fine. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. The eggs are good but his hot tears aren't.

*

He waits up all night but there's no movement outside of his room. His toes are numb from being planted on the cold floor for hours and his legs pop when he finally slips under the flannel. It's...warm. He shivers and the cocoon of warmth draws him into sleep sweetly. 

The stars twinkle behind his eyes.

*

He's having a dream. Black Canary was there. And his Gotham Academy shirt. The one Dick got him. That was funny. Dream Canary smiles and pats the couch cushion next to her. He sits...it's just a dream of course. She says something but it sounds like he's underwater. Her words don't make sense but her powder blue eyes are bright and jovial. Poor dream Canary he thinks sadly to himself.

_Poor dream Canary. She doesn't know that this is a dream._

Maybe I should tells her, he wonders- rubbing the soft and worn cotton of his dream shirt between his fingers. The shirt smells like home. 

The shirt smells like home.

_Silly dream. Don't you know home is gone?_

*

He pads down the hall softly, the moon light coming in through the high windows in bright silver streaks. Not-Canary doesn't mind him moving around the house. Because this is a trick. A trick to get him more comfortable. He's got it. He knows.

But the room is boring to be in all the time. He's watched the sun raise and move through the sky over and over. And looked at the trees on the cloudy day. Maybe it's not giving in if he looks around the 'house' when not-Canary was asleep. The woods cool under his socked feet. Corgi sock. Little corgis in bandannas. He loves them. He resisted wearing them because he was afraid that the clones would take notice that he liked them. But they were...cute. He liked them. 

He walks around, exploring slowly. He avoids the fruit bowl on the island but looks at the silver fridge. Postcards. Of perfect Venice, excellent white beaches in Australia, flawless Rainbow Mountains of Zhangye Danxia, unblemished Fairy Pools on the Isle of Skye, and the alluring ancient temple of Ta Prohm. And others that he DIDN'T recognize from his races around the world.

He stared at them until he couldn't.

He felt like he could breath easier.

He dreamt of...running. For the first time in...so long. Because. Running. The world. It was. Gone.

He dreamt of lights on the water. Of the glittering sapphires and diamonds. Of rainbow mountains as far as the eye could see. Of crystal clear water cascading into near magical pools. Of breathtaking grass covered ruins- mother nature stretching over the foundation. 

He dreamt of lightning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Venice at night](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:City_landscape_Venice_at_night_light_\(8174786148\).jpg)
> 
>  
> 
> [White Beach in Australia](https://citytrips.planetfem.com/the-best-beaches-in-australia-part-3/#.WKJjp1UrLIU)
> 
>  
> 
> [Rainbow Mountains](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/31/rainbow-mountains-china-danxia-landform_n_3683840.html) (The fifth one is the one I used for the postcard)
> 
>  
> 
> [Fairy Pools](http://inlingua-edinburgh.co.uk/12-reasons-to-convince-you-to-visit-isle-of-skye/inlingua-edinburgh-fairy-pools-2-isle-of-skye-scotland/)
> 
>  
> 
> [Temple](http://www.siemreaptaxi.com/description.php?page=4&attrid=14)
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO I WILL HAVE YOU ALL KNOW! I was looking at the 'most beautiful places in the world' for the postcard ideas and the FIRST picuture I see of the Fairy Pools WAS STUNNING but then IT WAS FAKE UGGGG WHY???!!!
> 
> (If y'all want the fake but pretty pic here it is) [UGG](http://hoaxes.org/photo_database/image/fairy_pools)


	22. Peace (Wally POV part 4)

Days blurred together, mixing and overlapping until he couldn't remember how many days since he arrived. Maybe it was many-- he's certainly seen many waxes and wanes of the moon. Maybe its been only a handful-- his dreams are becoming even more vivid and frequent. 

When he dreams he doesn't fight them; he just...lets them be. They're so...safe. When he dreams, he can pretend- even for a moment- that everything's okay. 

In his dreams Black Canary hugs him, loves him, and he doesn't want to run. He doesn't feel every instinct in him telling him to _just run_. He closes his eyes and think, 'maybe this time...I don't have to wake up'. Maybe this time I can just...stay here. Away from the tricks and the clones and the nightmares.

He'll wake up and stare at the ceiling for hours before not-Canary knocks on his door. Telling him lunch was ready. He doesn't answer her, afraid of how much he wants to stay. He wants to stay here. In this house. He wants to stay in this house where his nightmares are few and far between. Compared to the dreams. The dreams are often and they are safe and he finds himself yearning for this _**trick**_ to last forever. Maybe he can stay here? With this clone and these dreams and the food? 

He drops his head into his lap and cries until he's dry. His throat burns and he feels hollow. What was he doing? Why did he want this so bad?! He had given up so long ago and now...

He didn't have anything to live for after the clones broke him because he could never be rescued and turn out okay after what they did. He just wanted to live as pain free as he possibly could until he died. But... now. With the clone. He wanted to _live_. He shakes his head over and over into his knees. He can't. 

He can't go back to hoping only for everything to be ripped from him again. Never again.

He looks out the window, ignoring the small shivers of speed running up his spine telling him to run, and waiting until the moon was high in the sky. An owl hooted somewhere outside and the snow was perfect and untouched under his window.

He pulls himself up, joints popping. His hand blurs and he forces himself to calm down. His hearts beating wildly and There is calling to him. He puts one foot in front of the other, refusing to use his super speed.

Every time he's used it with the clones something bad happens. His eyes close and he breaths deep again. No. No thinking about that. He shakes his head and forces his speed back down. He itches with the urge to run but his fear of punishment stops him from going any faster than the turtle pace that he was going. He slides through the shadows with a grace he didn't know he possessed. Maybe peace made people more graceful. He makes it into the kitchen, already passing not-Dinah's room- knowing that she was asleep at this hour. Peace.

His eyes slide shut at the thought and a wave of calm washes over him. He grabs a kitchen knife before slipping back into his room. He goes into the bathroom and locks the door. Peace. Peace. _Peace_. He stops up the bathroom sink before filling it with water. There's no hesitation in his movements as he drags the blade over his wrists and putting his arms under the warm water.

He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. The safety and peace from this trick weren't enough. He needed to get out before he got to comfortable. 

The waters red now and his vision is fading. 

He just wants peace.


	23. Popcorn (Wally POV part 5)

\---

He wakes up in someone's arms with pain radiating up and down his arms. Something wet splashes down on his face. His eyelids are heavy but he prys them open when water splashes down onto his cheeks again, nearly constant.

His vision is blurry but soon not-Dinah comes into focus. She’s holding him in her arms on the bathroom floor, sobbing over him- tears cascading down her face and onto his. He frowns. What…? He pulls his arms into view, despite them feeling like lead. There are neat stitches along his cuts and a blood bag connected to him. Tears sting his eyes when he realizes brokenly that he failed. 

He can’t do _anything_ right can he? 

His breath hitches as not-Dinah rocks him back and forth and he realizes that he was still here. She stopped him. 

He sobs and brings his hands to his face, he can’t do anything right. He wasn’t able be anything his father wanted. He wasn’t able to stop himself from being a burden to Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris. He wasn’t good enough to stop himself from being captured by Cadmus. He wasn’t strong enough against the clones. And now. He wasn’t even capable of killing himself properly.

Not-Dinah grabs him and holds him close whispering, “It’s okay. You’re okay. You don’t have to do this. You’re free Wally. Baby you have to listen to me, you’re free.”

He shakes his head over and over.

He wants to be held, he wants her to continue to hug him close and love him. He wants the safety of the dreams back. He wants the peace of the house-- so far away from all of the labs and cells of Cadmus. He wants her to just _go away_ too. He wants her to just leave him alone and let him go. He wants her to drop the act because he was liking it more and more everyday. He just wanted normalcy back.

He falls asleep buried in her hug, rocking back and forth, fingers gripping her t-shirt like a lifeline. 

\---

He lays his head on the window sill; wondering why he was allowed fresh air. He closes his eyes again; listening to the Grey Jays talk to each other back and forth. He’s been closing his eyes a lot lately. He doesn’t know why but it’s been getting harder and harder to keep them open. 

There’s movement behind him and he reluctantly open his eyes. 

Not-Dinah is behind him, laying a hand on his shoulder. He doesn’t flinch when she does but still feels like he’s going to throw up. She had slept on the couch with him for a time after his attempt to end his life. When he got back from There he had remembered himself and tried to get away from her, making her let him go back to his room.

He knows without a doubt that he’s being watched.

She started to gently push him into a more structured schedule. He couldn’t skip meals anymore, especially since his speed was no longer preoccupied with closing wounds and pushed him to eat more and more. 

She tried to get him to do activities with her too. Games. When he wouldn’t come near her she would leave him with puzzles. 

Beautiful puzzles. With vibrant colors and stunning landmarks- making his speed itch under his skin. 

Apprehension bubbled up under him when he vibrated again for probably the fifth time that day. When his speed became to much to handle they would pull the curtain and he didn’t know how that made him feel.

He wanted it to end. But he didn’t. He wanted to finish the puzzle in front of him. He wanted to get through a game of Candy Land with not-Black Canary without passing out when she talked to him to much.

He vibrates again and tried to block out not-Canary’s gentle voice telling him that dinner was ready. He pulls himself from the window and wonders how all of this could possibly feel real.

He couldn’t be allowed so close to the outside world with his speed coming back so strongly.

Could he?

\---

Not-Canary smiled and patted the space next to her; “I’m watching a rom-com Ollie sent me. You know how much of a sap he is. Want to watch?”

He sits. _It’s just because I’m cold._ He tells himself. He knows it's futile. After all. It was warming up wasn’t it? He sits away from not-Canary and tries to focus on the tv in front of him. It was so hard to focus. He didn’t realize how disconnected his brain was to everything until he tried doing the puzzles. He didn’t realize how separated his body and mind were until he tried to do things with not-Canary and his hands didn’t cooperate. 

He thinks he can handle this (the movie, the proximity to the enemy, not going There) when not-Canary offers him popcorn.

_Not-Robin pushed him to the floor of ‘Mt. Justice’, his knees colliding hard with the floor. He bruised his jaw until a numbness spread up to his eyes, making his eyelids tingle._

“WALLY!” not-Canary screamed, shaking him. He was on the floor, popcorn scattered everywhere- the swelling of music somewhere next to him. He couldn’t breath. “Wally! It’s not real!”

_He slide his cock into his mouth, tears streaming down his face as his throat was fucked into brutally. He choked on his not-boyfriends cum as the smell of popcorn made his sanity splinterize. He sobbed wretchedly as he was used over and over in a place that used to represent everything safe._

He was hauled up into not-Canary’s arms as she ran him into one of the rooms whose door was always locked. It became easier to breath but the smell of popcorn lingered.

_He screamed and kicked as not-Robin pulled him towards the ‘living room’ in the ‘mountain’._

_“No! NO! PLEASE! Not again!”_

_Not-Dick pushed his face into the cushions of the couch that smelled like **popcorn**. He prepped him sweetly; hitting his prostate over and over until he was screaming into the cushions._

He came to in a hospital room; a gas mask on his face and not-Canary leaning over him.

 

The game’s ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go look up beautiful puzzles!!!! They're amazing!!


	24. Yellow Tulip (Wally POV part 6)

He woke up in his room. No, not his cell. Not even his room’s at the mountain or Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry’s house. 

It’s… It’s the one that he’s been sleeping in these past few days? Weeks? Months? It’s the earthy modern one with the window that faces the trees and snow down below; below the hill that the house was on. 

He wasn’t…? Why wasn’t he in a lab? Why was he still allowed in a bed? Why wasn’t the trick up yet? 

He had… he had seen not-Canary’s lab! There was a hospital bed and gas masks and. And. And. 

 

Why?

His hands curl up into fists and he feels a rage he hasn’t felt since...since… he doesn’t remember when. But now… now he wanted to be _angry_. He wanted to _feel_ something. He wanted to scream and pound his fists into anything. The clones for making him _hurt_. The walls, the floor, the furniture, anything. Anything he could get his hands on. He just wanted to destroy something. 

Destroy something like he was destroyed.

He wanted. 

He wanted to hurt something the same way he was hurt. 

His fists uncurl at the thought. He-- no. That’s wrong. Why? Why does something else need to be broken… Will that save him? Will it make him feel-- be-- any better? No. It wouldn’t. He chokes on his next breath. 

He had just… felt… something other than fear and the tentative safety he’s had during this trick. It had only been for a second, but in that moment… he was most alive he’s been in...forever. 

Alive.

He looks at his wrists, the scars that would fade because of the speedforce. He traces them until the sun paints everything in gold.

Alive.

\---

He sat across from not-Canary, who had just finished her Egg McMuffin and was now sipping a Coke. 

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about my moment of weakness.” She says with a smile. 

_Weak? You? Never._

“I’m talking about the McDonalds and soda.” She clarifies with a wink. “I shouldn’t have fast food OR soda. But I needed a cheat day.”

_You called yourself weak. But I don’t think you know how untrue that is._

“Do you like Egg McMuffin’s? I couldn’t remember so grabbed you about five hundred of those and orange juice.”

_Did the original Canary know how much of a hero to me that she was? Did she know that it wasn’t Black Canary who was his hero but Dinah Lance? Did she know that he’s been intimately aware of insecurities since he was a child and that when he was younger she was his hero because she--above any other hero that he ever met-- didn’t ever seem to have any? Did she know that when he realized she did; it only made her stronger in his mind?_

“There’s just something about McDonald’s isn’t there?” She tried to make conversation while eating fries instead of hashbrowns. Dipping them in sweet n sour sauce.

_Do you know how strong you are Black Canary?_

“She’s not weak.” he whispers across the island. Not-Canary stops talking; her eyes widening more than what was probably humanly possible. 

“What?” She looks like she wants to leap forward but is restraining herself. She can’t believe that he’s talking to her… and he’s nearly as surprised as she is. He wants to take the words back. He doesn’t want to talk back to the clone; but more than that. He doesn’t want to play along. He didn’t want to blur tricks with reality ever again-- didn’t want to lose sight of his goal; to end everything. 

“I said,” his traitorous mouth began, words falling like poison over his lips. “That Black Canary isn’t weak.”

_And you’re not her. Don’t...don’t call her that when she isn’t here to stop you._

Not-Canary looks like she’s been slapped. She looks confused. “But…” she begins. “ **I am** Black Canary. So I can jokingly call myself weak all I want.”

“You’re-- You-- She--” He can’t talk, all of the words that he hasn’t said all wanting to surge up all at once. She isn’t Black Canary. She can’t. She isn’t. His fists curl up again and he wants to _hurt_ her. This isn’t Dinah. This isn’t Roy’s mother figure. This isn’t Uncle Ollie’s girlfriend. This isn’t Young Justice’s den mother. This was an...an… it! It was parading around calling itself Dinah Lance and… 

And he cares. 

He stands and he wants to leap forward and hurt it. His hands shake by his sides and before he knows it hot tears are pouring down his face. He hates it. He’s not sad...he’s angry! Then _why_ is he crying like he’s upset. He’s not. 

He is.

He spins around and goes to his room. This imposter doesn’t _deserve_ to see him like... this. Whatever ‘this’ is. 

He gets to his room faster than...than normal. Fear claws its way into his heart. He just used his speed. 

**He just used his super speed.**

If talking back to the clone wasn’t going to hurt than this definitely would. He slams the door. But it’s not enough. He wants more. He tears the room apart in a savage way he never knew he was capable of. The dresser was in splinters, the sheets torn, feathers from his pillow flew around the room, holes littered the walls. He lay in the wreckage of his room and used the last of his energy to sob.

What was happening to him? Why did he care? Why did it matter? It didn’t. Or...it shouldn’t. 

Why why why?

He stares at his hands. His knuckles were bloody, and his hands were shaking. His watery eyes travelled lower. The scars.

_“Black Canary? I don’t want this to get to personal or anything…”_

_“Go ahead Wally. That’s what these sessions are for. Personal.” She had said when he came in after he got the call that his Dad had died in prison._

_“Have you ever...done anything to yourself because you were hurting?” he asked, memories of bleeding out over the carpet from his father's beer bottle swimming in his mind._

_“Wallace.” she said seriously. “You haven’t been cutting yourself have you? Or any other self harming techniques? Because there **are** other ways to hurt yourself; not all of which are talked about.”_

_“I haven’t.” he had said defensively; and she had raised an eyebrow at him- prompting him to continue. “It’s just… some girls in my class were talking about it. One of them swore that if you haven’t done it you haven’t really suffered a loss, but then another girl was said that her sister did it and she was the weakest person she had ever met. And another girl said guys can’t do it because they’re stronger emotionally and just...yeah.”_

_“And you wanted to know about me because…?”_

_“You’re the strongest person I know. Except for maybe Uncle Barry. And Aunt Iris of course. Have you ever...wanted to?”_

_Black Canary had sighed. “I’ve never cut myself. But there was a point in my life that I wasn’t the best to myself. The fact that I’ve done it doesn’t make me cool, or shows that my feelings were real, or even made me stronger. It’s fact that I quit that makes me strong.”_

 

In the fading light he traces the scars that he was so sure in making. And the horrible thing was… he was still sure. Today only proved that he needed to succeed. This trick had gone on to long-- he had enjoyed it for far too long-- and he needed to get out before. 

Before he accepted it. Before he let not-Canary’s words pull him back from Their. Before it all got taken away. Before-- his breath hitches again-- before his ‘Uncle’ cut him. Before ‘Dick’ got within ten feet of him.

He cries softly into his wrists. He can’t quit. Not now. He can’t go back.

 

_Black Canary isn’t weak. But I am._

\---

The world moved in blurs for a long time after that. 

‘There’ had snatched him up, the mindless retreat swallowing him whole over and over. He barely ate or slept in between moments of sanctuary. It felt as though every time he blinked, he was in a new place. He was...teleporting... in his mind. 

Blink.  
On his newly made bed; it’s night.

Blink.

At the island; lunch.

Blink.

On the couch; it’s morning.

Blink. 

There's a puzzle in front of him; he can’t feel his body.

Blink.

In front of the bathroom mirror; he doesn’t recognize himself.

Blink.

It's raining.

Blink.

\---

He doesn’t want to be here anymore...he doesn’t think. It’s all pretty muddled. But. There's something he has to do. Isn’t there? He’s numb. But. Maybe. Maybe that's not good anymore? It’s. He remembers loving it. Never wanting to leave. But he also remembers fearing it. What if he couldn’t get out? He. Needed it. Before. Before, when there was hurt. But. He doesn’t want to be here anymore...he doesn’t think. It’s all pretty muddled---

\---

He blinks his sticky eyes open. They’re heavy and...heavy. Just. Heavy. He breaths, and his lungs feel heavy. It’s all so. Real

Human. 

His eyes focus and he realizes that his mind has allowed him to be Here. He’s looking at the living room ceiling. The fan was spinning around and around and around and--

And he’s dying. He can feel it. His body was shutting down. He had given up and had hid in his mind so long that he forgot to live. He should be happy. He could just barely move, it was hard to breathe, his eyes could hardly open, and his stomach didn’t even hurt despite the fact that he knew he hadn’t eaten in… 

Not-Canary couldn’t save him because now his recovery was his. And he. Didn’t. Want. He didn’t want. He didn’t. Want. He. 

Not-Canary scooped him up into her arm and they stepped out into. The sunshine. 

She was crying as she set him down into the cold grass. The light blinded him for hours and hours (or maybe seconds) until he saw the trees around him. The ones under his window. He scrunches his toes with difficulty. Grass. The snow was gone. All melted; and now. Spring began to peek around the corner in wherever they were. 

He breathes deep. He fights through the heavy weight on his chest. No. He wants to see this. If it’s going to be his last spring than he’s going to enjoy it. Tears are falling onto the grass.

The green blades rustle in the wind and he closes his eyes out of necessity. The dull sensations of the labs had become almost mundane but now; his skin prickled. And There didn’t call to him from the dark corners of his mind. It was banished for now.

He opened his eyes again. The non evergreen had small buds all over them. The semi cool air rustling the leave and blowing soft pink petals over his face. He looks downwards. 

Tulips. 

They stand tall in the wind amongst the not-yet-bloomed-wildflowers. He lays his head down, head throbbing because of...everything. He watches one tulip-- the only yellow one in a sea of pink. 

“Why?” he asks it. He doesn’t know what he’s asking but it wouldn’t have an answer anyway. It’s a tulip. Not-Canary answers in its place. 

“Because you’re not broken Wally.”

\---

He lived. 

He doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know why not-Canary showed him the backyard. Why he’s allowed to go there whenever he wants. Why he cares so damn much.

His favorite was the yellow tulip. Sometimes his legs would burn but he would still walk to the tulip everyday. Even when it was raining. Not-Canary didn’t like that to much. She makes him wear thick clothes even when he feels like he’s burning up on the inside. And pushes an umbrella into his hands. He props it up over the tulip instead of him. It’s getting plenty of water in it's soil, it didn’t need it's petals wet. 

The rain splatters down his cheeks like tear drops.

He comes in after dark, showering before getting called into dinner by not-Canary. Chinese food sat in carryout containers on the table. He sits almost robotically. 

Cadmus was. So long. Ago. It. It.

He--for the first time in forever-- thought of the beginning of this great trick. They said he was free. They said…

They.

He looks up from his chicken at not-Canary.

 

“This. This all feels so real.”


	25. Labor (Wally POV part 7)

He stares at the pieces of paper laying on the nightstand. They were tied in neat piles with brown twine. Despite how innocent they looked he couldn't bring himself to touch them. He stares at them for a long time-- wondering what they said. What would happen if he read them? Would he feel. Would he heal? Would everything come crashing down on him once again? The thought has him shivering and rolling over and ignoring them for the rest of the night.

\---

Tulips have always been early bloomers so it doesn't surprise Wally when he comes back to find his yellow one dying. I makes him sad but it doesn't surprise him.

"What do you think I should do?" He whispers to it. It doesn't answer. 

\---

When the yellow one dies he considers locking himself in his room and ending everything. There wasn't anything left to live for right? He had just wanted to see the spring again. That was all. 

He sits down robotically across from Dinah. Not-Dinah. She smiles at him, sliding some waffles with whip cream over to him. 

"Thank you." He murmurs. Not-Dinah smiles and nods back. 

"I was thinking," she begins, like always. "That the garden back there is pretty overgrown. Considering I haven't been in this place in forever. Maybe you'd like to fix it up? There's more to the garden than just the tulips. Explore the rest of it today and tell me what you think."

He ignores the yellow table cloth. 

\---

Right outside of the backdoor and down the patio was the entrance to the garden, a metal gate-- the rest of the fence hidden by out of control and _huge_ hedges. The tulips from inside of the garden had their seeds blown into the actual yard; mixing with the wildflowers and weeds. Him and the tulip had been right outside the garden this whole time. He pushes open the gate, it's rusted metal hinges protesting.

It had a modern design (like the rest of the house) but wasn't overwhelming or...odd like modern designs usually were. The white stone path had weeds poking up through the cracks winding through the large garden. Tall grass out of control and nearly swallowing a weathered white metal table sitting near the front left corner of the garden. There were bushes and shrubs growing out of control around the fences boarder and some around these stone boxes. The stone boxes attempted to separate the grass from what might have been a food garden. Fruits to the left and veggies to the right. A formally rose covered arbor and more hedges separated one part of the garden from a second part. The second part was where the flowers were and was considerably bigger. 

Bushes and shrubs covered the fences boarder and some around more stone boxes like in the first part. But inside of the stone boxes were supposed to be gorgeous flowers; spilling over into the flower bushes in front of them. But now wildflowers mixed with the flowers that were still around and grew out of control and ran rampant. Weeds wormed their way into the cracks in the stone boxes, making them look decrepit and worn out.

*****((if you'd like to see how the garden is set up visually, go to the end notes))

Ivy clung around everything it could reach, taking hostage the table, a bench and a picnic table by a grove of Dogwood trees. It might have looked pretty if it weren't so overrun, because instead of a 'natural overgrown but gorgeous look' it only looked abandoned and sad. He takes caution in his steps; afraid of snakes and other critters that may be hiding in the tall grass that went to his hips, but makes it over to a shed in the back. He forces the old door open, ignoring how odd the amount of force needed was. 

He drags the old tools out of the shed and flicks the spiders crawling on him with a shiver. Gross. 

He surveys the large and messy jungle ahead of him. What now? Mow? No probably not. How would he get the weeds out? He pulls an old spade out of the pile of tool and begins at the front right corner. It's mindless and dirty but he finds the ache and struggle enjoyable. He's sweating a lot despite the chilly wind, but then again- the sun was terrible today. There are blisters being worked into his hands and he chips and cracks his nails more than once. His eyes sting as he wipes dirt and sweat out of them again, and his knees are scraped and bloody. He can't find it in him to care.

He ditches the spade at some point and just uses his cramped hands to pull the weeds out by the roots that way. He breaths in the dirt; his lungs feeling taxed as he worked through the unruly and tyrannous weeds. Thorns made his hands bleed and the low hissing of snakes made his heart beat faster; but he had no desire to stop. Not even for a break. He felt so...alive. The labor was hard yes, but it felt _good_ to just work. Not sit uselessly in a cell or the house. To not be laying down thrashing on a lab table. To not be pushed to his bodies breaking point through horrifying experiments and emotional manipulation/exhaustion. Instead he had his ache in his limbs reminding him that he was alive while the ache in the pit of his stomach from not using his speed went away.

He was an active person; and getting back into the swing of things felt good.

The ache in his body, the force needed to pull weeds, and the strain on his lungs was new though. He doesn't ever remember working so hard to do work. He used to slice through the air with his superspeed without even breaking a sweat.

Time and his thoughts flow away from him, leaving the mindless pulling and pushing of his body. It was almost like being 'There' now that he thought about it. But healthier... natural. The world faded around him and letting him just...not think. But he was still connected to his body instead of being scarily disconnected with reality. He didn't have to think about the letters sitting on his nightstand but he continued to work and work without stopping. 

He nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand lightly tapped on his shoulder. He blinks through the sweat and dirt, not-Canary is standing next to him, silhouette black against the fading light. Huh. It was evening. He worked the entire day and didn't even realize it.

"Hey Wally. I called you in for lunch hours ago but you never came up."

_I didn't listen. I didn't obey I didn't--_

"You were working so hard that I decided to just let you keep going. But you really shouldn't skip dinner."

She pauses while he blinks up at her dumbly. What? 

"We should head in. Continue working tomorrow." She holds her hand out and Wally feels stupid for needing her to speak so slowly. He gets up without her help, not wanting to get her dirty. He was hot and sweaty and itchy from all of the different plants he touched.

 _'Hope none of that was poison ivy.'_ He thinks to himself with a snort. When he stands he early topples over; exhaustion hit him like a freight train. He didn't even realize how sore and hungry he was from working so hard and being so engrossed with the garden. He looked around at his work feeling his chest swell up with pride. He got the entire vegetable side of the garden done. Well... expect for in the boxes. But he got a surprising amount done considering he was only out here for a day.

He follows not-Canary into the house and showers off all of the grime and sweat, feeling the heat soothe the knots from his work. He looks at himself in the mirror on the way out.

 _'Well that explains why it took so much effort doing a simple task'_. His time with the clones had done a number on his body. 

Before he was ripped from being a superhero with only a healthy amount of fat over him, but the clones had made him lose weight like crazy. He had been skin and bones, malnourished and a walking corpse. He almost hadn't been able to move. And even when they'd give him breaks to work some fat onto him he hadn't had any energy to move, let alone work the fat into muscle. But then he had woken up in Mount Justice (not-Mt. Justice) and been allowed to _actually_ gain weight and become healthy. Then he and Dinah (not-Dinah) moved to...here... and the stress had almost disappeared, further letting him keep the weight on. 

He was still horribly unhealthy and thin; but he was doing better than he had in a long time.

He had had so much trouble doing laborious work today because he had lost all of his muscles (okay not ALL, because that was impossible, but you know what I mean) and now needed to work to do strenuous things. Or even do things that he could do without a second thought before. 

He felt...bad...looking in the mirror. 

He didn't know how to describe it. He knew that it wasn't his fault. That his body had fluctuated A LOT-- without his consent even. And he was looking better now that he was gaining weight without losing it immediately. But he still felt this...insecurity well up in him when he looked in the mirror. He used to be so different. So fit and healthy and just. Now gardening made him feel like he could sleep for an age. 

He glares at the ribs he could still see poking out and at the stretch marks over his stomach. 

He eats dinner with not-Canary before setting his alarm.

He wasn't going to sleep in. Not while there was work to do.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so first. Don't judge my google name (if you can see it) X'D I was 12 and had just watched Avatar (the one with the blue aliens not the last airbender) but I'm not changing it because it makes me giggle every time I sign in. But I did this really quick google drawing of how Wally's garden is designed. Its not very detailed at all and thats on purpose. It's so you can picture it in your head however you want. This is just the bare-bones; where the picnic table, bench, and metal table are in relation to each other, etc. 
> 
> *****[Google Drawing](https://docs.google.com/drawings/d/1BZ0cSrQDasqBmGDjNmis9GVqWRLPjv0M6OCMhevg51c/edit?usp=sharing)
> 
>  
> 
> Also! So sorry for the short update but y'all have no idea the shit i've had this week PLUS writers block.
> 
> I've literally drank raw meat juice this week on accident... (don't ask, long story) and I've learned that one of my friends has a fatal brain tumor-- to just name a few things. Not looking for sympathy or anything just understanding.
> 
> So I'm sorry about the shortness but I've literally sat down everyday and forced myself to write AT LEAST one sentence.
> 
> If it makes y'all happy just know WE'RE CLOSE TO THE END!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Have a good morning/day/afternoon/evening/2 am binge my lovelies~~


	26. Faster Now (Wally POV part 8)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *music note* Guess who's back.... back again *music note*

For days afterwards he worked on the garden. Only stopping for food and water breaks. (And one time it was raining really hard so [not]-Dinah said he couldn't go outside, they watched movies, he had a small break down in the bathroom… so normal). 

He would wake at dawn and shuck on some clothes quickly before slipping through the back door and jogging through the early morning mist and working on the garden until the sun was highest in the sky. When it was hottest, he would shuffle in and eat lunch with [not]-Dinah and rub sunscreen onto his skin before going back out. 

He pulled weeds and fought off snakes until night each day. Showering off the dirt and pollen before eating dinner with (not) Dinah and maybe watching a movie with her. But mostly he’d go to bed and fall asleep before his head even hit the pillow.

Despite putting on sunscreen he had a light sunburn on his shoulders and stretched across his nose and cheeks. He also had more bug bites than criminals in Gotham and if that wasn't enough he was _constantly_ itchy from the grass. But he felt _good_. He was happy. The ache in his muscles and the tiredness he felt going to bed was welcomed. There wasn't any animosity surrounding him. And he was being _usefull_. He wasn't just… sitting around and waiting anymore. 

He feels more in control than he has in…

Forever.

 

He feels _alive_.

 

The weeds around the yard were now pulled and shoved into trash bags that Dinah had given him. (Along with the sunscreen, bug spray, and seeds)

He breathed in deep, trying to get oxygen into his weakened lungs and sneezed. Damn allergies. 

He pushed the lawnmower around the large garden, the smell of freshly cut grass invading his senses. Dinah (not-Dinah) walked in the garden as he caught his breath, sweat stinging his eyes. It was getting easier; him keeping weight on and now being able to push his muscles without the fear of… well. Dying. It was getting easier to do these kind of things. Work.

Not-Dinah set a tray with lemonade and sandwiches down onto the picnic table. He sits opposite her. 

“The gardens looking nice. You're working through it faster and faster every day.” There's a twinkle in her eye. One that Oliver simultaneously feared and loved. 

He smiles lopsidedly at her. 

\---

He rubbed every nook and cranny of the metal table with baking soda, hand cramping from rubbing the rust off. He couldn't help but grin though, as the table lost it's rust. You couldn't tell what color it was from years of under-use. But Dinah got him some white paint for it. The hours melted together as he painted the table and chairs with care. Leaving it in the sun to dry. 

He looked up to the sky and frowned. The sun hardly moved. He shrugged. It didn't matter. More time for fixing that old bench. He jogged over to it, smiling as the grass blew around him. Tomorrow he would tackle the raised stone garden boxes. And then plant things. 

\---

He shook the grass and leaves out of his hair, coming in through the back and moving to go shower. Dinah smiled absentmindedly from her perch on top of the counter. She was typing furiously, occasionally frowning at the screen. He smiled back before walking into his… room. 

The water washed away the dirt and grime. He watched the soap bubbles spin around and around the drain. 

 

He felt numb as he slid into place across from Dinah and ate dinner silently. He washed dishes and passed by the puzzles he's made on his way back to his room. 

Before he slid under the covers he looked over at the letters on his nightstand. There were more of them now. Still neatly tied together with twine. He traced the paper over and over with his fingers until the paper felt course and foreign in his hands. His eyes burned with tiredness but he forced them open. His hands shook and his lungs felt tight. He laid them back on the nightstand, hands feeling like they had been scalded. 

_Tomorrow. I’ll read them tomorrow._ He thought to himself. 

He swore he felt not-Dick’s hands on him all night long. 

\---

“Hey Wally, you look really tired today…” started Dinah over breakfast. 

“I--” his throat caught. What was wrong with him? After every moment that he thought, _maybe this is real, this isn't a clone of her it's really her, maybe I'm free_ there came a moment where **memories** tormented him all night long. 

“I couldn't sleep.” It sounded meek, even to his own ears. _I’m so so broken._

“Would you like to talk about it?” Asked Dinah (not-Dinah?) and he felt like there was more meaning to that question.

“No thank you.” He felt like the walls were closing in on him. He's so so fucked up. Every time. Every damn time. Why can't he just _get over it_ why is he so weak.

“Okay. Just remember I’m here for you.” She smiled and slid croissants over to him. His stomach was rolling but he ate them. “Maybe there's something in the air.” Dinah says frowning at the doors to the outside. “Might be coming down with a fever.”

It's a nice thought. Even if they both know that that's not why 

“Maybe you should stay in today; you and I can work out or bake.”

He really didn't want to. He wanted to run far far away from her. Or maybe just to the garden. Burry himself in the dirt and work. 

“Yeah. Okay.”

 

They're both shocked.

\---

Him and Dinah lifted weights. He couldn't lift what he used to do but he wasn't weak anymore. The work in the garden (pulling weeds, mowing, lifting things) thankfully helped him get some muscle back. 

They drank water together and cracked up over Ollie's terrible jokes that they’ve heard before moving onto push ups (Dinah totally won that one) and then to sit ups (he won!). 

 

Then they moved onto the treadmill. 

He found himself pushing faster and faster-- _without getting tired_ until the treadmill was on the fastest setting and _it was still slow to him_.

He stops (and turns off the treadmill) in shock. His veins feel like they're buzzing and energy wells up inside of him. He's staring down at his hands… trying to make sense of…

Dinah leaned against the wall, a cautious and tentative look on her face. “You've been working out in the garden faster and faster. It was only a matter of time before you're speed caught up to you.”

“What?” He asked lamely. 

Her blue eyes grow more confident. “When we first rescued you; your speed wasn't working right because your body was broken down so much. The healthier your body got (and when you started working)-- without the aid of speed-- the quicker you became.”

It felt like blood was rushing past his ears. His heart seized. Panic bubbled up. 

_This is the moment_ , a voice in the back of his mind whispered. _You're speed is back. You're getting your sanity back. This is were everything goes wrong._

He pushed everything down. _No._

He shouldn't continue this bullshit. What's happened to him since he woke up in in this house? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

_If I never give it a chance, I’ll never accept my **real** family…_

The once traitorous logic that had made him fall for the clone’s trap more than once now resurfaced in his mind. 

Dinah hovered in his peripheral vision patiently, waiting to see how he handled everything. He took a deep breath, trying to forget about the crushing moments he felt during… everything.

“I… I don't know what's real…” He said honestly. Feeling a piece of his safety chip away.

“Do…” Dinah’s eyebrows knit together. “Wally, have you had any hallucinations recently?”

_I feel not-Dicks hands going where they shouldn't have ever gone. I hear not-Barry's voice ringing in my ears. I taste blood in my mouth every time I think of not-Batman. I smell burning skin every time I think of not-Roy. I see everyone I’ve ever loved in my nightmares._

“I… Yes. Not… ‘hallucinations’ but… memories? Every time I think I can trust… this. It happens.” He shakes his head, trying to _shut down_. There calls to him and he can't help but wonder if it would be better to just…

 

“Hey. You're doing so good Wally. When you think about _what_?” 

“This. If it's… if this is real…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so despite this ambiguous chapter ending (bc im an asshole) things actually ARE getting much better :) 
> 
> ->Wanted to clarify that before y'all thought i was yankin the rug out from under y'all again
> 
> ^_^


	27. Surprise Dinah!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you may have noticed that the chapter doesn't have 'wally pov part 9'? that is because we get to see a little bit of dinahs thoughts today as well!

He woke up earlier than usual, even earlier than Dinah. Which was impressive considering she ALWAYS seemed to be awake first. He padded to the living room softly. The sun was just peaking up over the horizon as he flipped on the kitchen light. 

He double checked the hallway; making sure. He got out ingredients for breakfast and started to prepare things as quietly as he could. Time seemed to blend a bit ( _like it used to_ ) but before long he had made breakfast for Dinah. He… he was really happy. 

It made him feel _good_ to help her. It made him feel… like he did before. It was nice to know that the he wasn’t gone. The _hate_ and the _empty_ weren’t what made him… **him** anymore. 

He was happy.

He kicked his feet in the air at one of the stools, eating what he made for himself. He wondered if he should leave the food out for her and just go ahead and head out to the garden or if he should wait a bit. He drank the rest of his orange juice and spun around to leave when Dinah stumbled into the kitchen. 

She looked like shit. Her usually perfect hair was tangled and her eyes were bloodshot. Her nose was running and she was pale. His eyebrows knit in worry as Dinah mumbled under her breath-- something about ‘damn it...overslept...need to...need to...need to…’. She shuffled back and forth in the kitchen a while before noticing that there was already food in the kitchen. She blinked heavily before looking at him. He blinked back at her.

“Mornin’?” 

“Morning Canary.”

A beat of silence. A second. A third. 

“Food?”

“Yeah. I got up and made food for you. You were… tired? You kinda look sic--”

“I don't get sick.” Dinah said matter-of-factly before coughing wretchedly. He flinched in sympathy, hopping off the stool and rubbing her back. 

“You need water.” He decided, going over and filling a glass for her and handing it over. She sighed and thanked him before downing the glass easily. She ate and thanked him again before going over to the couch and falling back asleep. 

He cleaned up the mess and stared at Lance with concern. What was he supposed to do? He can't go out and work on the garden now. Not with Dinah in this state. 

He creeps over near her quietly before setting a blanket over her. He checks to make sure she's asleep one more time before zipping around the house, cleaning for her. He comes back only to find that it's only been 10 minutes.

What now?

He looks at the cell phone laying on the coffee table and bites his lip. He can't… _steal_ from her. 

Can he?

He shakes his head. Today is just not going to be a normal day. He prepares some soup for lunch before leaving it to simmer on the stove, he moves away from the living room but then finds himself at a lost for what to do now. He usually avoids the house as much as he can. 

Ever since being allowed _outside of it_ he's hardly looked back. Now he can't leave the house and doesn't know what to do with himself. He wrinkles his nose at the idea of doing… **nothing**. He doesn't think he can ever go back to just… not doing anything. 

With… _the clones_ … his days (weeks, months, years) were spent either being tortured or sitting. Now that he's got a _life_ back… “nothing” tasted sour on his tongue. 

But then again… he's a teenage speedster. “Nothing” has always grossed him out. 

He sighed before perking up at the thought of Canary’s gym. He jumped onto the treadmill (remembering to not outrun the machine) and jogged for a while before moving onto the weights-- hoping to get some muscle back. 

After working out for a few hours he came back to check on the soup. He woke Canary up, who seemed surprised and thanked him for the soup. She sighed and reluctantly took some pills before placing a cool washcloth on her forehead and picked up the remote. After some mental debating he decided to sit down next to her.

\---

After her 24 bug left things didn't go back into that weird “normal” bubble that he had made. The garden was changing from the overgrown abandoned mess from the beginning into a flourishing oasis. The flowers were blooming, the fruits and vegetables days away from being ready to pick, the bench and tables free of rust and ready to be sat on. The picnic table ready to be eaten on. The grass short and free of snakes. He even strung up some old garden fairy lights he found in the shed, making it look almost… _magical._

But as the garden came together more and more, the more time he’d spend indoors. Mostly working out, unbelievably happy at the changes in his body. 

There were still some bad days. ‘There’ still sometimes called to him. A dark shadow in the back of his mind. Promising reprise and safety after a nightmare, but now he pushed it away. He didn't need to hide in his head anymore. He didn't _want_ to hide inside of his mind anymore. He wanted to _**live**_. 

 

One day, him and Dinah ate lunch in the garden at the white metal table near the blackberries. It was… it was a bad day. He wanted to _run_. Run far far away from his own thoughts and never come back. But he swallowed down his anxiety and worked to not let his thoughts defeat him. Dinah, of course, noticed and kept conversation light. Not pushing when he would stutter over his words or occasionally flinch. 

They both cleared their mess and walked up to the back door of the house, Wally laughing a little over Dinahs joke before both of them froze in the entry way. There was someone _in_ the house. 

There was a bag that wasn't there before in front of the couch, and the smell of tea in the kitchen. 

Dinah frowned, stepping in front of Wally while Wally silently battled with himself. Run toward the possible danger to protect Dinah, or fucking _run_ because it could be Cad--

An older woman stepped into view, white hair streaked with blonde and blue eyes old but twinkling with youth. Dinah immediately relaxed her fighting position but her glare deepened. 

“Mother? What, tell me _what_ , on God's green earth possessed you into coming here?”

“ _Mother?!_ ” What? This was Black Canary's mom? Well… now that he knew that… he could see it. They both had blue eyes (albeit different shades), and he imagined that when this old woman was younger she had blonde hair like Canary. But they had different noses. ( _must get that from her dad_ , he thought to himself). 

“Yes Wally.” Dinah said through gritted teeth. “This is my mother, Dinah Drake.”

“You're named after your mom?” He doesn't know why he's so surprised, his middle name's _Rudolph_ for goodness sake. But for some reason his head just couldn't wrap around the idea of Young Justice Den Mother, Super Badass Girlfriend of Green Arrow/Oliver Queen, Mother Figure to Roy, One of the Scariest Superheroines in the Entire Justice League, Dinah Lance aka Black Canary being… the second. 

It was a weird thought, a shocking reveal to him, but didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things he supposed.

The old woman, Dinah Drake, laughed at his thoughtful expression. She straightened her blue blouse and stepped over to the couch, sitting with her ankles crossed and set her tea cup onto the coffee table. 

“Not the only name she got from me, eh Missy?” Her eyes twinkled again and she waved Wally over. His back was still stiff as a board, the anxious feeling that's been eating at him all day was hard to push down after the scare of another person being in the home. But she reminded him a lot of his Grandma Joan so he stepped over and sat near her (and the door) in one of the chairs next to the couch. 

The older woman, leaned towards him. “Believe it or not young man, I was the _first_ Black Canary.” 

“Really?” He asked, looking over to his Dinah for confirmation. Her lips were still pursed in annoyance, but she nodded a bit. 

The Older Canary snorted. “That's right young man. The first. Not that well know because back when I was young I only needed to clean up the gangs of my city. None of this… monsters and aliens and whatnot. Knew your Grandpa Jay, I did. How is the old fart? Still think he can run a marathon despite being practically ancient?”

He laughed before he could help it, cutting himself off with his hand. “He's fine. And ya, offers to go on patrol with Uncle Barry sometimes when I'm busy. It's not the patrol that's the problem… It's the attacking the Rogues like they're just Nazi’s that's the problem.”

Ms. Drake threw her head back and laughed. “I knew it! That old geezer. I’ll have to drop by and tell him off for ya. Probably giving everyone heart attacks.”

“Like you don't.” Dinah muttered, sitting down beside her mother. “Don't pretend like you don't think you're still Black Canary mother… bantering with muggers like you can kick their asses.”

“Language Dee.” (Dinahs already sour look just worsened) “But yes… I suppose I do have trouble realizing that things just aren't as they used to be.” Dinahs eyebrow raised. _Was Mother really admitting a flaw…?_ “But Jay's worse… I guarantee it.” _There she is_. “Also, Jay's older than I. Therefore he should be more careful than I.” 

Wally laughed at Dinahs eye roll. 

They ended up talking about her days with The Justice Society (he _loved_ stories about the Justice Society). He got to learn about Black Canary I, Jay Garrick, Kent Nelson (that name still stung a bit), and Hourmans adventures. Dinah moved into the kitchen a couple of times to put dinner in the oven and get drinks, and occasionally piped up to challenge the honesty of her stories--

“I don't remember you telling me that? I thought you said-”

“Don't interrupt Missy.”

“Whatever.”

\--They ate dinner together, and after that she started to ask Wally about _his_ adventures as a superhero. Dinah tensed next to her mother, trying to catch her eyes to signal to her _no, no, no, bad idea_ , and Wally felt his hands shake. He swallowed and tried to work past the jittery feeling in his gut. 

He told her about being Kid Flash, before the team, training next to his Uncle (and telling her things Jay had taught him). About Aunt Iris’s disapproval, until Uncle Barry convinced her otherwise. (Secretly sweetening her up with a trip to Paris before springing the idea of taking him out as a hero onto her). Then he timidly started with the stories about meeting the other sidekicks. The first sidekick he ever met was the older (and cooler) Aqualad. He only got to hang out with him once, he tells her, because Aquaman came to central that time and none of their future missions lined up with each other (the missions where they bring their sidekicks). Aqualad was a little ‘spooked’ because he wasn't expecting such a chipper superhero. He met Roy next, who was also older and cooler than him. But they hit it off quicker than he did with Aqualad. And he'd end up visiting a _lot_ because of Uncle Barry's and Uncle Ollies friendship.

(Dinah Senor rolled her eyes at the mention of Uncle Ollie, sending Dinah #2 side eye. Silently judging her decision in boyfriend's)

(And then he didn't necessarily help Uncle Ollies case when he excitedly told her about the time he taught him how to make jelly bombs… oops)

He then told her the one he was sort of hoping to avoid. Robin. He told her about that night, going to (her home city) Gotham to meet the first sidekick. Robin. Shorter and younger than he imagined, determined to be professional at all times, but quickly worn down. He and Robin were friends by the end of the night-- the fastest friend he's ever made.

( _"Not bad for your first time was it, Wallace?"_ )

His voice gets less confident and less theatrical as he starts on telling her about the Team. Telling her about Roy leaving before they formed the team. Telling her about Superboy. About Miss Martian. About how mad he was about Artemis joining before getting over it, and even starting to like the blonde-zillas presence. When he finally reaches the end of their descriptions and some of the missions they’ve gone on. His heart's not in it anymore. 

But Dinah the first doesn't seem shocked or bothered by this at all. She showed nothing but interest at all of his stories, laughing at the funny or slightly embarrassing parts, nodding at his description of things, asking questions about Mount Justice. She was just as good a listener as she was a storyteller. Even when it was clear that he didn't want to say anymore, throat constricted and palms sweaty. 

Dinah came into the room with dessert, hoping to help the awkward silence now permeating the air. She was still pissed that her Mother had the gall to bust into Wally's life-- not understanding how delicit of a situation this was-- just because she wanted to. And if Wally didn't have a panic attack tonight she would swear up and down that her presence was calming and healing… not even knowing all the time and effort put into helping him get to this point. 

“Mother, you may be interested in knowing that Wally's been working on the garden outside. It's no longer the overgrown mess you remember, he fixed the whole thing up. It's even better than before.”

Wally blinked. Coming out of his thoughts, he couldn't help but frown a bit in confusion. He wondered how Dinahs mother would know about the garden. In fact… now that he thought about it. He has no ideas whose house this is. At first he had thought it was another Cadmus facility. But as the distrust and paranoia began to crumble away he had then thought that it was Dinahs house. One away from Star City and Oliver. 

“Oh really?!” Miss Drake said, a smile blooming over her face. “Oh I'm so happy someone saw the potential in that old thing.” She winked at him. “I used to keep up with it, I promise. Excessive weeds and critters isn't really my idea of a garden.”

Wait. If this was _her_ house… and Dinah took him here because of the whole… clone thing… then… ?

“Did I kick you out of your house?!” What the fuck. Is he invading some old lady's home?!

Miss Drake chuckled good naturedly, reaching forward and pinching his cheek in a very grandmotherly fashion. 

“Oh of course not dear. My home is in Gotham. This is merely an old safe house of mine; from my old Justice Society days. It's been remodeled though. Much uglier.” She finished, sending her daughter a vaguely disappointed look. 

“It was booby trapped AND falling apart Mother. Not exactly the best combination. So Oliver funded a remodeling. He's always been fond of the modern look.”

“Hmm…” Ms Drake didn't seem to care. 

“Wait.” Wally said excitedly. _Omg no way… I've been in a Justice Society safe house this whole time?!_ “Is there anything cool from the JSA left?!” He scoots forward and looks imploringly at Dinah. Who looks a little taken aback. 

“I… I don't really know Wally. Oliver's the one that re-did the place…”

Ms Drake ‘harrumphed’. “If that fool _did_ find anything I imagine he would have told you Missy.” She turned to Wally, becoming a sweet grandmother again. “I bet if you explore the basement you may find the hidden door into the bunker dear.”

A grin as bright as the sun spread across Wally's face and he nearly vibrated in excitement. 

“Woah woah woah Wally. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Exploring can be done tomorrow. How about you show my mother the garden you've been working on first, before she has to _leave_.”

He nods, a little reluctantly, before running out into the garden with superspeed. Turning on the fairy lights before speeding back towards the house. Dinah one and two were making their way towards the gate. Despite Dinah clear dislike towards her mother's intrusion, she was still practically plastered to her mother's side; arm out just in case her mother slipped on the grass. 

Ms Drake looked taken aback at the sight of the garden. She clearly wasn't expecting it to be _this good_ after the years and years of neglect it suffered. Her eyes looked a little nostalgic as she took in the clean table in the corner. Praising him on the fruits and veggies growing before practically gasping at the sight of the flowers. 

Gone was the mess she knew, and in it's place was a beautiful flower garden. The flowers spilling out of beds gracefully. The lights twinkling around them. The old metal bench, her favorite reading spot, now no longer looked like the grass was eating it alive and now looked inviting once again. 

She wasn't really prepared for this, she supposes. 

A little bit away, Wally, the dear, yawned while talking to her daughter. Causing her to smile a bit, pausing in whatever she was saying to lay a hand on his shoulder. Squeezing the teenagers shoulder, before pulling away and continuing to talk to him and point up to the house.

The redhead came over and smiled at her tiredly. 

“Do ya like it Ma'am?”

“Darling, it's more beautiful now than it was in it's prime.”

The dear smiled brightly at her, hesitating just a moment before hugging her. He pulled away faster than humanly possible and said, “Night Ms Drake!” before speeding off justlike Jay used to. 

She watched as her daughter turned off the fairy lights before coming over to her, extending her arm so she can help her up the hill to the house. She let's her daughter help her, just this once. 

 

When they were in the house, Dinah paused a moment, listening to the house before deeming Wally asleep. She took a deep breath before turning to her. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, now her daughter was going to chew her out-- she's so predictable sometimes. 

“Mother. Do you know what could have happened tonight? Do you know what you could have done? Wally is trying to _heal_. He's been through things unimaginable. Tortured in a way even the most experienced superhero would be unprepared for. He was used as an experiment. A _lab rat_ Mother! A few weeks ago I couldn't say a single thing to him without him burying himself inside his head. He thought I was one of them up until probably _yesterday_. He tried to kill himself! One time he almost succeeded. That garden? That garden is the only thing in this world that kept him going! His greatest fear is his family and friends and you have the _audacity_ to ask him about what it's like to be superhero?! I've worked so damn hard to just get him to not break apart into someone unfixable. He's here because he was _broken_ there. He would have never, _ever_ healed it weren't for this place. And you show up out of the blue trying to destroy whatever sanity he's been able to build?!”

Her eyes were misting up, fists clenched and so _so_ angry.

She places her hands on her beloved daughters face. “You saved him Dinah.” She whispers. 

Dinah nearly steps back in shock. “I know you haven't heard this yet because no one has seen Wally's change, but I want you to know. _You saved him._ He may have pulled himself up-- this is his battle of course. But you put him somewhere where he can properly heal. You took out the problems, no matter how hard that was for everyone. You gave him every tool he could ever need to become better. You gave him the freedom to live. You've spent these nearly two months away from your duty, city, and your life-- doing nothing but your best. _And you saved him._ ”

She reaches forward and hugs her only daughter, cursing herself for not saying this more. 

“I'm so proud of you.”

She pulls her darling Dinah closer, wishing that it hadn't taken old age to stop being a mentor to Black Canary and start being a Mom to Dinah Lance. 

Her daughter hugs her back, even seeing her out to her car so she knows she left safely. 

 

Now… to Central City. She imagines Ol’ Jay will want to know how his darling grandson is doing. 

\---

That night Wally has a nightmare. The nights conversations stirring memories, good and bad and worse. Until he was left a shivering mess. He pads into the kitchen to grab a drink of water. Trying to banish the memories of pain and suffering and the feeling of calloused hands running up and down his sides. 

Dinah (the younger one) stumbled out at the sound he made and looked at him with concern. 

He feels a little trapped. He doesn't know what to say. He knows that he's not _in trouble_ for being in the kitchen this late, but he still feels like he was caught doing something bad. 

Dinahs eyes became sad and concerned. She walked slowly as if approaching an injured animal, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him closer. The trapped feeling beats away against his ribs, but he takes a deep breath and inhales the scent of whiskey and flowers and let's himself melt into her embrace.

 

She pulls away. “Would like to talk to me about it, Wally?”

He swallows. He wants to live. He wants to live. “Yeah. I think I do.”

She smiles like she's never heard more relieving news and leads him into the room next to the gym. It's a parody of the room in Mount Justice where Black Canary holds therapy sessions. But different. The chairs were green and there were houseplants, but it was smaller and more… homey. He sat across from Dinah, both of them still in their pajamas. And just… talked. 

It was hard. 

He didn't talk about… what happened. But he did talk about his bad days. The days where his brain tried it's damned hardest to convince him he was still at Cadmus labs. (“survival instincts”, Dinah guessed) The days where he had to talk himself out of staying in bed and avoiding Dinah like she was the plague. (“unsurprising”, Dinah assured him)

And. He thought his heart might have burst at the idea of revealing something of vulnerable…

But…

It felt good to talk. It felt good to let things off of his chest. He felt… better. He left for bed feeling like… feeling like he used to. 

He slept better that night. Better than he has since. Since before.

He slept better that night.

\---

 

In Dinahs room, she was crying and smiling as she typed as long an email as she could manage-- with how tired she was. 

She was telling the League (Flash, really) that Wally was _improving_. She has, of course, been updating them when she can. But this was different. 

They had their first _session_. 

She shut her laptop and hugged it to her chest. She took a deep breath. 

She slept better that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> daaang what a long chapter *falls asleep for 1000 years*
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> jk jk i wouldn't do that. im trying to update more... no falling asleep for me!


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